My friend has built a raptor station and is leaving carrion on it.

[Twit 2]

Big plinth. Rotting roadkill etc. Hopes it'll attract birds of prey.

Comments and questions about this welcome.

[Buelligan]

Make sure that anything you leave there is dead from something that won't kill no raptors.  Cheers.

[Twit 2]

OK

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Cover story for a zombie lure. Is it near a cemetery?

[Buelligan]

Don't be idiotic.  This is dead material.  A zombie wouldn't even turn over in bed for that.

[Alberon]

Is there enough roadkill to make this viable or are hitchhikers disappearing in the area?

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Don't be idiotic.  This is dead material.  A zombie wouldn't even turn over in bed for that.

Big plinth. Rotting roadkill etc.

You're the nonchalant sceptic who ignores the hero[nb]Me[/nb] in the first act.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Big plinth. Rotting roadkill etc. Hopes it'll attract birds of prey.

Comments and questions about this welcome.

Did he at any point say "have you seen my new fridge"

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Repeatedly claim you've seen a stray dog way up top fucking it but never offer any evidence

[idunnosomename]

Quiet! All of you!

They're approaching the tyrannosaur paddock.

[Twit 2]

Cover story for a zombie lure. Is it near a cemetery?

Church graveyard a mile away.

Is there enough roadkill to make this viable or are hitchhikers disappearing in the area?

Probably and maybe.

Did he at any point say "have you seen my new fridge"

No.

[bgmnts]

Hope squirrels dont get at it and get a taste for flesh.

[Buelligan]

You're the nonchalant sceptic who ignores the hero[nb]Me[/nb] in the first act.

Oh dear, that means I get

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Only advice is that your friend keep schtum about the raptor station within earshot of pigeon fanciers and farmers. Because they will attempt to poison or shoot them.

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Oh dear, that means I get

Laughed (at the joke, not your demise).

On the bright side you'll turn up later as a zombie chewing on the intestines of someone you see throw a McDonalds wrapper at a cow.

[Johnny Yesno]

Big plinth.

Carrion cunt's table.

[Buelligan]

[Thomas]

My friends take kids out on trips to the moors and come back without them

My friend says his drains are blocked and reckons someone's been putting their KFC down there

My friend eats onions as if they were apples and has just redone the patio

My friend has built a raptor station and is leaving 'carrion' on it

Come on mate. In a few months you'll be telling a Daily Mail reporter 'he seemed so normal'.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

It'll probably attract rats. Does your friend like rats?

[Twit 2]

No, but he attracts them.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

It'll probably attract rats. Does your friend like rats?

apparently my crazy friend here has never heard of The Food Chain

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

There's a Carry On pun to be made here, but I can't be arsed. Any takers?

[idunnosomename]

Keep calm and carrion

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Carry On Attracting Birds By Erecting a Meat Plinth

[idunnosomename]

matron

[Video Game Fan 2000]

I only had me arm raptor round her. She was owling!

[Johnny Yesno]

There's a Carry On pun to be made here, but I can't be arsed. Any takers?

Ahem.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,86145.msg4510220.html#msg4510220

You don't deserve puns.

[Echo Valley 2-6809]

Aye, reet gradely were that, Johnny lad.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Oh dear. I didn't even catch that one. Mea culpa.

[Johnny Yesno]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be a carrion dick about it.