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Nightmare housemates

Started by GoblinAhFuckScary, April 12, 2021, 12:28:54 AM

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GoblinAhFuckScary

(removed by request)

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

I wish I could relate, but I am a rich bitch who can live solo.

GoblinAhFuckScary

That comes across as me being needlessly passive aggressive doesn't it

bgmnts

Had one housemate and met him once in 6 months. Was fucking ace.

I hope you find a new place soon!

DrGreggles

I've got a lodger, but that's working out rather well.
Mainly because he's hardly set foot in the place in the last year.

Hope he's back soon though, he loves gardening and mine's starting to look shit.

idunnosomename

wish people would just clean the bin to be honest.


i'll leave it at that

GoblinAhFuckScary

Garden! Garden! Closest I've had is Mark E Smith yelling garden garden garden!

Dex Sawash


Would like an smbh housemate update

mothman

Quote from: Dex Sawash on April 12, 2021, 12:58:23 AM
Would like an smbh housemate update

There was a thread, and, yes, SMBH's travails were the stuff of legends - or nightmares...

Icehaven

I lived in one for three and a half years in my late 30s and yep it was horrible. I won't regurgitate the whole saga here as I mentioned it at length at the time but basically I got physically attacked by a male house'mate' in the middle of the night because he was annoyed that I'd put a sheet to dry on a radiator. He was completely fucking nuts and (unbeknownst to me) was in the process of being evicted anyway as he'd already caused two other people to move out and was being a total ballache to the letting agents, constantly bombarding them with complaints and insults. Long story short the police did fuck all but he moved out a few weeks later anyway.
That was the worst thing obviously but all the everyday awfulness of sharing happened too, the bathroom and kitchen constantly being occupied when you want to use them, there always being piles of dirty washing up left in the hope/expectation someone else will do it, food theft, doors getting broken down at 2am by people who forgot their keys, entire families coming to visit for whole weekends, rotting food left in fridges, laundry theft, people taking showers at midnight and singing loudly, your glasses and plates getting smashed or going missing, the list is literally endless.

That was the kind of large (7 bedroom) houseshare where you don't really know or mix with the other tenants though, we sought to avoid each other as much as possible really and the best time I had there was just after the madman moved out and there were 3 empty rooms for a few months, it was almost like having the place to myself sometimes. I imagine it's very different - and has very different problems too - in the kind of share where you're either already friends or you become so. I think that's far more likely when you're younger though, and most people aren't cut out to houseshare past their 20s, particularly not with strangers. I think I'd rather live in a tent than share again.

spaghetamine

Until about a month ago I was living in an incredibly claustrophobic house share with a couple who fought constantly, things got rather sour towards the end and I''m no longer on speaking terms with either of them. I truly didn't realize how depressed the whole situation was making me until I'd moved out but it honestly feels like it's taken years off me. Thankfully - and without wanting to tempt fate too much - I'm currently living in the most mellow house share I've ever had the good fortune to be involved with, generally they are shit though so you have my sincere condolences.

flotemysost

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on April 12, 2021, 12:28:54 AM
Once again I'm on the prowl for new places again and it's just... agh it's interminable this isn't it. Wish I was one of them rich bitches who could live solo.

I've just gone from living solo (just-about-rich-enough-to-afford-living-solo-for-a-while-thanks-to-lockdown-and-a-temporary-secondment-at-work bitch here) to back in a flatshare. New flatmates seem really nice, but I'm sure there's inevitably going to be some stuff that we're incompatible on.

You absolutely have my sympathies, it can be stressful sharing a living space with other people at the best of times, but over the past year it's become a really intense situation which is also really not what anyone signed up for when they moved into whatever living situation they were in back in March last year.

I've now moved twice since the first lockdown, which is becoming a bit of a running joke among my colleagues (as I'd also lived in quite a lot of different flatshares prior to that) - but I'm sorry, there's not a huge amount else I can change in my life at the moment, and living space/surroundings have taken on such a big role in everyone's mental wellbeing at the moment (especially if you work from home), so why would I not take the opportunity to improve that where I can?

I've been lucky to not have had any really bad situations, I'm still friends or at least on friendly terms with most people I've lived with over the years, but I think people who are homeowners or who can rent with a partner sometimes forget that people in flatshares aren't necessarily all bezzie mates cooking together and hanging out 24/7, it's not exactly like most people in that situation have a choice.

Also, I hope this doesn't sound too wanky as I appreciate I was really incredibly privileged to be able to live on my own, and don't get me wrong, the first month or two were like a breath of fresh air after years of living in flatshares - but during lockdown it definitely got pretty lonely and bleak at times, especially in the winter. Genuinely started losing the plot a bit. Would fucking love it if I could do so during "normal" times but I'm never going to be able to afford that, not in London anyway.

Best of luck to you anyway, hope you find some cool and compatible people to live with and hope your current setup isn't unbearable in the meantime.

Kankurette

I live alone, luckily. I had a really bad experience with housemates in my second year of uni and I never want to go through that again, and I hate sharing my space.

Thomas

Old housemate used to leave spoons on the edge of the sink instead of washing them. As it was impossible to talk to him like a human being, I decided to let them pile up in the hope he might realise it was a problem.

Eventually he proudly noted 'wow, look how many spoons there are!' as he added another to his collection. Lost cause.

peanutbutter

I remember the first few months I was living alone I was blown away by how much free time I had. Having only lived with randomers between uni and living alone I seemed to be investing a huge chunk of my time into avoiding the other people.

Kankurette

Quote from: Thomas on April 12, 2021, 10:30:28 PM
Old housemate used to leave spoons on the edge of the sink instead of washing them. As it was impossible to talk to him like a human being, I decided to let them pile up in the hope he might realise it was a problem.

Eventually he proudly noted 'wow, look how many spoons there are!' as he added another to his collection. Lost cause.
One of my housemates in second year never washed her stuff and borrowed everyone else's, and one time I found one of my plates in her room, with a sweet wrapper stuck to it with congealed food, and it took 2 washes to get the bastard thing clean. I was not happy.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Worst housemate ever was a shitty little rat Brummie cunt who started off on his very first day by being overheard on the phoney describing my housemate as a 'massive black girl' and me a 'nosy cunt' (I had committed the sin of introducing myself and tried getting a conversation going).

After we agreed to let him have a party with his mates it was quickly obvious that he had extremely dodgy shitty mates and had all started talking fuck knows what without us even having been tipped off about that in advance.

There was standard issues: loud noise from the room after 1am every night despite us all working and not being students. Weird stuff like bread being in the toilet.. Who puts bread crusts in the toilet?

We then got burgled because he had left the front door ajar. I only lost an Xbox 360 but my friend lost loads of her jewellery and she made to get out of there. We asked the letting agency to get the guy out Asap.

Then it came to a head as I woke up one morning to find the glass panel above the front door smashed through and fresh air seeping through the front room. Door ajar again. Then I noticed quite alarming smears of blood up the wall. The fucking stain had got off his face, forgotten his keys and broken into our own house. He had actually crawled up through the glass at the top, injuring himself really badly, then proceeded to bleed all over the house without cleaning anything up. The shower curtain was Psycho level blood gulch insane. I have no idea how he didn't die or wasn't hospitalised.

I nearly, for the first time in my life, actually kicked the shit out of the cunt before realising how far that would get me. We made the letting agents lives a misery but it was still another 6 weeks before he finally fucked off out of our lives for good.

I would wish he was dead but he probably is now.

Paul Calf

Stepdaughter and her boyfriend are staying here at the moment and as we only have one toilet / bathroom it's bringing back a lot of the frustrations of communal living. That's why I'm sitting here on a work Zoom call filthy in yesterdays clothes and sweat.

Ham Bap

Living in a houseshare can be an 'experience'. Ive only had 1 bad one where one person was the issue.
He wasnt a bad person just went a bit mental. Only washed himself once a month and that was in the bath and used to leave his grey bath water/gloop in the bath.
Stopped paying the rent/or was months late for it as he couldnt manage his money. We paid collectively, wasnt individual contracts. One time had the landlord question why I was buying beer as he wasnt getting full rent. Nothing to do with me.

We also used to have house parties forced upon us as up to 80 people (not an exaggeration) used to descend on us from the pub on a Friday/Saturday night. (This was 15 years ago, im 40 now. Wish i could go back in time and do one of those parties this weekend tbh)
But it becomes too much when youre not out on a weekend and 80 people land at the door and 30 are still there by the next evening.

When he stopped paying rent he also stopped paying for heating and electricity. Basically spent all his money on dope and didnt want to spend money on anything else.
Looking back i think he got arsey because i moved to another better paid job whilst he was still stuck in the call centre where we worked. Not my fault i was organised/competent enough to finish university whereas he dropped out after a couple of months because he couldnt manage his life and wanted to smoke dope.

The other housemate was fed up too.
I just ended up finding somewhere else, fired the keys through the letterbox and walked away.
Couldnt take living in a cold house with a dirty maniac and 80 people in the house every weekend.

He's 45 now and back living with his parents. Not fit or competent enough to deal with the world really.

mothman

Quote from: Ham Bap on April 13, 2021, 10:05:54 AM
Not fit or competent enough to deal with the world really.

Mate. This is COOKDANDBOMBD. None of us are.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: mothman on April 13, 2021, 10:21:42 AM
Mate. This is COOKDANDBOMBD. None of us are.

Steady on mate, I've got my own... Erm...

... Jeans

Ham Bap

Quote from: mothman on April 13, 2021, 10:21:42 AM
Mate. This is COOKDANDBOMBD. None of us are.

Too true, I'm not sure anyone is, but I hope we all use soap more than once a month.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Paul Calf on April 13, 2021, 09:47:44 AM
Stepdaughter and her boyfriend are staying here at the moment and as we only have one toilet / bathroom it's bringing back a lot of the frustrations of communal living. That's why I'm sitting here on a work Zoom call filthy in yesterdays clothes and sweat.

Started many Saturday mornings with a piss up the back of the shed when I stayed in a share with one bathroom and the hot water tank in my bedroom.

Mr_Simnock

I've always felt fortunate to now be living in a detached house with just my wife, this thread reminds me how lucky I am

The Mollusk

My worst experience was about six or seven years ago. Main leaseholder was a fucking bizarre prick, first time I met him he was sniffing K out of a frying pan. His housemate worked nights for DHL and when he got home he would sit in the living room smoking weapons grade spliffs, doing bumps of coke and watching marathons of garbage daytime telly. Insane levels of bleakness. They were in with most of the big squat party scenes in London so we'd frequently get after-parties in our living room that lasted anywhere from two to five days, just cunts lying about on the filthy carpet listening to psytrance, sometimes guffawing like apes, other times deathly silent for hours except for the DUGGADUGGADUGGA of the music.

Eventually they moved out - the main guy fucked off to Australia to flee criminal charges against him and became a dreadful meth addict out there, he could genuinely be dead now for all I know/care - and we got a couple of our mates in. Obviously it wasn't quite as bad as before but still, biting your own toenails and then leaving them in a line on the arm of the sofa like a proud little regiment of detritus was less than pleasant. And on approximately three occasions, I walked into the bathroom to see that one of them had managed to get their own shit smeared around the back edge of the toilet seat, as though they'd sat too far back and just cacked all over the fucking plastic. I pulled them up on this and they insisted it could equally have been me. NO I KNOW HOW TO HAVE A FUCKING ACCURATE POO IN A BIG HOLE MATE THANKS.

Ham Bap

Laughing out loud at the inability of someone to shite correctly in a toilet.
It sums up the pain of living with other people and their inability to function with societal norms.

If there was ever a book on living with other people the picture on the front would be that shite caked toilet.

Similar to the toenail story I lived with someone who used to wipe their bogeys/snotters on the living room door.
We only noticed when summer broke and the sun was shining in the front window and the door was glistening.

The Mollusk

Quote from: Ham Bap on April 13, 2021, 11:03:02 AM
Similar to the toenail story I lived with someone who used to wipe their bogeys/snotters on the living room door.
We only noticed when summer broke and the sun was shining in the front window and the door was glistening.

Fucking hell hahaha

The habits of people in their own domicile are absolutely the peak example of what casual day-to-day normalisation can achieve. It's a combo of a couple of things, namely that it's the place where everyone by their own right and admission should be able to feel comfortable, at ease, safe and secure. This in turn leads people to believe they can act however the fuck they want, which in some cases is fine but in others is clearly total fucking hell on earth.

Just walking past my door in my house after a quick rummage up my nose, no harm in me wiping my finger there, this bogey takes up a minuscule and almost indeterminate amount of space on the comparative vastness of this door. Chances of anyone else ever coming into contact with that are slim to none.

Then before you know it, in your subconscious mind the door is your own personal handkerchief and if anyone has a problem with it then that's on them, they should have obviously known this was the arrangement and even if they didn't it should be blatantly obvious this sort of thing happens all the time, it's not an inconvenience, get over it.

I guess being pulled up on this behaviour is like the equivalent of being slapped out of a deep dream where everything happening in the dream felt totally normal and you had no reason to question anything, and then you're suddenly faced with cold, stark reality and the responsibility of being awake is horrible.

non capisco

I'm fixated on the detail in Shoulders' post about someone putting bread in the toilet. If I woke up in the morning and saw bread in the toilet I think I'd conclude that I was having some kind of neurological episode and next thing would be me squeezing the toothpaste tube and a load of bees coming out.

Sebastian Cobb

Oh yeah I lived with one bellend who couldn't even make beans on toast properly. Literally the largest pan in the kitchen so the beans were one layer deep and the hob cranked up to 11 as the juice boiled away.

That was literally the most complex meal they ever attempted. They mostly survived on toast, when they used up all of my butter they moved on to mayonnaise as a spread. They also used to open other people's bread by grabbing the bag from the middle and tearing it. They once announced they were off to the 24 hour shop as I was turning in for the night. In the morning the rubbish next to where they were sat would suggest they'd eaten an entire loaf of bread, a whole bag of grated cheese and a Mars bar.

This obviously didn't give them a particularly fiberous diet, and many mornings I'd have a piss then flush the toilet and have to jump several feet back as they'd blocked the bog, done fuck all about it and the water had drained back down to normal levels overnight.

Pijlstaart

#29
Over 10 years of flatshares, so experienced all the usual, lot of theft, lot of police calls, found a horn of plenty but with shit. One star candidate couldn't find their key and wanted to go out, so propped open the door to the flat, propped open every door to the street and fucked off, and as we were in central liverpool, in popped a friendly neighbourhood junkie to raid the fridge.

Shared a flat with a 50-year old Janitor who was big on drunk cooking, on 3 occasions he'd go to bed mid-cooking and leave me to battle the flames at daybreak. On the most memorable occasion he was in the room at the time, sprawled on the floor, heavyset, bald, homer simpsonesque, apparently oblivious to the smoke, the alarm or my bellowed invective. Like us, the flat across the hall had a mixed attitude to drunk cooking, when one started drunkenly chopping vegetables, the other phoned the police with the phrase "He won't listen to reason and he's got a knife", who, being american, came in guns ablazing, unfortunately to my apartment. 

My personal favourite flatmate tripled the water bill by leaving taps running on full blast, tripled the electricity bill by setting up space heaters, burning the carpet in the process. He denied every step of the way the heaters were the reason, in the end I had to itemise the electricity bill based on use of each appliance in each persons room. He incorrectly assumed the bathroom was a wet-room, unhooking the showerhead to shower in the middle of the floor, he washed with full rolls of toilet paper, he'd use them as loofahs and then splat them down to mark his conquest. Despite generating most of the mess, he constantly complained about the kitchen being filthy, we'd deep clean it for him as he complained to the landlord, eventually discovering he thought the kitchen walls, which were painted magnolia, were actually painted white and had darkened with grime. We discovered his reasoning when he stole a tin of gloss paint intended for skirting boards and tried redecorating with it. He's a mechanic for commercial airlines now, make of that what you will.