Author Topic: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc  (Read 2116 times)

non capisco

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #30 on: April 07, 2021, 09:54:22 AM »
From the house in the OP, this is the funniest one for me Clive:


Who doesn't want a nightclub toilet paper dispenser in their own home wardrobe toilet?

Barely any of the rooms have windows.

No shithouse is complete without a picture of Kurt Cobain to look at whilst you're achieving nirvana.

Where's the extractor fan? Built into Kurt's mouth, perhaps, otherwise that room would smell like more than teen spirit. Where's the DOOR? Don't mind me, guest, just need to drop the shopping. If you wouldn't mind standing with your back to me for a while though. I can put some music on to mask the sounds. Do you like Nirvana?

I sometimes consider moving because I've been renting the same one bedroom flat for years now and lockdown has made me slightly sick of the sight of it but the thought of having to traipse round looking at absolute chancer properties with a lunatic's idea of a toilet is too much to bear. And they all cost more pcm than where I'm currently renting. If a literal hotel room is going for nearly a grand a month I'm staying put and enjoying my four seperate rooms, one of which is a normal khazi, he gloats.

Gurke and Hare

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #31 on: April 07, 2021, 11:34:07 AM »
Also thats a lot of acoustic guitars.

Loads of guitars, but no other stuff visible anywhere in the house. No books, DVDs, knick-knacks, unopened post, pizza menus, just all the stuff that - to be cliched about it - makes a house into a home. Horribly sterile living environment.

turnstyle

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #32 on: April 07, 2021, 11:39:29 AM »
From the house in the OP, this is the funniest one for me Clive:


Who doesn't want a nightclub toilet paper dispenser in their own home wardrobe toilet?

Barely any of the rooms have windows.

What does the little sign say? 'I know I'm in my.....?' I can't work it out and I NEED TO KNOW.

shiftwork2

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #33 on: April 07, 2021, 11:44:26 AM »
I know I'm in my mum.

Cuellar

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #34 on: April 07, 2021, 11:47:51 AM »
Fascinating gym/horseshoe sofa set up too.

Get all the lads round to watch you squat.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #35 on: April 07, 2021, 11:56:27 AM »
Fascinating gym/horseshoe sofa set up too.

Get all the lads round to watch you squat.

Shame the accompanying music vid has gone but you get the idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtih-dNShKo

icehaven

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #36 on: April 07, 2021, 03:07:47 PM »
Yes, that was gold.


How about this?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/98158766#/media?id=media2&ref=photoCollage

Yours for just under a grand a month, all the decor of a budget chain hotel room with even less of the space, complete with an armchair upholstered in the hide of Elmer the Elephant. Hope you like Pot Noodles, because that's all you'll be able to cook with your state of the art kitchen facilities of one small travel kettle.

Absolute state of that. If there was enough room to have someone over you'd have to fill that kettle twice if you wanted to have a cup of tea with them, so good job that won't ever be an issue I suppose.

(This is just sounding a bit like that shit unfunny Vice column isn't it, but even worse. Tbf looking at listings for studio flats in London is complete fish in a barrel.)



Reminds me of the millions of blatant houseshares that inevitably clog up the results of any search for flats or small houses. No it's not a one bed studio flat with 'shared facilities', it's a fucking room in a fucking houseshare. And they have the gaul to put 'all bills included!' as a feature, as if that doesn't give it away even further. It's even worse if your min/max rent range includes the average price of a room in a share as well, then you get endless listings for 6 bedroom houses for £500 pcm, always with suspiciously large kitchens in the main photo. 

Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #37 on: April 07, 2021, 03:18:30 PM »
This one's actually quite nice until you go through the kitchen and find yourself in a fully functional 9-cell prison.

https://photos.riverfronttimes.com/there-are-nine-jail-cells-inside-this-missouri-house-kinky-photos/?slide=1&morrison-01











265k, a bargain compared to similar UK properties. And imagine you're making a film/TV drama series that's half set in prison, half set in a regular American household. Sorted.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2021, 03:29:26 PM by El Unicornio, mang »

imitationleather

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #38 on: April 07, 2021, 03:49:03 PM »
That place is amazing. I want it.

icehaven

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #39 on: April 07, 2021, 03:50:25 PM »
This one's actually quite nice until you go through the kitchen and find yourself in a fully functional 9-cell prison.

https://photos.riverfronttimes.com/there-are-nine-jail-cells-inside-this-missouri-house-kinky-photos/?slide=1&morrison-01











265k, a bargain compared to similar UK properties. And imagine you're making a film/TV drama series that's half set in prison, half set in a regular American household. Sorted.

I could actually work from home!

Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #40 on: April 07, 2021, 04:52:33 PM »
Let's club together and make it happen. Discount for the 9 people who have to sleep in the cells.

Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #41 on: April 07, 2021, 05:04:57 PM »
I could actually work from home!

You'd be the Governor. "Morning Guv", Mrs Icehaven would say. "Everything's ship-shape."

Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #42 on: April 07, 2021, 06:49:41 PM »
Reminds me of the millions of blatant houseshares that inevitably clog up the results of any search for flats or small houses. No it's not a one bed studio flat with 'shared facilities', it's a fucking room in a fucking houseshare. And they have the gaul to put 'all bills included!' as a feature, as if that doesn't give it away even further. It's even worse if your min/max rent range includes the average price of a room in a share as well, then you get endless listings for 6 bedroom houses for £500 pcm, always with suspiciously large kitchens in the main photo.

Urgh, yeah I hate this. At least Rightmove have added a filter now so you can hide shared houses, but how thick do landlords/estate agents think people are? I always use SpareRoom for flatshares - if I'm going to be living with new people, I want to at least speak with them directly first and get a feel for what they're like, rather than trust some shady lettings agent who only cares about their commission. "You'll be sharing with four other professionals in their 20s and 30s..." nah mate, I need more to go on than that.

Although even then, you still get plenty of estate agents messaging you on there too (who obviously haven't read your advert, as I clearly put NO AGENCIES OR LANDLORDS PLEASE). And recently, one live-in landlord who messaged me detailing the sex life of his former tenant (including her name) and how he had evicted her for having men over, which was all a bit unpleasant.

This one's actually quite nice until you go through the kitchen and find yourself in a fully functional 9-cell prison.

https://photos.riverfronttimes.com/there-are-nine-jail-cells-inside-this-missouri-house-kinky-photos/?slide=1&morrison-01











Post-lockdown someone's going to make an absolute mint on Airbnb with that one. Instagrammable weekend getaway in the streets, sordid dungeon fuckfest in the sheets.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #43 on: April 07, 2021, 06:57:20 PM »
It's amazing just how unlike pancreas' house it looks once it's been cleaned.

Gurke and Hare

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #44 on: April 07, 2021, 10:18:57 PM »
At least Rightmove have added a filter now so you can hide shared houses

Which never works, I guess because letting agents are too lazy to mark them as shares.

Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #45 on: April 07, 2021, 11:32:09 PM »
I can't find it, but surely the "Gas this house..." place is worth a mention in here.

Ah, found it https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,45442.0.html

I still think it looks like it would have been a pretty cool place to live, cloyingly kooky flatmates and apparent open-plan bedroom/living room layout notwithstanding.




imitationleather

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #46 on: April 07, 2021, 11:54:29 PM »
Only seven years ago but everything about those photos looks like it's centuries old now.

icehaven

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Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #47 on: April 08, 2021, 08:12:35 AM »
Which never works, I guess because letting agents are too lazy to mark them as shares.

Yep I still got a lot of shares in the results despite supposedly filtering them out. A lot don't have 'houseshare' in the wording and are listed as studios, one beds, even entire houses until you click and then it says "one room available." It seems deliberate rather than due to laziness as they've obviously tried to obfuscate the fact that it's a share until you click on it, which is odd when it's unlikely someone who's purposefully tried to filter out shares would suddenly think 'nah sod it, I'll live with a bunch of strangers instead." just because it's put in front of them. It's just annoying and puts you off using the site.

Re: Weird/shitty/generally notable houses on Rightmove/Zoopla etc
« Reply #48 on: April 08, 2021, 06:17:04 PM »
Yeah, it's infuriating. Or you get listings for places which have their own front door or are self-contained, so at first glance seem like a one-bed or studio (with the price tag to match), but then you read the spec and it boasts of "access to communal bathroom/kitchen facilities" - so you're paying full whack to not have flatmates, but you still have to deal with other people's skidmarks/washing up. People you might not ever really see or talk to either, which surely makes it even less appealing.

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