Litter cunts

[Huxleys Babkins]

Ed Sheeran is a cunt

EDIT: New Page joke sequence ruined cunt

[checkoutgirl]

The problem is littering is very slightly illegal but smashing some litterbug in the face is way, way more illegal. Even though blatant littering is one of the most infuriating things possible. So if someone litters there's no mechanism to punish them legally but if you give them the brutal beating they deserve then another mechanism will immediately go into operation to punish you.

Thankfully I witness actual littering about once every 3 years. I don't think it's a problem round our way although that might be because the street cleaners sort it. Or maybe Paddy Irish man don't litter so much. Manners are practically beaten into us as kids. My mother taught me not to litter when I was about 3 years old so fuck knows how litterbugs were raised or what kind of moral compass they have at all.

There's a lad called Cart Narcs on t'internet who accosts and badgers people who leave their shopping trollies in the car park. America being the one country who haven't yet adopted the pound coin in the trolley system. The idea is trolley returning is the first, easiest, quickest indication of self regulation in society. The guy is very good at annoying people do it's difficult to know who to root for sometimes.

Maybe it's only a matter of time before we get Litter Narcs.

[turnstyle]

Ed Sheeran hates discarded beer cans

[checkoutgirl]

There's a president in the Phillipines a few years ago who said it's perfectly legal if you want to machine gun to death a few drug dealers. Maybe bring that in for litter bugs, it's an extreme measure but if we did it for a week people would get the message. You'd have to make sure gangsters didn't use it as an excuse to clean house but I'm sure that would be easy enough.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Craig Cash hates trash
Hugo Weaving hates leavings
Mark Watson hates flotsam and jetsom
Alison Brie hates debris
Thelonious Monk hates junk

John Kettley is a weatherman a weatherman a weatherman

[checkoutgirl]

I once saw a schoolkid in uniform just drop a copy of the Metro on the platform at Clapham Junction just before he boarded the train and it enraged me.

I once saw a lad just drop a fag packet on the ground, I wanted to punch his face in. He looked vaguely European which made it worse (racist, yeah whatever). His girlfriend didn't even pull him up on it. Also once saw a man finish a can of coke and stop to place the empty can on the ground, like not dropping it somehow made it better. Maybe people who litter are just about functional but educationally subnormal or maybe they have undiagnosed emotional problems. I can't see any other reason for it. Littering seems really perverse to me, it's so easy to put it in the bin or hang onto it until a suitable receptacle becomes available.

[Buelligan]

Our village and the surrounding communes switched the company who takes away our bin rubbish and recycling.  I'm guessing it was cheaper with the new lot.  I work (when there isn't a pandemic) in a restaurant.  In that restaurant, we use some very particular and specific ingredients which are sourced from quite specific tiny rare companies.  So I know their packaging.  Since this lot took over, the route from my isolated country restaurant towards town has become littered.  And when I've collected that litter, I've found the packaging off of stuff that I'm certain came from my workplace and I know was sent for recycling.  This makes me really angry.

[Sebastian Cobb]

When I worked in a resturant in a manor house the lord just used to take all the plastic, cardboard and polystyrene and burn it, along with the grease from the bins we emptied the grease traps into.

[checkoutgirl]

I've found the packaging off of stuff that I'm certain came from my workplace and I know was sent for recycling.  This makes me really angry.

Waste management companies are often owned by gangsters (Gamorrah, The Sopranos etc) as it's a quick and easy way to make a few quid. Tell them the asbestos will be put in sealed concrete at the core of the Earth and then just lob it in a kids swimming pool on the way home. Trouser the cash.

[checkoutgirl]

When I worked in a resturant in a manor house the lord just used to take all the plastic, cardboard and polystyrene and burn it, along with the grease from the bins we emptied the grease traps into.

But then all the smoke just lands on his property and leaches into the water table. What a halfwit.

[Buelligan]

Yep, we used to have a dump, for the village, something that had been used since the beginning of the village, I expect.  It was in a small ravine, across the valley.  In the last few years before it was closed, I'd see and hear truck after truck, easily a hundred a day, coming from god knows where, to dump god knows what.  I hate these cunts as much as any cunts on earth.

This place is, was, so pristine, why would anyone want to spoil it?

[turnstyle]

I saw a group of lads having a chat and one of them dropped some litter. I think I'd had a bad day or something because in the moment I was enraged, and thought 'I'M NOT HAVING THAT', as if he'd just jizzed over my Mum or something.

I marched over and picked up the offending item. I don't know if it was a trick of the light or what, but it was much, much smaller than I had originally perceived it. It was a tiny torn off bit of sweet wrapper, probably about as big as a bees eyelash. It was too late to stop though. When I'd finally clasped the tiny fragment, I marched over to the lads, and said in a passive aggressive tone 'I think you dropped this MATE'. He looked at me confused, took it off me, and said 'Oh, thanks'.

I walked off while him and his buddies were probably doing wanker signs behind my back. I wish I could say I felt good about the whole thing, like Captain Planet, but I just felt a bit pathetic, like Captain Twat.

Littering is shit, obviously, but the tiny bit of paper wrapper this lad had dropped was probably no more than three molecules wide and would have naturally evaporated within seconds.

[Fambo Number Mive]

People who litter on purpose and dont have a reasonable excuse should be made to eat their litter and not stop until they have fully swallowed. Enjoyed eating that Pepsi can did you?

They should do the same with people who don't clean up after your dog or leave the turd in a little bag on the pavement. If they leave it tied to a tree they get to have some mustard with their turd and bag.

[Sebastian Cobb]

People who litter on purpose and dont have a reasonable excuse should be made to eat their litter and not stop until they have fully swallowed. Enjoyed eating that Pepsi can did you?

Would love to see this, I live in an area with bad fly-tipping and would like to see someone work their way through a load of rusty mattress springs.

[El Unicornio, mang]

America being the one country who haven't yet adopted the pound coin in the trolley system.

I wouldn't hold your breath for America adopting a system of putting pound coins in a trolley.

Seriously though, they do have the coin system at Aldi over there, with quarters. There was actually a whole thing with people being confused as to why they had to pay money to take a trolley.

https://www.mashed.com/143493/the-real-reason-aldi-makes-customers-pay-for-shopping-carts/

[LynnBenfield69]

A couple of times I've seen people in parked cars open their doors and quietly drop empties into the gutter. While it's tempting to go over and pop it back through the window I don't wish to have my face bashed in.

Even the act of indignantly binning it myself would result in a bashed face I'm afraid. What's a fella to do?

[Sebastian Cobb]

A couple of times I've seen people in parked cars open their doors and quietly drop empties into the gutter. While it's tempting to go over and pop it back through the window I don't wish to have my face bashed in.

Even the act of indignantly binning it myself would result in a bashed face I'm afraid. What's a fella to do?

[Buelligan]

A couple of times I've seen people in parked cars open their doors and quietly drop empties into the gutter. While it's tempting to go over and pop it back through the window I don't wish to have my face bashed in.

Even the act of indignantly binning it myself would result in a bashed face I'm afraid. What's a fella to do?

Even worse, when the chuck cigs out.  Obviously an enormous fire hazard, here, especially.  But think about what a cigarette but flying at speed in air does if it zooms back in through someone else's car window or wedges in your crotch when you're on a motorbike.  These people need live cremation or worse.

[imitationleather]

I absolutely love littering and so do all my mates. Can't wait to get back with the lads for some heavy mutual littering.

[All Surrogate]

Jordan Peterson leaves his house for the first time ever

Hehe, it does come across a bit like that. But at least I'm tidying a space that isn't my own. I do wear a hat, but it's a wooly one, and only when it's cold.

[king_tubby]

I started dropping litter after this campaign.



Fuck the queen! Drop litter!

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Dogshit in a Cedar, I know
I know, it's serious

There actually is a tree called a coma, that's the tragedy.

[JaDanketies]

I don't think people appreciate how the stuff they drop on the street likely ends up in our rivers and then the sea and kills marine life. I think they believe that it gets picked up eventually.

I used to think I was being conscientious by dropping joint ends down storm drains but incredibly, the storm drain water isn't treated at all, it just gets pumped out unfiltered into wild water. Only learned this relatively recently. Would be such an easy gain for the environment to use some semi-permeable membrane somewhere along the storm sewers and clean it out occasionally.

Biggest cause of plastic pollution in the ocean is apparently cigarette butts.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I think the problem is rainwater comes on fast and it needs to clear quickly when it does. Drains get full of leaves as well as rubbish which would prevent that from happening. Not to mention that there are already living things that can block water outlets.

Most solutions rely on cleaning things as they get towards harbours I think. There's those big trash wheels that can scoop a lot of it out.

Joints probably aren't that bad (compared to litter and cigs) given they're made of paper and cardboard rather than plastic.

[Buelligan]

The best solution seems to be not to use drains as rubbish chutes.  People who want to smoke in the street should furnish themselves with one of these.

[Rizla]

I've got a Litter Ledge over the road from me, bloke who saunters up and down the street a few times a day picking stuff up and binning it. Makes up for having other, shitter neighbours like Bog the Accuser, and Dogshit Cunt (a man 2 doors up who lets his dogs shit in front of my house). I myself dealt with the enormous pile of mouldering leaves that accumulated  at our end of the street last autumn, with a big spade and some cardboard -  I could tell LL was impressed, ledge see ledge.

[popcorn]

After I returned from Japan I was shocked at the amount of litter in the UK. I just hadn't noticed it before. During lockdown last year I started litterpicking. I found it therapeutic and interesting, and allowed me to take the moral high ground.

A few people do say thanks, which is nice. A few people also just come over and pop their rubbish in your bag which I don't know how I feel about. I'm not here to make it easier for people to get rid of litter, I'm trying to correct for the shitty behaviour of other people.

Most irritating litter to grab: broken glass (just shatters further); sodden paper (no structural integrity); cigarette butts (surprisingly grabbable but you can only grab one at a time, so you might spend ages just clearing one spot).

Glass bottles pose logistical problem, as they don't go in the binbag and must be taken to the bottle bank. This disrupts litterpicking flow - walking to bottle bank and seeing more litter en route, which cannot be picked up as your litterpicker is holding the bottle.

At one point I found a litterpicker that someone had thrown into a bush because it was broken. I don't know what the implications of this situation are.



My dad put a new bolt in it and then I had two litterpickers.



I do shout at people who I catch dropping litter. I don't know if it's actually likely to dissuade them from doing it, so I don't know if it's the right thing to do. But I think litterers should know they're not invisible when they do it.

[BlodwynPig]

I picked up a wing mirror today - bloody heavy they are when you have to carry them for a few miles to the nearest bin.

[Mr Eggs]

Most irritating litter to grab: broken glass (just shatters further); sodden paper (no structural integrity); cigarette butts (surprisingly grabbable but you can only grab one at a time, so you might spend ages just clearing one spot).

Full condom hanging in Blackthorn hedge is the ultimate.
Teasing it out to test the elastic limit and avoid the snapback and wash of congealed spunk ("Dead Man's Facial")

[Dex Sawash]

And the council is paying you for that