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March 19, 2024, 08:42:04 AM

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People are fucking weird

Started by kalowski, April 09, 2021, 10:06:23 PM

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kalowski

Went for a walk today with my family and a friend and her two daughters. Near the end we were walking down a narrow path one of my friend's daughters, a 7 year old, was telling me the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. An elderly woman was stood near the end of the path and as we got to her I said, "Thank you," for waiting for us.
"You could have walked a bit faster," she grumbled. I couldn't fucking believe it. I could have mentioned my injured Achilles. I could have mentioned that I was with a little seven year old kid who was probably at top speed. I could have told her to fuck right off.
I didn't.
When she said "You could have walked a bit faster," in that miserable, entitled voice you often get in Hale and Altrincham I simply said, "We couldn't, actually, but thanks for waiting."
As I walked past she continued to moan at me.
I will put money on her being a Tory cunt.

neveragain

You should have coughed in her face.

Sebastian Cobb

Should've just replied with a big rip-roaring guff.

Jittlebags

Quote from: neveragain on April 09, 2021, 10:08:03 PM
You should have coughed in her face.

I'd have shat in her handbag.

Dex Sawash


gib

if you'd gone down a third path the old lady there would have been just right

kalowski

We should have turned round and walked back down the path.

bgmnts

Should have launched the kid at her head, Fastball Special style.


Buelligan

You could have gone to her house, eaten all her fucking porridge and gone to sleep in her bed or just given the keys to a massive fucking wolf.

Captain Z

In fairness, her husband had just died.

Buelligan

Not the woodlouse woman again is it?  I hate that.

kalowski

Quote from: Captain Z on April 09, 2021, 10:33:19 PM
In fairness, her husband had just died.
If I meet her again she'll join him.

Kankurette

Quote from: kalowski on April 09, 2021, 10:06:23 PM
Went for a walk today with my family and a friend and her two daughters. Near the end we were walking down a narrow path one of my friend's daughters, a 7 year old, was telling me the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. An elderly woman was stood near the end of the path and as we got to her I said, "Thank you," for waiting for us.
"You could have walked a bit faster," she grumbled. I couldn't fucking believe it. I could have mentioned my injured Achilles. I could have mentioned that I was with a little seven year old kid who was probably at top speed. I could have told her to fuck right off.
I didn't.
When she said "You could have walked a bit faster," in that miserable, entitled voice you often get in Hale and Altrincham I simply said, "We couldn't, actually, but thanks for waiting."
As I walked past she continued to moan at me.
I will put money on her being a Tory cunt.
Altrincham? Defo a Tory. She'll be dead soon if that's any consolation.

touchingcloth

What was she waiting for?

I shat on a car bonnet in Hale once. Maybe try that in revenge.

Pijlstaart

You can divide society up in a very Ayn Randian way into fast walkers and slow walkers. The slow walkers are of low character, they will die younger, I can tell, you can do what you like to them as they'll never catch you and I reckon this old bat had you down splat. Pin a rosette on her. I've been known to overtake joggers, it's the only thing that makes me like myself and I now never have to look forward as there is nothing in front of me, I look back at those behind me, magnanimous and gurning.

easytarget


BlodwynPig


Jockice

#17
Ah yes. Bet she's related to the woman who ostentatiously held open a door I was going through on crutches and then complained about the time it took me to get past her. All fine, apart from the fact I didn't ask her to hold the door open and the whole thing took about 30 seconds. She was obviously an extremely important person though. I shouldn't have just said 'thanks.' I should have bowed as well.

I have plenty of anecdotes like this you know. That's just the most recent one. Available soon in my autobiography, People Are Fucking Weird But Some Are Also Fucking Cunts.

wooders1978

Why didn't you wait for her if you can't walk that fast though?

Icehaven

She was only waiting to ensure she didn't have to get too close to anyone when passing, not out of any actual consideration for you. If it wasn't for Covid she'd probably have barged through you all pushing the children over as she went.

Jockice

Quote from: wooders1978 on April 10, 2021, 10:52:31 AM
Why didn't you wait for her if you can't walk that fast though?

Me? Because she was going through the door in the opposite direction, saw me approaching and pulled it wide open with an  'I'm being incredibly helpful to this poor helpless disabled person' expression on her face. And then made her snidey little comment as I went past just to try and ensure that I knew she was much better and more important than me. Which was (as these things usually are) said in a voice just loud enough for me but nobody else to hear so that if I did say something back it would look like the disabled weirdo having a go at the nice person who was only trying to help.

Not me? Dunno.

kalowski

Quote from: wooders1978 on April 10, 2021, 10:52:31 AM
Why didn't you wait for her if you can't walk that fast though?
Me? We were walking at a fairly normal pace, for a seven year old. And on reflection I realise it was Bowdon, so even more Tory than Hale!

Kankurette

Quote from: Jockice on April 10, 2021, 09:13:02 AM
Ah yes. Bet she's related to the woman who ostentatiously held open a door I was going through on crutches and then complained about the time it took me to get past her. All fine, apart from the fact I didn't ask her to hold the door open and the whole thing took about 30 seconds. She was obviously an extremely important person though. I shouldn't have just said 'thanks.' I should have bowed as well.

I have plenty of anecdotes like this you know. That's just the most recent one. Available soon in my autobiography, People Are Fucking Weird But Some Are Also Fucking Cunts.
It's a shame you're not allowed to lamp ableists with crutches. It should be legal.

Jockice

Not only legal, it should be encouraged. I once bent one of mine rather badly hitting it against a lamp-post after being insulted. I was just imagining it was that person's head.

Sebastian Cobb

The only thing that seriously pissed me off when I had crutches were bus drivers who were all smiles as you got on the bus but then pulled away when you were a millimetre beyond their cab and quite obviously not near a seat or often even a bar to grab onto.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: kalowski on April 09, 2021, 10:06:23 PMelderly woman

1. Elderly people have less time so it's more precious, get a move on.
2. Elderly people give less of a fuck about pleasantries etc as they have less time left.
3. Elderly people know how their life turned out and they might not be happy with it.
4. Elderly people have more ailments, aches, pains and knocks.
5. Being elderly isn't that great at the best of times.


Are you getting the picture? Is it sinking in?

Do you understand?

wooders1978

Quote from: Jockice on April 10, 2021, 11:36:21 AM
Me? Because she was going through the door in the opposite direction, saw me approaching and pulled it wide open with an  'I'm being incredibly helpful to this poor helpless disabled person' expression on her face. And then made her snidey little comment as I went past just to try and ensure that I knew she was much better and more important than me. Which was (as these things usually are) said in a voice just loud enough for me but nobody else to hear so that if I did say something back it would look like the disabled weirdo having a go at the nice person who was only trying to help.

Not me? Dunno.

Not you, mate

wooders1978

Quote from: kalowski on April 10, 2021, 11:54:35 AM
Me? We were walking at a fairly normal pace, for a seven year old. And on reflection I realise it was Bowdon, so even more Tory than Hale!

I dunno, if some old bag reckons you were moving slow, you probably were, she didn't know you had a dodgy heal, presumably, or she did and fancied sticking the boot in

Fambo Number Mive

Even if the person waiting did think the OP was moving a bit slowly, she should have kept her views to herself. People can walk as slowly as they like.

Jockice