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March 28, 2024, 02:43:15 PM

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Covid 19 sexual fetish

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, April 11, 2021, 09:34:08 AM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!

Is there any news about whether this fetish exists? Presumably it does, presumably somewhere out there someone called Terry has lined up all his pva glue pots in a row for the next ministerial briefing likely to declare a treasured circuit breaker lockdown.

The November Tier system, that was presumably extremely sexy to people, the taboo of wanking hard in Craven while you're not allowed to travel any further than the boundary line at Boyes in Ilkley. The invention of new Tier 4. Elite tier. Black Tier. SWAT Tier. Pretty sexy. Fondant tier.

Long Covid, sexy? Not got the energy for rabid bestial fuckfests so subdued for weeks in the fartbox, trading gases with Donald and the lads from the Stow on the World GlansKru. Sexy for some but not all.

Mind the waterfalls of jizz cascading from the upper windows of Northallerton as the town Hornblower announces a stringent curfew because of human-to-rat transmission in the Clitway (notorious local underworld).

Antibacterial gel, the slime, the sensations, the scents. Cleansing one's meatus of horrid virus in seconds. Blakeney's 'Dippers' have taken this on to new levels, you can usually find them on Thursday's jeb-deep in litres of gunk. They use a pig trough near the Crab Shed.

Needles, just mention them and already there are cohorts of 'inject-erect' adherents at your door, like pensioners at a closing down sale of Allders in the heady days of gone. Moderna, Pfizer, Sputnik, everyone's asking the big questions: which needle is longest, which one gives you the longest biggest most fantastical hardon, which one makes you do the most viscous waxen gloy? Anecdotally, it seems to boil down to personal preference and what you had for dinner. Some people recommend dandelions. Do rodents know something we don't?

Mask wearing. Humans have fetishised masks since time immemorial, which is posh for Ages. If you want to make a redundant desk auditor from Loughborough do 18 k-balls in whatever his idea of pants are, just don a surgical mask in the local Londis around 11.30. Mask wearing also carries with it secretive and subtle meanings, each design and sporting intended to convey coded messages to those in the know:

- Black mask = I am horny as fuck and ready for sex
- Red mask = Rail me in the bloodzones, coronamaggot
- Purple mask = I had an erection an hour ago and used it to make arcs of sperm from my balls and penis, but if you give me 25 minutes, I think i will be ready to do it all again
- Mask below nose = I am a wretched unconscionable dragee of biowaste who needs wiping off the map

Why is Covid 19 sexy in some countries but not others?

UK🇬🇧 - Seen as very sexy indeed
Spain 🇪🇸 - The 7pm erection curfew actually had the opposite effect, turning them horny as all fucking fuck at the thought of getting illegal boners after the prescribed deadline. In Valladolid epic cum fiestas were broken up by police. The local Cum Kingpin Juan Vasquez was brutalised by police, who tbf were quite horny at the time too and one of them rage-gelded a bank clerk.
Brazil 🇧🇷 - Not seen as at all a horny thing, they aren't angry or horny, just sad :(

Shielding. Luridly sexual sadomasochistic terminology, balls filling with gametes. This is no more than cuckolding. It may not seem like your cirrhotic Aunt with her oddly cheesey knee joints being trapped in a maisonette for 18 months is sexy in the slightest, but ask Bernard from 'the estate' and he has plans for her discoloured skin folds and her medically recognisable arse hole. Shielding.

Distancing. 2 metres or more. It is difficult to understate just how much this government policy drives people into a cataclysm of masturberial excelsis. If you reduce it to 1 metre they start complaining about dilettantes and scenesters ruining the subculture. One side effect of the distancing fetish scene is they can't pay for anything in cash without auto-soiling their dungarees with cockcack.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

It's also a serious question, I can't find information about this online because all search engines bring up are news articles about whether or not Covid has got people a bit more into fisting and dildos or how BDSM clubs are doing now no one can meet up there anymore to hammer nails into your testicles and singe paedo on your arse with bespoke branding irons.

bgmnts

I've genuinely met someone who developed a mask fetish during the covid crisis so they like to wear a mask while shaggng.

Twit 2

My friend tells me that COVID-themed porn is a thing on porn sites. It seems feasible.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Twit 2 on April 11, 2021, 10:15:24 AM
My friend tells me that COVID-themed porn is a thing on porn sites. It seems feasible.

Is it just sexy nurses with masks though? Can you ask your friend again?

Here's a quick and easy guide to make sure you're wearing the correct colour mask


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Better Midlands on April 11, 2021, 10:25:32 AM
Here's a quick and easy guide to make sure you're wearing the correct colour mask



Magnificent.

Norton Canes

What are the footnotes for orange and purple? We must know!

Norton Canes

Woah! Turns out it's a bit more complicated...



Norton Canes

Well I don't mind saying, this morning has taken an unexpected direction

buttgammon

Latex facemasks and the like already existed; anecdotally, online shops that sell fetish gear have way more of them than they used to, and it seems that medical fetish type things are advertised more prominently on those websites too. This stuff really isn't my cup of tea (thankfully - imagine the state of constant arousal some of these people must be in when they go shopping) but just from observation, these things are around, and it doesn't take much of a stretch to imagine it becoming a covid fetish.

Cuellar

There are those videos of people taking off their masks in supermarkets etc. and revealing a dild down their throats.

imitationleather

Quote from: Cuellar on April 11, 2021, 01:38:19 PM
There are those videos of people taking off their masks in supermarkets etc. and revealing a dild down their throats.

Proof?

Cuellar


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Better Midlands on April 11, 2021, 10:25:32 AM
Here's a quick and easy guide to make sure you're wearing the correct colour mask



Ok so I guess I'm into scat as the background of my mask is brown, but what does a repeating pattern of white pirates on the foreground mean?


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Colour blind people at serious risk of wanting a cuddle and ending up hooking up with a bestialete.

Fambo Number Mive

That list posted by Norton Canes is very comprehensive but ignores gerontophilia.

You'd need a lot of handkerchiefs if you had a suit, smoked cigars, are a spanker and want head. It all sounds very complicated.

Kelvin

I like the fact that "safe sex" is distinct from all the others.

You can either have a boring sex life or AIDS.

Rizla

You could work a great Persil advert out of that hankie code.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Cuellar on April 11, 2021, 01:38:19 PM
There are those videos of people taking off their masks in supermarkets etc. and revealing a dild down their throats.

Huge if true.

jobotic

Quote from: Better Midlands on April 11, 2021, 10:25:32 AM
Here's a quick and easy guide to make sure you're wearing the correct colour mask



All the masks are blue.



Mister Six

An entire generation of currently pubescent teens is absolutely going to have a face mask fetish off the back of this pandemic.

thenoise

I love a plain black mask on a nice lady,makes her look like a comic book character. In a good way. Not sure whether she is going to rescue me from the bad guys or kick me in the face, but either way it's a yes from me!

Those clear plastic visors have potential, wish they caught on a bit more tbh. Imagine doing a big spunk all over one. The lucky recipient gets to enjoy a facial without the bothersome clean up.

poo

quite orned up be the mask thing

idunnosomename

Quote from: Norton Canes on April 11, 2021, 11:18:27 AM
Woah! Turns out it's a bit more complicated...



going into a gay biker bar and unfolding your handy print out of this to compare to hankies so you dont end up with a dude who sucks cum out of condoms again

thenoise

Not sure what the point is in black/white stripe (right), I mean,surely you can tell whether someone is wearing a black top?!?

flotemysost

Pretty broad margin for error in the white/cream shades, surely. Also what if you dropped it/it fell out and you drunkenly stuffed it back in the wrong pocket?

I do like the logic of the picnic-blanket-like gingham one signifying park sex, though.

Quote from: thenoise on April 12, 2021, 02:28:45 PM
Not sure what the point is in black/white stripe (right), I mean,surely you can tell whether someone is wearing a black top?!?

Black as in ethnic background and top as in fucker rather than fuckee, I'd guess.