Happy 94th Birthday, Mort Sahl (Funny Quotes)

[MortSahlFan]

Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, WE threw an American in jail to show the Russians they couldn't get away with it.

My life needs editing.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform, but not while they're alive.

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

I don't believe in good or bad people, I believe in the better parts of people.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

A political satire's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

I don't think fascism is worth dying for.

The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.

This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 300 million and the two top guys are Trump and Biden. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

I'm for capital punishment. How else are they going to learn?

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Haha

[The Mollusk]

I guess you had to be there.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

What about his most controversial quotes? Did he ever say anything really revolting?

[MortSahlFan]

What about his most controversial quotes? Did he ever say anything really revolting?

Revolting? Na... Maybe some jokes about the CIA, at least that's how he was described back then. I just saw one stand-up show where a woman said the problem with men was that they listened to their penis... "My penis never lied to me", Mort replied.

Which is funny, since he was considered the leader of a new "sick comedy"

[Dusty Substance]

Wikipedia says May 11th.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Well he is the King of Comedy, so he gets two birthdays, like the Queen.

[madhair60]

These would work better with some pictures of Minions

[up_the_hampipe]

Still convinced MortSahlFan is a troll account.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

"I'm for capital punishment. How else are they going to learn?"

[MortSahlFan]

Well he is the King of Comedy, so he gets two birthdays, like the Queen.

Thanks for saving me.

[McChesney Duntz]

What about his most controversial quotes? Did he ever say anything really revolting?

I feel like we've been down this road before, and it really just isn't done to pillory people for things they said 50(!!) years ago, but yeah, he had his share of revolting opinions:

https://www.splicetoday.com/politics-and-media/that-time-a-critic-destroyed-a-satirist-on-tv

To find myself on the same side of ANYTHING as the repugnant John Simon is rather galling, I must say. But don't mind me, I'm still a bit bitter that this guy managed to outlive Lenny Bruce by fifty-five years and counting - but the work and legacy of Mr. L.A. Schneider is a whole other kettle of junkie worms, not relevant to this particular discussion....

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Just read that. Bloody hell.

[Dusty Substance]

Well he is the King of Comedy, so he gets two birthdays, like the Queen.

In that case, Happy Birth-month to Mort!

Amazing to think that he was something of a punchline in the 80s and 90s when it came to old age and, yet, he's alive in 20 bloody 21.

See also Mel Brooks, Bob Newhart and Tom Lehrer. And, to a lesser extent, W**dy All*n.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Let's just hope he doesn't die before his real birthday of 11th May, otherwise this thread could get really awkward.
Don't die on us Morto.

[MortSahlFan]

Let's just hope he doesn't die before his real birthday of 11th May, otherwise this thread could get really awkward.
Don't die on us Morto.

lmao

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

This Mort Sahl coil.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I've just realised that Mort Sahl is an anagram of Raoul Moat. Sort of.

[Pranet]

Talking of comedians in their 90s, it seems it was Tom Lehrer's birthday last Friday. I don't know if he has any questionable views on women.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Wikipedia says May 11th.

Right, let's try again.

Happy birthday, old cunt.

[MortSahlFan]

Right, let's try again.

Happy birthday, old cunt.

:)