Author Topic: How do you post so much, mate?  (Read 2420 times)

Indomitable Spirit

  • God's final tantrum
How do you post so much, mate?
« on: March 31, 2021, 08:17:17 PM »
How do people post on here so much everyday? Some people post all the time and the posts are generally really good. Smart. Insightful. Funny. A clear line of thought running from beginning to end. Their posts are really long too. So long I can't be arsed to read them most of the time, but I assume they're pretty good.

I reckon some people on here pump out 10,000 words a day that make actual sense. What the fuck?

I've just spent about 30 minutes trying to write a reply in the IDLES thread in Oscillations and all of my thoughts sort of congealed and collapsed into nothingness so I gave up. I'm not thick - I have thoughts in my head that I reckon are quite good - but the moment I try and collect and regurgitate them into actual, written sentences they don't make no sense no more.

I'm 37 by the way and I have read books, though I probably should read more I suppose. That might be it.

It's taken me nearly 25 minutes to write this shit post.

Can some of the good posters on here (not you) please advise?

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2021, 08:20:14 PM »
I have nothing better to do.

Chedney Honks

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Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2021, 08:24:11 PM »
No problem at all. I just go for a shit on work dime and bang em out. If I'm working from home, I'm shitting pretty much non-stop and raking it in. I almost consider posting on the john more of my job than the actual job itself which I do with my eyes closed (usually with a grimace as well while I'm squeezing yet another one out). I don't know if you have predictive keyboard as well because that has exponentially increased my rate of posts personally but Mavis Deacon Teaches Typing has also been recommended by a lot of posters who have more limits on both time and technology. Once you lower your standards to a certain degree that your thoughts no sooner enter your hollow skull than appear on the page, you will also 'step up your game' to  compete with some of the top posters. Back in the day it was all about the craft for me but I suddenly realised at some point that the faster I post, the less likely I am to be know what will come out and so I can also be entertained by it when I read it back, sometimes.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2021, 08:25:13 PM »
I'm sorry I wrote such a long post, I didn't have time to write a shorter one.

Indomitable Spirit

  • God's final tantrum
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2021, 08:34:36 PM »
Once you lower your standards to a certain degree that your thoughts no sooner enter your hollow skull than appear on the page, you will also 'step up your game' to  compete with some of the top posters. Back in the day it was all about the craft for me but I suddenly realised at some point that the faster I post, the less likely I am to be know what will come out and so I can also be entertained by it when I read it back, sometimes.

Good insider knowledge here. The time constraints of heavy posting has always been a mystery to me, but i guess I was viewing it through the prism of my own dogshit, finicky posting style. Nice to know the real key is absentmindedly smashing out a few hundred words whilst pebble dashing the work bogs. Will try this tomorrow.

Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2021, 08:41:45 PM »
Yeah, I've often pondered the OP's question myself too. Wish I could one day be even a fraction as knowledgeable, well-read, cosmopolitan and generally cultured as some of you lot, and yet alongside finding the time to immerse yourselves in all these broad and catholic pursuits, you also write about it extensively, smartly and eloquently. Dunno how anyone does it.

I'm no good at multitasking, the idea of (for example) watching something/listening to something while penning semi-coherent thoughts about it at the same time feels nigh on impossible (I often find it hard even to listen to music while I'm working, just can't focus on both things at once and struggle to hear music as "background noise" - but that's a whole other topic in itself).

I also work from home at the moment but I've never ever browsed CaB while working, for a start I'd be terrified of being "outed" somehow, but also I'd just never get any work done - that's not to say I don't spend plenty of time pissing about on non-work websites, but to me much of the content in this place commands "deep" rather than "hyper" attention, a long read rather than a skim read.

turnstyle

  • His wife doesn't like the Sarcastic Butlers
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2021, 08:44:48 PM »
I employ a ghost writer to pen my posts. Same bloke who did Alan Sugar's autobiography.

He's really good. Quotes available on request.

Chedney Honks

  • You are ignoring this user.
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2021, 08:48:25 PM »
to me much of the content in this place commands "deep" rather than "hyper" attention, a long read rather than a skim read.

Woah literally the exact opposite here. I read a few words about of the a sentence and then I get the an gist and just reply to what I assume they said. Don't think about it too much, most of these guys are charlatans, hacks, blowhole.

Inspector Norse

  • I bash the Bishop well.
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2021, 08:51:00 PM »
I know I can never reach the heights of erudition frequently evinced by some posters on here so I just scroll through their posting history and painstakingly put together my own posts by copying and pasting individual words from a selection of theirs. I figure that if I can take just one word from each different post, nobody will ever cotton on.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2021, 08:58:49 PM »
I have no life. I barely have an existence. However I have a girlfriend.

non capisco

  • Shakin' Cheeky D
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Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2021, 08:59:14 PM »
Yeah, I've often pondered the OP's question myself too. Wish I could one day be even a fraction as knowledgeable, well-read, cosmopolitan and generally cultured as some of you lot, and yet alongside finding the time to immerse yourselves in all these broad and catholic pursuits, you also write about it extensively, smartly and eloquently. Dunno how anyone does it.

While I'm still in smoke blowing mode from the 'Now That's What I Call CAB' thread I think your posts are notably smart and eloquent, flotemysost.

Captain Z

  • Die Hard or Die Tryin'
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2021, 09:04:03 PM »
I have no life. I barely have an existence.

That doesn't explain how you manage to encounter on average two celebrities per day.

M-CORP

  • Start a revolution and call it Freddo.
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2021, 09:27:06 PM »
How do people post on here so much everyday? Some people post all the time and the posts are generally really good. Smart. Insightful. Funny. A clear line of thought running from beginning to end. Their posts are really long too. So long I can't be arsed to read them most of the time, but I assume they're pretty good.

I reckon some people on here pump out 10,000 words a day that make actual sense. What the fuck?

I've just spent about 30 minutes trying to write a reply in the IDLES thread in Oscillations and all of my thoughts sort of congealed and collapsed into nothingness so I gave up. I'm not thick - I have thoughts in my head that I reckon are quite good - but the moment I try and collect and regurgitate them into actual, written sentences they don't make no sense no more.

I'm 37 by the way and I have read books, though I probably should read more I suppose. That might be it.

It's taken me nearly 25 minutes to write this shit post.

Can some of the good posters on here (not you) please advise?

All I can say is I hear you - I rarely post, because I'm only a figure of authority on three things: Doctor Who, music I like, and chips. When I do post, it takes me far too long given its relative importance, and I always come away feeling I've contributed nothing but incoherent bilge, that's nowhere near as insightful or funny as what other people are saying.

Also feel like I've not read enough, and it took me 30 minutes to write this. Though that is admittedly down to an eBay offer getting in the way and distracting me.

Basically my advice is, don't worry, you're not the only one. Also, consult your local Citizens' Advice bureau. And don't kill otters. (That's what advice is, isn't it, Mummy?)

pigamus

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Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2021, 09:38:05 PM »
Wish I did post like the proper posters. I can never be arsed.

Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2021, 09:51:23 PM »
While I'm still in smoke blowing mode from the 'Now That's What I Call CAB' thread I think your posts are notably smart and eloquent, flotemysost.

Aw, cheers. Likewise to you!

Woah literally the exact opposite here. I read a few words about of the a sentence and then I get the an gist and just reply to what I assume they said. Don't think about it too much, most of these guys are charlatans, hacks, blowhole.

See, for me, much of the joy is in the detail - even in the most nonsensical whimsy or crass indulgence on here, there's often a subtle artfulness to the choice of words, however brief, that has to be absorbed in full to be really enjoyed. Not to crossover with the "Now That's What I Call CAB!" thread too much here, but something like for example poo's Eggdillis-9 for me gets that balance right, delightfully so.

I think generally it's pretty easy to see when someone's self-consciously going after that rambling, surreal, juxtaposing-big-clever-words-with-colloquialisms Blue Jam monologue tone, which admittedly may well be a sort of blue(jam)print for the overall "house style" here - but there's so much original, sharp, startling and plain hilarious content in this place I wonder that more of you lot aren't pro wordsmiths (especially given the amount of shite that does get published professionally, and after being proofread and edited and all).

Not necessarily exactly what this thread is about, I know, but I'm frequently astounded by the volume and quality of the content that many posters manage to bash out on a regular basis (they're all ahhhhh.)

Wonderful Butternut

  • Summer Night City!
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #15 on: March 31, 2021, 09:55:31 PM »
I can talk extensive amounts of bollocks about specific things that I'm interested in:

Star Trek
Liverpool Football Club
Certain periods in Irish history
Occasionally political stuff if I'm arsed.

Not much in the old brain case after that and it does take me a while to compose a long post and I usually butcher some sentence structure somewhere after rewording something.

Chedney Honks

  • You are ignoring this user.
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #16 on: March 31, 2021, 09:56:53 PM »
flotemysost

I was being faux-glib, itself an incredibly studied and refined approach to posting which few can compete with.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • Your sleep paralysis demon
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #17 on: March 31, 2021, 09:59:39 PM »
"Fuck it, post"

Words to live by. I always just assume that nobody reads my bits anyway, so why not post whatever I want?

pigamus

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Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #18 on: March 31, 2021, 10:05:03 PM »
Always feels like pissing down the sink to me

That’s a terrible attitude I know, I mean how would the forum be any good if everyone thought like that

Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2021, 10:09:32 PM »
A good amount of my not very eloquent posting tends to be to stop my eyes melting from prolonged photo editing.

All Surrogate

  • That wo is me, pore child, for thee
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #20 on: March 31, 2021, 10:21:47 PM »
I seems to be trying to post more. Unfortunately it's mostly politics.

Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #21 on: March 31, 2021, 10:44:31 PM »
They don't have to be cogent, articulate posts cock bum willy poo.

Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #22 on: March 31, 2021, 11:14:48 PM »
flotemysost

I was being faux-glib, itself an incredibly studied and refined approach to posting which few can compete with.

See, I can only dream of unlocking such lofty meta-posting wizardry.

Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #23 on: March 31, 2021, 11:31:22 PM »
I've just spent about 30 minutes trying to write a reply in the IDLES thread in Oscillations and allf my thoughts sort of congealed and collapsed into nothingness so I gave up. I'm not thick - I have thoughts in my head that I reckon are quite good - but the moment I try and collect and regurgitate them into actual, written sentences they don't make no sense no more.

Mate, if it makes you feel any better, I do this all the time. I've been on CaB for a decade and have abandoned more posts than posted posts. Although I've never had a formal diagnosis of OCD, I'm pretty certain I'm on the "OCD spectrum" and it factors into almost any kind of writing I attempt. For example, I have to put an entire day aside to fill out job applications forms.

As for how others post so much, can't vouch for everyone but my CaB activity has exploded during lockdown, with 600 of my 1200 posts  made since February 2020. Despite a bit of bickering here and there, in all honesty, CaB's actually been a bit of a lifeline over the last year.

Just short of 15 minutes for two paragraphs :)

Retinend

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Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #24 on: April 01, 2021, 07:41:23 AM »
As for how others post so much, can't vouch for everyone but my CaB activity has exploded during lockdown, with 600 of my 1200 posts  made since February 2020. Despite a bit of bickering here and there, in all honesty, CaB's actually been a bit of a lifeline over the last year.

Likewise, my posting history could be neatly divided into "pre" and "post" COVID, and I signed up in 2009!

To answer the OP's question, "how do you post so much?": the answer is currently "lockdown and home office". Previously, the answer would have been "university and unemployment".

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #25 on: April 01, 2021, 07:58:27 AM »
Woah literally the exact opposite here. I read a few words about of the a sentence and then I get the an gist and just reply to what I assume they said. Don't think about it too much, most of these guys are charlatans, hacks, blowhole.

wHAT This gUY said

TrenterPercenter

  • Rock the CABLADs
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #26 on: April 01, 2021, 08:40:43 AM »
Not buying all of this "lockdown, working from home" balls, most serial posters have been pumping out the same level of posts for years. I reckon they are all doing bird for sex crimes.

Blue Jam

  • The pie don't lie
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #27 on: April 01, 2021, 09:25:31 AM »
I seems to be trying to post more. Unfortunately it's mostly politics.

Can you post more pics of beautiful men with big dark eyes please? I miss those.

Head Gardener

  • weed specialist
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Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #28 on: April 01, 2021, 09:33:46 AM »
posting pics is quicker & easier

TrenterPercenter

  • Rock the CABLADs
Re: How do you post so much, mate?
« Reply #29 on: April 01, 2021, 09:45:40 AM »
It's funny as there has just been grumblings over the length of some posters posts in another thread; I'm not sure if a series of one line Garyisms are any different though.  That being said I do reckon CAB could largely be distilled down to about 6-7 onomatopoeias for most threads


Grrrr!
Hmmm
Naaah
Grrrr!
Haw Haw!
Boo-hoo
Hmmm
Laaaaaads!


Maybe we should save the planet and just stick to these.

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