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Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc

Started by Gurke and Hare, April 06, 2021, 09:00:46 PM

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Gurke and Hare

Here's one for people who want to live on a submarine: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/104968019?utm_campaign=property-details&utm_content=buying&utm_medium=sharing&utm_source=twitter#/



Welcome to my home, just step through the airlock.



Yes, we chose those shitty uncomfortable toilets that they have in shopping centres.

imitationleather

Blimey, this is the third time I've seen this house in the past fifteen minutes.

SHIT'S GONE VIRAL

imitationleather

I would love to know who lived there before.

Footballer?

Drug dealer?

Lottery winner?


PlanktonSideburns


flotemysost

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on April 06, 2021, 09:19:32 PM
Walk through vid had me in tears

Yes, that was gold.


How about this?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/98158766#/media?id=media2&ref=photoCollage

Yours for just under a grand a month, all the decor of a budget chain hotel room with even less of the space, complete with an armchair upholstered in the hide of Elmer the Elephant. Hope you like Pot Noodles, because that's all you'll be able to cook with your state of the art kitchen facilities of one small travel kettle.

Absolute state of that. If there was enough room to have someone over you'd have to fill that kettle twice if you wanted to have a cup of tea with them, so good job that won't ever be an issue I suppose.

(This is just sounding a bit like that shit unfunny Vice column isn't it, but even worse. Tbf looking at listings for studio flats in London is complete fish in a barrel.)

Gurke and Hare


flotemysost

I can't find it, but surely the "Gas this house..." place is worth a mention in here.

The Culture Bunker

That studio flat in Pimlico I can imagine is the sort of place in normal times that would be rented by some smart-arse who'd then stick it on AirBnB at £150 a night.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: flotemysost on April 06, 2021, 09:29:01 PM
Yes, that was gold.


How about this?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/98158766#/media?id=media2&ref=photoCollage

Yours for just under a grand a month, all the decor of a budget chain hotel room with even less of the space, complete with an armchair upholstered in the hide of Elmer the Elephant. Hope you like Pot Noodles, because that's all you'll be able to cook with your state of the art kitchen facilities of one small travel kettle.

Absolute state of that. If there was enough room to have someone over you'd have to fill that kettle twice if you wanted to have a cup of tea with them, so good job that won't ever be an issue I suppose.

(This is just sounding a bit like that shit unfunny Vice column isn't it, but even worse. Tbf looking at listings for studio flats in London is complete fish in a barrel.)

this would have better suited the soundtrack of the original walkround video i think

PlanktonSideburns


BlodwynPig


Sebastian Cobb



Door on automatic shutter thingy.
Phone and ports with notice above.
Plumbed in hair dryer.
That kettle/tea facilities on tray.
What looks like an instruction/guest book on the table.

All screams b&b.

PlanktonSideburns


Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 06, 2021, 10:29:53 PM


Door on automatic shutter thingy.
Phone and ports with notice above.
Plumbed in hair dryer.
That kettle/tea facilities on tray.
What looks like an instruction/guest book on the table.

All screams b&b.

Especially with the minibar in the cavity under the tea tray.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 06, 2021, 10:29:53 PM


Door on automatic shutter thingy.
Phone and ports with notice above.
Plumbed in hair dryer.
That kettle/tea facilities on tray.
What looks like an instruction/guest book on the table.

All screams b&b.

Telly mounted on wall, too...that *is* a fucking room in a  b+b , isn't it? There's no way That's a legit " studio flat " you'd expect anyone to live in for any length of time.

imitationleather

Probably renting it out on a long-term let while the tourism industry is dead.

touchingcloth


flotemysost

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on April 06, 2021, 10:57:09 PM
that *is* a fucking room in a  b+b , isn't it?

Oh it absolutely is, it's just the flagrant denial of this in the description that's cracking me up. " ...this property is a perfect fit for any working professional London base..." I mean imagine working from home there during lockdown. Or having to quarantine in there. Pure deso.

Pimlico is a nice enough area I suppose, there's always the Regency chippy for when Cup A Soups don't cut it.

Icehaven

But aren't all the things that make living in these areas desirable closed now? I can totally see why people are flocking to quieter areas but moving somewhere where it's all about the buzz when there isn't one seems counter intuitive.

flotemysost

Something really odd about this one, I can't quite put my finger on it: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/79658146#/

I think it's a combination of the glass roof (looks quite cool, but surely that'd be a nightmare during a heatwave/potentially a bit scary at night), the incongruous furniture (moth-eaten velvet sofas and cheap self-assembly dining table), and the frantic repetition of the word "modern" in the description when it clearly looks anything but. Doesn't look like a bad place though.

So many "spacious" studios seem to either have Murphy beds or the sleeping area is up on a claustrophobic mezzanine space. I'd definitely suffer a fatal injury while trying to get into bed pissed.

Quote from: icehaven on April 06, 2021, 11:55:49 PM
But aren't all the things that make living in these areas desirable closed now? I can totally see why people are flocking to quieter areas but moving somewhere where it's all about the buzz when there isn't one seems counter intuitive.

I dunno, I've been working from home for over a year now but I still rent in London. Obviously I'm very lucky that I can afford to do so (and the majority of my family and friends are in/around here), but also the idea of upping sticks to somewhere quieter where I don't know anyone doesn't hold much appeal, even if it would be considerably cheaper. It's definitely a bit surreal and sad at times thinking how long it's been since I last enjoyed the level of cultural vivacity that there'd normally be, but at the same time I can't imagine just leaving.

Also, lots of places have lowered rent because of decreased demand, so if you've started a new job in a city and you want to have the potential to be able to go into your workplace when that's an option/you just want to enjoy some element of that lifestyle when it does hopefully return, you could be onto a good thing.

But yeah, estate agents not bothering to update their copy to edit out the bits about "vibrant city life" or whatever to entice people new to the area is pretty glaringly obvious.

imitationleather

From the house in the OP, this is the funniest one for me Clive:


Who doesn't want a nightclub toilet paper dispenser in their own home wardrobe toilet?

Barely any of the rooms have windows.

touchingcloth

When people mentioned the video tour, I didn't for one goddamned minute suspect it would be paired with Carmina Burana.

The whole house looks like Crystalmaze.

The Ombudsman

Did anyone see the converted church in the US last year? I seem to remember two toilets next to each other without any kind of partition. I think it was being used as a warehouse.

Mr Banlon


Blumf

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/104614352/

Half decent semi, okay-ish price, for Sussex (I don't know), all very pleasant.

Now, open the map and take a look at the street view.

Motivated seller?

Icehaven

Quote from: Blumf on April 07, 2021, 02:03:56 AM
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/104614352/

Half decent semi, okay-ish price, for Sussex (I don't know), all very pleasant.

Now, open the map and take a look at the street view.

Motivated seller?

"Don't miss this unique opportunity to live right next door to a genuine tragedy."

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: The Ombudsman on April 07, 2021, 01:37:42 AM
Did anyone see the converted church in the US last year? I seem to remember two toilets next to each other without any kind of partition. I think it was being used as a warehouse.

Read a thing the other day that apparently in the US it was quite common for homes in industrial places to have a shitter and a sink or small shower in the basement, not partitioned off. Supposedly so grubby workers could enter through the basement door and have a shit and a shower before entering the house proper.

idunnosomename

Quote from: touchingcloth on April 07, 2021, 01:20:04 AM
When people mentioned the video tour, I didn't for one goddamned minute suspect it would be paired with Carmina Burana.

The whole house looks like Crystalmaze.
they even timed the shot changes with the timpani hits. AND went into Fortune plango vulnera. Not sure how that's going to make anyone buy a house. Also thats a lot of acoustic guitars.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Blumf on April 07, 2021, 02:03:56 AM
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/104614352/

Half decent semi, okay-ish price, for Sussex (I don't know), all very pleasant.

Now, open the map and take a look at the street view.

Motivated seller?
imagine sitting there in your dressing gown with armed police thinking how could this get any worse, and then the google car drives past

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-50687705