Sad news about Nikki Grahame cw: eating disorders

[JaDanketies]

I think mocking a death from anorexia would be generally viewed by the CAB consensus as tasteless punching down. Although death is the great equaliser. Nikki Grahame and the murdered billionaire are both on an equal level now - horizontal, 6ft deep.

[Chedney Honks]

I think mocking a death from anorexia would be generally viewed by the CAB consensus as tasteless punching down.

And yet...no condemnation.

[tourism]

actually I've been condemning them

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Anorexia is just such an awful way to go. I feel sad when I think about the death of Karen Carpenter and I've probably listened to The Carpenters deliberately once. It's like a mental health problem that leads to a lifelong suicide and it's very hard to understand what goes through the minds of its sufferers. And obviously she battled against it but never succeeded. And then there's the whole lockdown exacerbating mental health problems angle.

True.

'Karen Carpenter plays the Elephant Man,' is still a funny Emo Philips joke, though.

[JaDanketies]

you'd be marking yourself as an easily-baited troll victim if you started posting about how you were upset about Retinend's comments tho.

Reminds me of once when the clubs threw everyone out at 2am once and I was perhaps an underaged drinker if not only just 18. I shouted out

Spoiler alert

"what's red and crawls up your leg - a homesick abortion"

[close]

(c/w for pregnancy-related trauma) and then some guy came over and started a physical fight with me because I had upset and offended him (because of some story relating to his sister and a difficult pregnancy or a miscarriage or something). 

Fortunately I knew a lot of people who were waiting around outside the club and he got pulled off me and given a quick kicking. But I realised that  I could've potentially mocked someone's pregnancy tragedy because I was a drunk attention-seeker, and in an alternative dimension, I could have earned a well-deserved whooping for it. I mean really I was apologetic and trying to diffuse the situation, so I don't think it would've been justifiable for him to assault me, but it was certainly a foreseeable risk - as was upsetting someone.

I guess long story short, the moral is that you don't really know who here is mourning the loss of their loved one from anorexia, or who has a family member going through this struggle and who would feel that their tragedy was being laughed at.

not me tho so idgaf

[Chedney Honks]

Retinend was just beautifully revealing a hypocrisy and inconsistency.

[tourism]

'you lot think it's really great when an elderly billionaire gets knifed dead but not so jubilant when someone in her 30s starves herself to death because of our culture' is a corker tbf

[Chedney Honks]

No, not that, you're seeing the comments from a different angle. It doesn't matter.

[tourism]

soz

[TrenterPercenter]

Fuck awareness.

Arguably awareness makes the problem worse by distracting from the seriously ill (in favour of "issues" and "difficulties").

I think I might not be having a great Monday morning and the above might not be an entirely balanced view.

Hmmm this a really difficult issue that I've always struggled with; i.e. do Will's and Kate "awareness" raising of MH actually translate into more funding or are these vanity projects in which people can "think" something is being done.  My gut feeling is like Z one of anger, but practically how does not raising awareness  help? it doesn't and especially when you consider part of Early Intervention is reliant on getting people to present to services before they end up coming into services via crisis routes (so you need an informed public). 

The problem of course is most of those people tasked with raising awareness are reluctant to be political an ask the serious questions about underfunding.  Funnily someone very much involved in ED who did (who i've met and is 100% the real deal and a brilliant advocate for MH and especially young women) was Natasha Devon; and she was quite famously hired and then fired by the government when she pointed out that they needed to do more than treat MH care as a vanity project.

[An tSaoi]

I get the "tasteless" joke, but I don't get the "Grahame" joke.

edit: I was about to say "Can anyone enlighten me?", and then I realised that sounds like a bad joke too.

[Kankurette]

FWIW, my mum was anorexic, so I think that's why it's upsetting me so much. She was over it by the time she had me, it was when she was a teenager and a lot of it was because she had a chaotic home life and it was her way of exerting control. She was a bit of an overachiever at school, as was another woman I knew who had it, classic profile. She's a Manics fan and 4st 7lb got to her, a lot. She also used to give me and my brother shit about our weight all the time, though she's calmed down on that front - being with a man who is kind to her and doesn't care about her weight helps (unlike my last stepdad who was a cunt and hated fat women). I've had problems with bulimia myself, but thankfully it never got dangerous.

There but for the grace of G-d, etc.

Fuck awareness.

Arguably awareness makes the problem worse by distracting from the seriously ill (in favour of "issues" and "difficulties").

I think I might not be having a great Monday morning and the above might not be an entirely balanced view.

Nope, you're right and you should say it, although I'm also having a rotten day.

[ImmaculateClump]

I'd have to see her most recent bank statement before I made a joke, I'm afraid.

[Kankurette]

I probably shouldn't be posting personal stuff in this thread.

ETA: I didn't find that millionaire guy's death particularly funny tbh. Or upsetting. I probably should have, but eh.

[Retinend]

I get the "tasteless" joke, but I don't get the "Grahame" joke.

edit: I was about to say "Can anyone enlighten me?", and then I realised that sounds like a bad joke too.

like "1 gram" - Grahame, gram.

[An tSaoi]

Oh it's the American pronunciation. That makes the joke even worse.

[Retinend]

I was going for quantity, not quality.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Nikki Grave mmm?

[Mr_Simnock]

I wonder if they will use a snooker cue case as her coffin

[poo]

this is better than HSArt is it

[Blue Jam]

"raising awareness" is code for "doing fuck-all", and popular because it costs a lot less than funding research and treatment.

Prostate cancer is a good example. Raising awareness of a disease where the main risk factor is age, where the symptoms are identical to common signs of ageing, where there is nothing a man can do to reduce his chances of getting it (beyond dying early), and for which a man can't self-examine and there are no effective screening methods. Fat lot of good raising awareness is going to do.

Things like the Movember Foundation are all well and good, but they'd be better off funding research than "awareness".

[Sebastian Cobb]

If you're raising funds there's also the expectation that you pass the funds on somewhere.

The whole point of charities that 'raise awareness' is their running costs conveniently match the amount of cash donated.

[Blue Jam]

For what it's worth I think Everyman is a more worthy cause than Movember, in case anyone was looking for a men's charity to support. CALM and The Samaritans too if we want to get into men's mental health, they do at least provide helplines.

[Blue Jam]

Hmmm this a really difficult issue that I've always struggled with; i.e. do Will's and Kate "awareness" raising of MH actually translate into more funding or are these vanity projects in which people can "think" something is being done.  My gut feeling is like Z one of anger, but practically how does not raising awareness  help? it doesn't and especially when you consider part of Early Intervention is reliant on getting people to present to services before they end up coming into services via crisis routes (so you need an informed public). 

I'd say with something like mental health, working to break stigmas might be a better place to focus. I'm a child of the 90's and remember when anorexia was called "The Slimming Disease" and thought of as something vain and stupid teenage girls got from being in thrall to Kate Moss. Things seem a little better now thankfully but I do wonder if changing attitudes among the general population is part of the solution, something more likely to encourage sufferers seek help than just telling sufferers to get help.

I'm no expert here, just chiming in with my experience as a 90's kid.

[Zetetic]

Prostate cancer is a good example. ... Fat lot of good raising awareness is going to do.

Although given the extent to which prostate cancer already mostly kills people who are quite to really old, I'm not sure that funding research or treatment is a fantastic alternative in that case. Awareness is probably worse though in virtue of overtreatment.

[JaDanketies]

I always thought that prostate cancer was nothing to worry about. Old guys moan about their prostates a lot but I'd heard prostate cancer was slow-moving and you usually died of something else. So when my grandad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I wasn't overly concerned.

It's stage four now and he's going to die of cancer very shortly. Tumours in his spine and all over the show, radiotherapy and chemo and all of that. My mum messaged me yesterday to tell me to go round and see him very asap because he is very unwell. His great-grandson and I are gonna see him tomorrow. Last time I went round I thought it might be the final time I saw him. He fell asleep about half an hour into my visit. Classic grandy.

Was thinking of my wedding speech a few days ago and I thought of a few cracks about my grandad, who is exceptionally unlikely to be there cos he'll be dead. In the spirit of this thread, I'll share these jokes about a guy you've never heard of with you.

Grandy also a patriarch. If I were a pensioner with no sense of smell, I'd be less discreet about farting

Kinda the grandfather of a story book, singing 50 year old songs to his grandkids, making crafts like a garage and a rocking horse for me and my brothers and plenty more for his other grandkids, creating some beautiful pieces that will be treasured for any lifetimes. And I can see that his spirit is there in his son Mxxx too and in many of his grandsons. Not me though

Sounds a little sexist with that patriarchal lineage there, but Grandy was never one to make his own dinner

[TrenterPercenter]

"raising awareness" is code for "doing fuck-all", and popular because it costs a lot less than funding research and treatment.

Prostate cancer is a good example. Raising awareness of a disease where the main risk factor is age, where the symptoms are identical to common signs of ageing, where there is nothing a man can do to reduce his chances of getting it (beyond dying early), and for which a man can't self-examine and there are no effective screening methods. Fat lot of good raising awareness is going to do.

Things like the Movember Foundation are all well and good, but they'd be better off funding research than "awareness".

Yes but raising awareness might get a man to a doctors and having a PSA test earlier than they might (I'm due to have my first as my old man had prostate cancer so I'm elevated risk - disappointed as no finger up the bum anymore).  Is the PSA not an effective screen then?

[Zetetic]

Certainly not if you take into account overtreatment, I believe (and that's without a serious push on it).

(Arguably mass breast screening is on a knife-edge for this, and the initial case in terms of years-lost is a lot more compelling.)

[TrenterPercenter]

I'd say with something like mental health, working to break stigmas might be a better place to focus. I'm a child of the 90's and remember when anorexia was called "The Slimming Disease" and thought of as something vain and stupid teenage girls got from being in thrall to Kate Moss. Things seem a little better now thankfully but I do wonder if changing attitudes among the general population is part of the solution, something more likely to encourage sufferers seek help than just telling sufferers to get help.

I'm no expert here, just chiming in with my experience as a 90's kid.

Yes but early intervention is absolutely key to outcomes in two severe mental health conditions; eating disorders and psychosis; there is frankly lots of research on this; we know about critical periods and onset; we just need to get people into services early and have people that can be treated with effective treatments (and involve families as well in treatment plans); awareness does come into this quite a bit; it might not be the whole foundation of what is going on (you still need service design and treatment) but you still need to do this to catch things early otherwise we just have patients arriving at services with embedded and severe illnesses.

[TrenterPercenter]

Certainly not if you take into account overtreatment, I believe (and that's without a serious push on it).

(Arguably mass breast screening is on a knife-edge for this, and the initial case in terms of years-lost is a lot more compelling.)

Great so I'll ask for a good fingering then as well!