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Bryan Ferry's Roxy Rejection Letter

Started by Rizla, April 02, 2021, 06:31:47 PM

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Rizla

Doing the rounds on twitter. If it's an April fool it makes no sense as such. Where's the gotcha? Anyway it's a day late, and the consensus is that it's real.

Of course it's not real, it's S4C HIV-tier bantz. The amount of dickheads falling for it (inc. Chris Frantz) has depressed and angered me.



Haha stupid stuffy record execs! They sent a James Last tape to him! James Last!

Quick, put a picture of Brian Thigh in the replies! Oh someone's already done it. Oh well!!!!

Fuck off.




Pauline Walnuts

err.. Assuming it is real, didn't they quite eloquently say what they thought was wrong with the tape, for them, as a major record label. You know, constructive criticisms and all that.

Better than a 'Thanks for your tape, but at the moment blah blah'.

I don't even care if it's real to be honest, wonder who it was that sent that note to EMI A&R complaining that they were signing the Sex Pistols?

Chriddof

The graphic design on the Polydor letterhead is enough to make me think that this is balls. Not only does the font not look right at all,[nb] Although some companies did use very different alternate logos for letters and stuff (such as this Thames TV one), the font still doesn't look right for the time period anyway. I think it's something that used to come standard with Windows about 15 years ago.[/nb] that gap between the L and the Y is immense! In the 70s major record companies did tend to employ people who knew what kerning was.

Judging from the astonishingly shitty JPEGness of the image, I think this is something mocked up quite a while ago that's resurfaced for whatever reason.

pigamus

Lovely typewriter they've got for 1971. And that Frankie Vaughan line is too clever for its own good.

Quote from: pigamus on April 02, 2021, 07:54:10 PM
Lovely typewriter they've got for 1971. And that Frankie Vaughan line is too clever for its own good.

The Frankie Vaughan line is what tips it towards fake for me.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Wouldn't there have been more punctuation in the address and date in 1971? And the date would have been above the address, and probably on the right

                                                                                30th June, 1971


Mr. B. Ferry,
21, Eversleigh Road,
London.


Yes, the type is too thin and has no flaws.

holyzombiejesus

Surely major label A&R men didn't send little reports to people who sent a demo to them? It's clearly a stupid unfunny fake.

My friend's band sent a demo to Factory in the late '80s and the label sent back a really shitty note saying (and these are the exact words) "Your demo doesn't mean shit to a tree". Imagine being the kind of dickhead who thinks that's a) funny or witty and b) should be sent to a band who'd sent you a tape.

holyzombiejesus

Also, James Last's Polka-Party was only issued on cassette in the Netherlands and Germany.

TheMonk

Frantz should have given this letter to David Byrne to wipe his arse on rather than his bedsheets.

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on April 02, 2021, 11:56:33 PMMy friend's band sent a demo to Factory in the late '80s and the label sent back a really shitty note saying (and these are the exact words) "Your demo doesn't mean shit to a tree". Imagine being the kind of dickhead who thinks that's a) funny or witty and b) should be sent to a band who'd sent you a tape.
The way Factory was run, I could believe it was a member of New Order/Happy Mondays who happened to be in the office the day the tape arrived and decided that responding themselves would be a right jape. After all, they only signed OMD because Tony Wilson's wife liked them (he thought they were pop crap), so their A&R practises were always somewhat loose.


shiftwork2

Hmmm.  Three artist mentions that are instantly understood today.  Just through chance I would have accepted two, and one lost to five decades.

Pauline Walnuts

#12
Quote from: OnlyRegisteredSoICanRead on April 02, 2021, 06:39:59 PM

I don't even care if it's real to be honest, wonder who it was that sent that note to EMI A&R complaining that they were signing the Sex Pistols?

I got bored, so I looked it up,

https://stereosociety.com/sexpistols/

https://pinkfishmedia.net/forum/threads/amusing-letter-to-emi-sex-pistols-a-r-man.36391/

R*ss St*gg of Str*pps.

Who are even worse than you'd imagine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfV6ta_1ZKc

Lyrics to their first album opening track, School Girl Funk

"Wanna get my laughin' gear 'round some cutie's little pearl

Sweatin' Little Virgins, Urgin', Urgin' Let me be your Surgeon,
Urgin', Urgin' On! Sweatin' Little Virgins, Urgin', Urgin' Let me be your Surgeon, Urgin', Urgin'"



The Culture Bunker

Quite amusing that yer man Ross turns up in that thread to show himself not at all bitter about the Sex Pistols' continued high-profile in comparison to the "who?" factor of his own former outfit.  Though judging by those lyrics posted above, may be just well nobody has heard of them or he might have been sweating out being a potential Yew Tree collar.

Pauline Walnuts

That's a point, I'd better censor it before I summon the Candyman