Author Topic: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021  (Read 8817 times)

Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #30 on: May 27, 2021, 10:22:42 AM »
As posted by Sebastian Cobb in the deso thread:

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/perth-kinross/2245819/former-ladbrokes-boss-took-delivery-car-from-perth-kebab-shop-during-moment-of-madness/

Quote
The former CEO of bookmaking giant Ladbrokes gambled with the law when he made off with a delivery driver’s car from outside a Perth kebab house after a drunken night out in the city centre.

Recently-retired Kenny Alexander, who as boss of Britain’s biggest betting firm commanded a net worth of around £23 million, accelerated away from the Marmaris takeaway in South Methven Street when the driver stepped inside to pick up an order.

Perth Sheriff Court heard the 52-year-old was seized by a “moment of madness” after he and his drinking buddy were refused entry to a taxi home.

When the driver caught up with him and told him police were on their way, Alexander took to his heels and ran off through the city centre.

Officers were later dispatched to the businessman’s £750,000 home in Brompton Terrace and found him sitting outside.

“It’s me you’re looking for,” he told officers.

I've posted in previous threads that I've often been tempted to jump into running vehicles and drive them about for a bit before returning them. Knowing the punishment is a mere £1,000 fine and a driving ban means it's definitely staying on my Peter radar.

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #31 on: May 27, 2021, 05:10:07 PM »
Just ripping off that short story bgmnts wrote

The Mollusk

  • Das ist not eine booby!
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #32 on: June 13, 2021, 07:37:52 PM »
Was trimming the massive hedge outside our house today with some big shears, and as I was doing the side bit (not the front/back) I was stood on my front path cutting so the blades were facing the path of the street. They weren’t poking out so as to even be seen by people walking past but couldn’t help thinking what it would be like if a small child walked past as I was getting a bit too enthusiastic and I just fuckin lopped off their head or their arm or something. All I could picture was me being like “WHOOPS!” in a really exaggerated way. WHOOPS I’ve cut a babby’s head off!! WHOOPS!!

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #33 on: June 13, 2021, 10:40:21 PM »
Someone did a mad thought at us today:driving though Glasgow and someone threw a big lump of concrete or something onto our car window as we were driving on the motorway. Not permanent damage but a thrilling way to start an eight hour journey for sure

icehaven

  • WORLD'S BIGGEST RIP OFF: $100 PER PERSON
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #34 on: June 14, 2021, 09:29:21 AM »
Someone did a mad thought at us today:driving though Glasgow and someone threw a big lump of concrete or something onto our car window as we were driving on the motorway. Not permanent damage but a thrilling way to start an eight hour journey for sure

Fucking hell, they could have killed you, I'd tell the police as there might be cctv.

Mr. Haven also acted on a motorway-based mad thought on Saturday. We were doing about 70mph on his bike and as we went past some traffic cones he wondered what would happen if he kicked one of them. What happens is it's much heavier than anticipated, he nearly breaks his foot, and the light flies off the top and bounces off my leg. I just thought we'd swerved too close to it until we stopped and he 'fessed up. He won't be doing it again.

Endicott

  • I've done no research
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #35 on: June 14, 2021, 02:35:36 PM »
Have you ever tried picking one of those fucking things up? I've always found it absurd that a drunk person would be able to actually carry one all the way back home.

Paul Calf

  • LOTION MAN
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • “Martha and the Muffins…no, the Vandellas”
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #36 on: June 14, 2021, 02:36:12 PM »
Yeah, they've got sand and/or water in the base. I found out by looking it up with the relevant authority doing the same thing myself.

icehaven

  • WORLD'S BIGGEST RIP OFF: $100 PER PERSON
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #37 on: June 14, 2021, 02:56:35 PM »
Have you ever tried picking one of those fucking things up? I've always found it absurd that a drunk person would be able to actually carry one all the way back home.

I don't think he realised it could be full of sand or whatever it is that weighs it down, and had pictured it flying hilariously into the air and everyone clapping. He actually could have wiped us out, the silly prick.

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #38 on: June 20, 2021, 08:40:40 AM »
Fucking hell, they could have killed you, I'd tell the police as there might be cctv.

Mr. Haven also acted on a motorway-based mad thought on Saturday. We were doing about 70mph on his bike and as we went past some traffic cones he wondered what would happen if he kicked one of them. What happens is it's much heavier than anticipated, he nearly breaks his foot, and the light flies off the top and bounces off my leg. I just thought we'd swerved too close to it until we stopped and he 'fessed up. He won't be doing it again.

That's amazing! I would be so tempted to kick everything on a mororbike. Or whack everything with a chain like in road rash

icehaven

  • WORLD'S BIGGEST RIP OFF: $100 PER PERSON
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #39 on: June 20, 2021, 10:42:09 AM »
That's amazing! I would be so tempted to kick everything on a mororbike. Or whack everything with a chain like in road rash

I often want to kick the side mirrors of cars that get too close or don't seem to see us, but I'd probably end up breaking my legs.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Upphängningspunkterna
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #40 on: June 20, 2021, 11:55:35 AM »

The best motorcycle trick is putting your feet on the road surface and standing up when it is raining. One of those cumulative PMTs, you begin by just lightly touching one toe to the road and marveling at lack of friction.
You can't really get all of your weight on your feet since you have to grip the saddle firmly with your thighs.
Have never worked out if this proves that tires are amazing or that motorcycling is exceptionally precarious.

bakabaka

  • not improving with age
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #41 on: June 20, 2021, 01:09:36 PM »
While making a cup of tea I noticed a note I'd written on my wrist in indelible pen.
"Boiling water should get rid of that."

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • such
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #42 on: June 20, 2021, 01:27:07 PM »
If I’m sat opposite someone while they take a swig of a drink, I always think about pushing up on the bottom of the glass or mug so that it tips all over their chin and chest. Every time.

Often when I speak with people who I’m friendly with but not hugely so, I get the urge to tell them that they’re my best friend and see what happens. I’m on friendly terms with my manager at work, and when we have 1:1s I like to imagine what would happen if I said “it’s so nice having my best friend as my manager”.

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #43 on: June 24, 2021, 07:24:41 AM »
Hate it when people's mad thoughts are as wholesome as thst

Mine are all shoving couples off viewing point balconies and making pensioners eat their wedding rings

canadagoose

  • Member
  • **
  • inoperable brain bum hole
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #44 on: June 30, 2021, 06:22:19 PM »
I was reading a Wikipedia page today and saw this image:



I instantly felt the urge to pick the baseball bat up and smash the apple pie, and then the apples. Maybe shove the apples in the pie then smash them together and then rub the glove in the resulting mess. I don't hate apple pie - I quite like it - but come on, the baseball bat is just sitting there.

Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #45 on: July 01, 2021, 02:22:47 PM »
I was reading a Wikipedia page today and saw this image:



I instantly felt the urge to pick the baseball bat up and smash the apple pie, and then the apples. Maybe shove the apples in the pie then smash them together and then rub the glove in the resulting mess. I don't hate apple pie - I quite like it - but come on, the baseball bat is just sitting there.

you'd surely have to shout "how do you like them apples?" after doing that.

icehaven

  • WORLD'S BIGGEST RIP OFF: $100 PER PERSON
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #46 on: July 01, 2021, 02:47:47 PM »
I was reading a Wikipedia page today and saw this image:



I instantly felt the urge to pick the baseball bat up and smash the apple pie, and then the apples. Maybe shove the apples in the pie then smash them together and then rub the glove in the resulting mess. I don't hate apple pie - I quite like it - but come on, the baseball bat is just sitting there.

It'd be fun to spin the pie in the air sideways and then whack it, then have someone pitch the apples at you proper baseball style so you got showered by smashed fruit.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Upphängningspunkterna
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #47 on: July 01, 2021, 10:23:53 PM »

Tempted to pick up and put on the masks that are scattered around the parking lots (america)
Maybe 3 or 4 at once

canadagoose

  • Member
  • **
  • inoperable brain bum hole
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #48 on: July 01, 2021, 10:39:17 PM »
It'd be fun to spin the pie in the air sideways and then whack it, then have someone pitch the apples at you proper baseball style so you got showered by smashed fruit.
Yes! Perfect.

Tempted to pick up and put on the masks that are scattered around the parking lots (america)
Maybe 3 or 4 at once
I saw a glove (like the fluorescent kind builders use) near a building site the other day and thought about putting it on. Was manky as anything and I'm funny about dirt but I still considered it.

canadagoose

  • Member
  • **
  • inoperable brain bum hole
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #49 on: July 01, 2021, 10:41:54 PM »
you'd surely have to shout "how do you like them apples?" after doing that.
Oh deffo, with a crazed laugh afterwards.

bakabaka

  • not improving with age
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #50 on: July 02, 2021, 10:25:21 AM »
then have someone pitch the apples at you proper baseball style so you got showered by smashed fruit.
Have you never played fruitbat? A very popular game at kids' parties[1], but a word of warning: if you play it like baseball, do not be the catcher unless you have a hazmat suit.

One of the joys of having a summer birthday.
 1. with the kids, not the parents

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • such
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #51 on: July 02, 2021, 10:26:35 AM »
Hate it when people's mad thoughts are as wholesome as thst

Mine are all shoving couples off viewing point balconies and making pensioners eat their wedding rings

I get those ones as well. If I’m ever on a boat, the urge to hoy a fellow passenger off the back is incredibly strong, and gets stronger in proportion to the size of the boat and distance from shore. Just punting an innocent cunt fifty feet into the middle of the Atlantic - imagine their face!

Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #52 on: July 02, 2021, 10:41:46 AM »
Just the urge to write loads of horny, sweary stuff all over my LinkedIn profile and then email my job coach to see what he thinks about it.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Upphängningspunkterna
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #53 on: July 02, 2021, 12:44:40 PM »

I saw a glove (like the fluorescent kind builders use) near a building site the other day and thought about putting it on. Was manky as anything and I'm funny about dirt but I still considered it.

I really meant have a wank with when I said put on

Tony Tony Tony

  • The Man, the Myth, the Bellend
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #54 on: July 02, 2021, 12:53:29 PM »
Was walking down the street in that London the other day and found myself behind the unmistakable form of Warwick Davies. Whilst I have no grudge against the man I had an almost irresistible urge to give him a running kick up the arse. The thought of him flying through the air arms flailing was sooooo enticing. I suppose the thought came from those now banned(?) dwarf throwing events though I never actually attended one not being a Legend Gary.

I can only say that the diminutive Davies didn’t get a kick up the arse from me on account of I enjoyed Life’s Too Short so much, though that quiz show he did (tenable?) did make it a close run thing.

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • such
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #55 on: July 02, 2021, 01:25:23 PM »
I really meant have a wank with when I said put on

I did have a wank in that glove; gutted they didn't fall for my plan and put it on. Wasted seed.

Bernice

  • a turkey is a bad person (he/him)
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #56 on: July 02, 2021, 01:34:11 PM »
Can't walk past dog shit anymore without imagining picking it up in great fistfuls and just mushing it into my mouth, chewing it all claggy like, taste just like is smells, chomp chomp chomp.

Got to the point where the mere sight of it makes me gag, so I have to walk around looking straight ahead, ironically increasing my chances of stepping in dogshit and having to fight the urge to lick it off my shoe.

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #57 on: July 02, 2021, 01:41:52 PM »
I get those ones as well. If I’m ever on a boat, the urge to hoy a fellow passenger off the back is incredibly strong, and gets stronger in proportion to the size of the boat and distance from shore. Just punting an innocent cunt fifty feet into the middle of the Atlantic - imagine their face!

Love this
Can't walk past dog shit anymore without imagining picking it up in great fistfuls and just mushing it into my mouth, chewing it all claggy like, taste just like is smells, chomp chomp chomp.

Got to the point where the mere sight of it makes me gag, so I have to walk around looking straight ahead, ironically increasing my chances of stepping in dogshit and having to fight the urge to lick it off my shoe.

Yes mate
Just the urge to write loads of horny, sweary stuff all over my LinkedIn profile and then email my job coach to see what he thinks about it.

YES

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #58 on: July 14, 2021, 10:12:38 PM »
It'd be fun to spin the pie in the air sideways and then whack it, then have someone pitch the apples at you proper baseball style so you got showered by smashed fruit.

Joey Bats smashing up fruit

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UxbK2ERrwqw

The sad thing is you can see the strike down the middle with the banana likely beat him and he got jammed on it. The warning signs were there.

Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts 2021
« Reply #59 on: July 15, 2021, 10:02:12 AM »
I've posted in previous threads that I've often been tempted to jump into running vehicles and drive them about for a bit before returning them. Knowing the punishment is a mere £1,000 fine and a driving ban means it's definitely staying on my Peter radar.

Yeah whenever I see someone has left their key in the ignition I'm also tempted to take their car for a spin. Isn't TWOC like the least-serious type of theft? So you'd get in more trouble stealing Smarties from the off-license.

Tags: