Topic: Friendly Neighbourhood Tories

[greencalx]

Up here, at least, there's an election coming up which means a deluge of leaflets coming through the door. We have a degree of grim fascination with the "Friendly Neighbourhood Tory" look, of which our local candidate is a textbook example.



Something about his face just screams "Tory" but I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe the echoes of Cameron's puffy face look. This one also to be seen sporting what we refer to in our household as the "Tory jacket".



I'm sure there's better examples doing the rounds. Other party political stereotypes also available.

[Buelligan]

I know it's wrong but that first picture made me laugh like a cat.  I hope he loses his deposit.

[Theremin]

An old friend used to describe this phenotype as 'Bloated Rodent'.

[Buelligan]

Heheh, I always think of them as alcoholic auctioneer.  The other type of tories are categorised dessicated sex criminal.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Palm Grease and Chip Butty cunt, probably has a dog for photo ops that he neglects in the dark of his father's barn. If he could at least try to get forms of osteoarthritis rapidly that would amuse.

[greencalx]

I know it's wrong but that first picture made me laugh like a cat.  I hope he loses his deposit.

This is my wife’s doing. She tends to intercept the election leaflets and make adjustments accordingly. At least, that’s what I think is happening.

[Buelligan]

I seem to remember you posting one that your son did once (or am I wrong, probably). 

[greencalx]

Possibly. There have been so many elections since he was born he got wise to election leaflets very quickly and started taking the piss out of them.

I do believe Miles Briggs (for it is he) has a “mind reading” dog.

[Buelligan]

Let's face it, I don't think it would test many peoples' imaginations to consider the possibility that there might be a great many dogs able to out-think and predict Miles Briggs.

[bgmnts]

Do you think he actually uses both breast pockets? If so, what does he put in each one?

[Buelligan]

Breasts of course.  Honestly, sometimes, bgmnts.

[earl_sleek]

This one's a bit old, and not technically a Tory, but of their ilk (NSFW): https://i.imgur.com/Ol6Dv5q.jpg

[Phoenix Lazarus]

This fella's standing in our ward and I can't think of anything snide to say about him so, the rest of you, get your creative minds working.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hello, I am your new Stepdad! I have been rehearsing your name for 10 minutes outside and look, I have brought you a present, look it's a gift unsuitable for someone of your age, but it's the thought that counts, right?

I don't suppose you have an interest in...finance, by any chance? Ah, of course not, that difficult age.

I spent 10 years hoovering up coke, and I own a series of timeshares in Marbella. The nights are so cold now, so cold and very alone.

[Buelligan]

I don't think he has timeshares in Marbella.  Seriously.

[Sebastian Cobb]

He looks like he's made a small fortune in kitchen telemarketing scams.

[Buelligan]

Or Herbalife. 

[bgmnts]

Tory-Man, Tory-Man,
Does whatever a Tory can,
Spins a web of many lies,
Only votes for his own pay rise,
Look out! Here comes the Tory-Man!

Is he wrong? Listen, Bud!
He's got pure patrician blood,
Here's the thing, he's well bred,
Even though he's braindead,
Hey there, there goes the Tory-Man!

Tory-Man, Tory-Man,
Friendly neighbourhood Tory-Man,
Poverty he's ignored,
Peerage is his reward,
To him, life is a great big fry up,
Wherever there's a high-up,
You'll find the Tory-Man!

[Butchers Blind]

This fella's standing in our ward and I can't think of anything snide to say about him so, the rest of you, get your creative minds working.

Plenty of failed business ventures behind him, still listens to britpop ("the 90's were great"), hasn't got the courage to go full shaved with his thinning hair.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Paul McKenna cassettes in the glovebox

[Glebe]

Jason Manford has lost weight.

[Kankurette]

Up here, at least, there's an election coming up which means a deluge of leaflets coming through the door. We have a degree of grim fascination with the "Friendly Neighbourhood Tory" look, of which our local candidate is a textbook example.



Something about his face just screams "Tory" but I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe the echoes of Cameron's puffy face look. This one also to be seen sporting what we refer to in our household as the "Tory jacket".



I'm sure there's better examples doing the rounds. Other party political stereotypes also available.

Reminds me of when we were living in Chester and we got some Tory bollocks through our door, with Gyles Brandreth on it. Mum had fun vandalising it.

[frajer]

My Neighbour Totory

[wosl]

Something about his face just screams..

[greencalx]

[Schrodingers Cat]

Jason Manford has lost weight.

I was thinking Barry Dodds.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Making me think of this photo of Mike Weatherley, who was my old tory MP

[Spode]

This fella's standing in our ward and I can't think of anything snide to say about him so, the rest of you, get your creative minds working.

Still insists on only using loose tobacco. To brush his teeth. Sprays Lynx Africa every time he farts. Turns his undies inside out, then upside down. Puts space raiders on his Christmas dinner.

[Inspector Norse]

Didn't know who that was - thought at first it was a '90s cricketer who shares a name with an infamously treacherous modern politician - but a Google Image Search reveals that he is, um, a flowerpot.

[greencalx]

Graham Gooch?