Topic: Saying goodbye to a pet

[greenman]

Had to have one of my two put down a few weeks ago aged 17 due to mouth cancer although I admit that was more of a "fading away" loss as she had shifted to doing little but sleeping and eating what little she could over the last year. That's after spending £3000+ on vet costs over the last 3-4 years to deal with hyperthyroidism and it causing throat infections which meant she needed to go on a drip several times to survive.

[Rev+]

It's the worst, and I'm really sorry both for the OP and greenman - we had our two cats put down at similar ages, for completely different conditions, within six weeks of each other.

My heart can't take that again, and I can't handle the vet bills, so we've gone the absolute moron route of getting rats.  So sweet, so loving, so dead within two years.

[Bob-Kate]

It’s heartbreaking. But after a while remembering them becomes a good thing. A really good thing.

The worst part is never knowing if you’re making the right decision. You’ll beat yourself up, whatever you do - whether you keep on trying out different treatments or if you put them out of their misery.

When you love your dog or cat that much they know (yes, even cats) and giving them a living home is the very best thing you can do. Hold on to that.

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

Really sad, nothing useful to add really but know that you gave your pet a happy and safe life.

[mobias]

Sorry to hear about your cat BritishHobo. Hope he's ok. I live alone with my three cats. They're the world to me. Whenever one of them has got sick its been incredibly stressful getting them to the vet so i know what you're going through.

[Thomas]

Sentimentality with pets always eluded me. If a cat was 5 times your size would they show you any mercy? Would they fuck. They'd torture you for hours before they killed you. Remorseless killing machines. Dogs are worse. Ever get chased by a pack of wolves? Didn't think so.

These animals are social - they need companionship. A domestic dog regards you as a member of its pack, and treats you with loyalty and affection. Cats are social, too, and can suffer anxiety in isolation. If my cat's dramatic reaction whenever I return to the house after taking the bins out is any marker, he would probably yowl and miss me for a bit before eating me.

As for big cats, they demonstrate memory and affection, too - what we might call a form of sentimentality. There are plenty of videos of lions being reunited with the humans who raised them. This one could easily kill the bloke for a quick meal, but obviously has an emotional attachment.

Human sentimentality is only a more complex version of the social affection these mammals experience, after all. Crows and elephants mourn. Our superior emotional capacity wasn't beamed in specially from space.

[Jockice]

I've been through this a couple of months ago because my girlfriend's darling dog (a big daft lurcher called Blue) had to be put to sleep at the age of 14. I wasn't there on the day (covid regulations) but went to see him the weekend before. He was in a sorry state. I only knew him for half his life but still well up at the thought of him.

As for pets of my own I've had to have two put down in my life. My dog (a border collie imaginatively called Shep) when I was 12 and my cat Pongo nine years ago. And I felt EXACTLY the same on both occasions. The first time I did go with my dad and can't remember if I was there for the actual injection but the second time I had friends offering to come with me but really needed to do it on my own. At least Pongo was a fair age (16ish) but Shep was only two. In fact I had two dogs during my childhood both of whom died at that age (I was about eight myself when Kerry was put to sleep. Still don't know the full story of what happened there) so from then on I've lived through other people's dogs since then. They're my favourite things on earth, but I daren't have one myself.

As for cats, my first one, The Cat Formerly Known As Jarvis (got her the week Pulp were first on Top Of The Pops and it later turned out she wasn't a male) got run over. On Valentine's Day. In the period it took for my to pick up my niece and nephew from my parents' place to come round and see her. Great timing mate. And not forgetting Jimmy the tortoise and Bluey/Brutus the budgie  who both died natural deaths. God knows hold old Jimmy was but we had him about seven years, and B/B lived until he was 11, which isn't a bad age for a budgie.

Sympathies to anyone in that sort of situation. It's fucking horrible.

[The Dog]

I can't even think about stuff like this

Fairly sure when my cat eventually goes, I'm just gonna join him.

Same.

[The Dog]

If a cat was 5 times your size would they show you any mercy? Would they fuck. They'd torture you for hours before they killed you. Remorseless killing machines. Dogs are worse. Ever get chased by a pack of wolves? Didn't think so.

Physically speaking, my dog could overpower me and probably could kill me, if he wanted to. He is heavier than me and stronger as well, but he’s very gentle and is too lazy anyway.

Cats also don’t want to kill you, but they will turn you into a cat if they get the chance.

[Tony Tony Tony]

They do say dogs have owners cats have staff. To your puss you are nothing more than a functionary who brings kitty food and opens the door.

In return you do get the kind of unconditional love that only a pet dog or cat can give, though probably loving the food more. The love is given no matter how much of a tosser you have been that day.

You have my sympathy should your moggy cash in the last of its nine lives, though temper this with the knowledge that should you shuffle off this mortal coil your cat wouldn’t give a shit.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Whoops double post. Sorry, even my dog thinks I’m a tosser today.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Sorry to hear this. I had to have my cat put to sleep a few years ago and I don't care what anyone says, I felt it as badly as when friends or family members have died. And in some ways it's worse because you can't express grief as much as you inevitably get the "it's only a cat" brigade piping up. Although when I posted about it on facebook I actually got more messages of sympathy than when I posted about my Dad dying. There is a connection with pets which doesn't have the barrier we often have with humans, which can also make it more painful.

[Glebe]

Sorry to hear about what you're going through BH, hugs and fingers crossed for your cat. Hugs also for everyone else with similar stories. Never actually owned a pet, but have gotten attached to friends and neighbours pets in the past.

[Zetetic]

They'd torture you for hours before they killed you. Remorseless killing machines.

For much the same reasons, I can't abide humans. Won't have them in the house.

[BritishHobo]

It doesn't follow anyway because cats are too big to be flushed down the toilet. Lob in the bin like that woman but unlike her wait for it to die. Sentimentality with pets always eluded me. If a cat was 5 times your size would they show you any mercy? Would they fuck. They'd torture you for hours before they killed you. Remorseless killing machines. Dogs are worse. Ever get chased by a pack of wolves? Didn't think so.

There was a moment in the car where I really thought he was going. He looked so tiny, he was so tired, his little eyes really heavy. Dusk was giving way to night outside as we sped through little villages towards the vets. He's a black cat, so all I could see of him was his eyes. Whenever I couldn't see them, I was convinced he was gone, he'd slipped away there, and was at peace. I tapped on the carrier in sheer desperation, and he opened his eyes and fixed me with a glare of absolute fury, as if to say 'will you fuck off you cunt, I'm trying to sleep'.

[BritishHobo]

Cheers for the lovely thoughts everyone. Fella should be coming home this afternoon, pending a piss at the vets.

[jobotic]

Hooray!

[wooders1978]

Good news BH

My darling boy, who I got from the dogs trust in 2010, died in my arms a few weeks ago, he’d done the whole gradually getting weaker thing, i was taking him to the vet that morning to be put down and he took the decision out of hands, bless his little heart - no one wanted him but me as he’d been adopted a few time’s but sent back for biting, He never bit me though do I guess he thought those others were pricks or something - great dog

[bgmnts]

Good news Britishhobo.

Give him some Dreamies or Sheba or something today for being a good lad.

[Kankurette]

Aw, I'm glad your boy's safe. Give him all of the treats!

[Jockice]

Excellent!

[Tony Tony Tony]

Cheers for the lovely thoughts everyone. Fella should be coming home this afternoon, pending a piss at the vets.

Top news, glad he pulled through.

Not sure how the vet is gonna take to you having a whizz in his surgery.... oh hang on do you mean your moggy has to have a pee before coming home?

[Jockice]

They do say dogs have owners cats have staff. To your puss you are nothing more than a functionary who brings kitty food and opens the door.

Staff get paid and sometimes actually receive some respect, Slaves is the term you were looking for.

[Jockice]

Physically speaking, my dog could overpower me and probably could kill me, if he wanted to. He is heavier than me and stronger as well, but he’s very gentle and is too lazy anyway.

Er, you are a dog.

[FerriswheelBueller]

My parent’s dog was put down last week. She got to 16 and a bit, which is an excellent innings but she was in bad shape towards the end. That was the last dog I grew up with - I have taken it very well all things considered, but it is still desperately sad.

That’s four dogs that I have outlived (that I’m aware of). It is genuinely the only thing putting me off getting one - the idea that they will at some point be old and die is just heartbreaking, and this is a purely hypothetical dog I don’t even own. Ridiculous. I’ve actually been too pathetic to read this thread because animals getting old and dying is a bit too much for me, the thread title resonated with me so I parped out these two paragraphs and now I’m outta here.

Hope everyone is ok.

[Thomas]

They do say dogs have owners cats have staff. To your puss you are nothing more than a functionary who brings kitty food and opens the door.

I must contest this popular line of thinking. My cat often mewls when I or my partner leave the house, even if one of us is still present for food duties. He wanders from room to room in my wake, friendly slow-blink engaged, and he sits with us to gaze at the TV. They're social animals - you just have to build the bond.

I know somebody who has a bedraggled 'farm cat', whose ostensible job is catch rats. That cat has never been socialised, and to him, no doubt, the humans in the farmhouse are little more than the functionaries you mention, who occasionally chuck a handful of food at him. It can't stand to be touched. But a settled-in housecat has a totally different attitude. One of our neighbours has a very old, sociable cat, who regularly pops by for a fuss even though we never feed her.

My respect for the cat is Ancient Egyptian.[1]

1.	they should have bells on their collars if they go outside, though, to warn the birds.

[imitationleather]

Yeah my cats have more in common with puppies than the stereotypical cat personality that often gets trotted out. It's no doubt due to me being around them all day. Can get a bit much sometimes, but I massively prefer this to a standoffish cat.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Yeah my current cat (and last one) is very dog like. The one I have now brings me things in her mouth that she wants me to play with her with, or things she thinks I like, follows me everywhere, rolls over on her back to have her belly scratched, always has to sleep with me, very affectionate with people. Both Maine Coons, which is apparently a very dog-like breed.

Glad things are looking up for yours, BritishHobo!

[petercussing]

Glad the cat is well, hooray!

[Glebe]

Delighted to hear the good news BH.

Hugs wooders and Ferris.