Words you can't spell/ Words that haven't spellings.

[Chedney Honks]

Scaletrix

[Aaron500]

Helichocter

[greencalx]

There's a whole bunch of words that I completely rely on autocorrect to get right. Privilege as mentioned upthread. Separate I can manage by myself now, but took me well into my 30s. Phenomenological is a bitch. And let's not even try manoeuvre.

Going the other way, I've never figured out how you're supposed to pronounce "Big Ger" in the Rebus books. Gurr? Jurr? Jair? Mostly because I've never heard the name "Gerald" abbreviated in speech.

[Magnum Valentino]

Two more Northern Ireland ones.

Rote, as in rote off/aff, as in drunk. People tend to spell it that way, but I imagine it's intended to suggest someone's so wrecked they're useless, and thus 'written off' like a car would be.

Cratur - Awk the poor wee cratur, he's soaked. Sounds almost exactly like 'crater' but pronounced with a sort of roll of the tongue on the 'chr'. Derives no doubt from 'creature'.

[Ornlu]

I remember racking my brain in Year Two trying to spell 'et' - rhyming with 'jet' - as a past-tense conjugation of 'to eat'. I ​asked my teacher, Mrs Redmond, what she thought.

"I want to say 'he bought the apple and then he et it.'"
"Why don't you just use 'ate'?"
"Oh yeah, alright then."

and I never used it again.

[gib]

I remember racking my brain in Year Two trying to spell 'et' - rhyming with 'jet' - as a past-tense conjugation of 'to eat'. I ​asked my teacher, Mrs Redmond, what she thought.

"I want to say 'he bought the apple and then he et it.'"
"Why don't you just use 'ate'?"
"Oh yeah, alright then."

and I never used it again.

i've puzzled over this for years and came to the conclusion that it's 'eat', working the same way as a verb like 'read' where the spelling stays the same for the simple past tense but the vowel sound becomes 'short'.

[holyzombiejesus]

Why do I keep thinking the past of squeeze is squoze?

[jobotic]

I'm convinced "swimmed" is a word and i once came up with a sentence in which it was correct. Can't remember it though.

Remember arguing with a friend about whether or not "assumably" was a word too. He said it was, I said it wasn't.

[Gurke and Hare]

Mrs is short for Mistress isn't it?

Isn't Miss short for Mistress?

[wrec]

Why do I keep thinking the past of squeeze is squoze?

Where I come from it's "squez"

[Darles Chickens]

Why do I keep thinking the past of squeeze is squoze?

In American TV, dove is the past tense of dive.  Instead of a bastard rat with wings.

[All Surrogate]

Why do I keep thinking the past of squeeze is squoze?

It's analogy with 'freeze'.

[flotemysost]

Going the other way, I've never figured out how you're supposed to pronounce "Big Ger" in the Rebus books. Gurr? Jurr? Jair? Mostly because I've never heard the name "Gerald" abbreviated in speech.

I'd often hear my old neighbour calling this out to his partner Geraldine when they were pottering around the garden (just Ger, not Big Ger, though that would have been great). It sounded like "Jair" (rhyming with "air" or Cher).

On a similar note, to this day I still come across words which I hear rather than read for the first time and realise with horror that if I've ever spoken them, I'd've said them wrong. I was well into my twenties or maybe even in my 30s when I realised that the epithet I'd seen written as "poof" was the same as the one I'd heard pronounced as "puff", and that it's not meant to be pronounced like boomf.

See I thought it was the other way around, but my confusion might just be because I'm reading this mentally in my Southern accent (so "puff" is a completely short, hard "u" sound for me, but for others it might have a bit more of an "oo" sound). Not that it's a term I've really heard/seen written down since I last watched Friday Night with Jonathan Ross approximately a million years ago.

[flotemysost]

Another one I've just thought of - how do you spell a wolf-whistle noise? I've seen (normally people on social media commenting under a photo of someone looking nice) "wit woo!", which makes sense in that I get what noise they're indicating but as a word/spelling is incredibly annoying to look at.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Going the other way, I've never figured out how you're supposed to pronounce "Big Ger" in the Rebus books. Gurr? Jurr? Jair? Mostly because I've never heard the name "Gerald" abbreviated in speech.

Just 'Jer', like a person with a Scottish accent[nb]I know an east-coaster's accent isn't the same as my Glasgow-ish accent, but I'll say 'Scottish accent' for the sake of simplicity[/nb] would say 'Gerald', but without the 'ald'.

The 'eh' sound as in let, deck or help.

[canadagoose]

Cratur - Awk the poor wee cratur, he's soaked. Sounds almost exactly like 'crater' but pronounced with a sort of roll of the tongue on the 'chr'. Derives no doubt from 'creature'.

That's got to be Ulster Scots, surely? I've heard that from some older folk in Scotland too.

Edit: looked it up, it seems to be used all over Ireland and Scotland so it might not be. Interesting though.

[timebug]

I used to urinate and refer to it as 'having a piss'. My mate George from Belfast, always said 'having a pish'. If someone was retching. I  would say they were about 'to puke'. To George,they were about 'to boak'! Both terms as used by me,or him, are easy to spell; but he would not have it that his version,was not the commonly used one in our area.

[holyzombiejesus]

Mrs is short for Mistress isn't it?

Isn't Miss short for Mistress?

Ms is short for misandrist.

[canadagoose]

I used to urinate and refer to it as 'having a piss'. My mate George from Belfast, always said 'having a pish'. If someone was retching. I  would say they were about 'to puke'. To George,they were about 'to boak'! Both terms as used by me,or him, are easy to spell; but he would not have it that his version,was not the commonly used one in our area.

I don't know if you meant to, but I think those are both Ulster Scots words - being commonly used in Scotland and Ulster (most of it anyway - when I say Ulster I mean all 9 counties, because the linguistic divide doesn't follow the modern border, but I'm not sure about how common it is in all of them). I remember a user here from over there talking about "mingin' pish" and thinking it sounded like something we'd say.

[touchingcloth]

Nougat.

[jamiefairlie]

Just 'Jer', like a person with a Scottish accent[nb]I know an east-coaster's accent isn't the same as my Glasgow-ish accent, but I'll say 'Scottish accent' for the sake of simplicity[/nb] would say 'Gerald', but without the 'ald'.

The 'eh' sound as in let, deck or help.

Yeah but posh Scots would pronounce it more like 'jairold' and so it would become 'jair'

[greencalx]

My guess is that most people referring to Cafferty as Big Ger will be at the less posh end of the spectrum. Thanks - I think I've sort of got it now, though I can't quite nail that particular Scottish vowel.

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Mrs is short for Mistress isn't it?

Isn't Miss short for Mistress?

Miss and Mrs are both short for mistress. No wonder women are angry.

The plural of Mrs is Mmes or Mesdames (and Miss = Misses, Ms = Mss or Mses), in case you ever want to write a formal letter to a lesbian couple to say thank you for that jolly nice threesome.
Don't text them, they hate that.