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Nightmare housemates

Started by GoblinAhFuckScary, April 12, 2021, 12:28:54 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Pancake

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 13, 2021, 09:39:31 AM
Worst housemate ever was a shitty little rat Brummie cunt who started off on his very first day by being overheard on the phoney describing my housemate as a 'massive black girl' and me a 'nosy cunt' (I had committed the sin of introducing myself and tried getting a conversation going).

After we agreed to let him have a party with his mates it was quickly obvious that he had extremely dodgy shitty mates and had all started talking fuck knows what without us even having been tipped off about that in advance.

There was standard issues: loud noise from the room after 1am every night despite us all working and not being students. Weird stuff like bread being in the toilet.. Who puts bread crusts in the toilet?

We then got burgled because he had left the front door ajar. I only lost an Xbox 360 but my friend lost loads of her jewellery and she made to get out of there. We asked the letting agency to get the guy out Asap.

Then it came to a head as I woke up one morning to find the glass panel above the front door smashed through and fresh air seeping through the front room. Door ajar again. Then I noticed quite alarming smears of blood up the wall. The fucking stain had got off his face, forgotten his keys and broken into our own house. He had actually crawled up through the glass at the top, injuring himself really badly, then proceeded to bleed all over the house without cleaning anything up. The shower curtain was Psycho level blood gulch insane. I have no idea how he didn't die or wasn't hospitalised.

I nearly, for the first time in my life, actually kicked the shit out of the cunt before realising how far that would get me. We made the letting agents lives a misery but it was still another 6 weeks before he finally fucked off out of our lives for good.

I would wish he was dead but he probably is now.

Christ, any insight into what his problem was or are some people just genuinely malfunctioning pricks?

Sebastian Cobb

I had an otherwise nice housemate who didn't have the manners to remove themselves from the lounge when they were having a phonecall that was more than a quick few sentences, that used to do my lid in. I never really have sensitive phone calls but still find somewhere quiet for both privacy and the fact I find it annoying.

I asked a friend why another friend seemed a bit quiet of late (they live nearer each other and are closer) and they said over lockdown they'd got a new partner and somehow managed to have racked up around 20 hours of video calls over about 3 evenings!

Pancake

Quote from: Cuntbeaks on April 13, 2021, 08:32:30 PM
We need a positive houseshare story to balance out these anxiety/mirth inducing horror stories.

Somebody?

Anybody?

Personality I've never even considered it as people are cunts. I would rather live on a starvation diet and have my own place than share with strangers, or worse, people i know.

My brothers first 'flat' in London was a warehouse conversion in Whitechapel, formerly the offices of fledgling Last.fm, the bedrooms were a bunch of hastily erected stud walls, lined with tin foil for some reason, and the owner/landlord was this very pleasant, well to do young man who used to walk around with a wolf pelt draped over his shoulders.

He later fell out the window of a house party in shoreditch and died.

That's about as positive a flatmate story as I can muster.

Jack Shaftoe

Still reeling from moving to a new flat years ago. Flatmate was a friend of a friend, seemed (and was really) very nice. The rent was pretty low and all inclusive, the owner was a very pleasant (and Christian) osteopath who had a surgery downstairs, so you had to be a bit quiet during office hours, but that was okay.

The first week I was there I had the place to myself as the flatmate was on holiday, she got back and I'd settled in nicely. And then it turned out she spent every single evening in the front room from half seven to ten on the phone, and just talking constantly. Over two hours every night and the other person (I assume it was the same every night), never had space to say anything other than 'yes' or 'no' every now and then. Sometimes I wonder if there was anyone there at all. So I ended up spending every single evening in my room playing World of Warcraft, which wasn't all bad, but christ I wished I'd known before I moved in that was the deal.

I absolutely hated her by the end. In fact, she went into hospital, and I realised I could afford to cover the rent for the whole place by myself, so I kiiiiiiind of hoped she might die. Tragically, she didn't. I ended up spending a lot of time up in London with my girlfriend (now wife), so she got really used to having the place to herself and seemed actively annoyed when I got back. Eventually I moved out, and got a place with gf, the end.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: Pancake on May 11, 2021, 10:10:24 AM
Hate to be the guy but WHY did the author persist with someone who shit everywhere and kept tarantulas. NOT BUYING IT.
He explains that he had a sick fascination with seeing how bad it got, he essentially had a one bed apartment for almost nothing and part of him wanted everything to get so bad the outside world would eventually find out and the shit-stashing roommate would be exposed. He says he regrets it now because roommate was clearly mentally ill and he should have alerted his parents much sooner.

The Roofdog

Quote from: Jack Shaftoe on May 11, 2021, 01:05:01 PM
The first week I was there I had the place to myself as the flatmate was on holiday, she got back and I'd settled in nicely. And then it turned out she spent every single evening in the front room from half seven to ten on the phone, and just talking constantly. Over two hours every night and the other person (I assume it was the same every night), never had space to say anything other than 'yes' or 'no' every now and then. Sometimes I wonder if there was anyone there at all. So I ended up spending every single evening in my room playing World of Warcraft, which wasn't all bad, but christ I wished I'd known before I moved in that was the deal.

Flatmates who just never ever leave the house are a total pain in the arse, doubly if they hog the front room, I had one who never once went out in 18 months except to go to work or the shop. He had a girlfriend (from uni because there's no way he'd have met her otherwise) who came round every Friday evening and together they didn't leave the house till Monday morning. Maybe I wouldn't have minded if I hadn't agreed to put my new flatscreen & DVD player in the front room, an absolute rookie mistake, and I think the reason why they decided our front room would be their iso-cube rather than hers. It was the year I discovered the twin joys of running and going to the pub on your own, which overall had a net zero effect on my health.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Haven't really had issues with loud music or dickhead mates or drug dealing in my house share times, most of them have been food bastards.
Giving me the heart shudders by deep frying chicken on a gas hob and spraying oil around the place with hay abandon.
Boiling an egg in a pan and forgetting about it, setting off the smoke alarm and leaving the kitchen with the permeating stench of the blackened former egg husk in a pan.
Towering tupperwares of abandoned furry green pasta.
Putting milk in the recycling.
The horrific maggot/fly infestation I have previously mentioned on here.

My most authoritarian opinion is that some people should be banned from owning their own food.

bgmnts

Quote from: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on May 11, 2021, 05:55:31 PM
Boiling an egg in a pan and forgetting about it, setting off the smoke alarm and leaving the kitchen with the permeating stench of the blackened former egg husk in a pan.

This is quite incredible.

flotemysost

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on May 11, 2021, 09:49:32 AM
I feel your pain flotemysost, one person I live with is constantly on the phone, apart from when his partner visits he seems to be on it all the time, and weirdly for a fifty year old man he sounds like a teenager, always gossiping and whining about people. Luckily I can't hear him from within my room but the second I step outside my door his loud booming voice is ever present, and while most of the time it's from his room in the floor above mine whenever he's in the communal areas he doesn't give a fuck that people are trying to watch tv. As I am an unsociable bastard who spends most of his time in his room it isn't an issue, but everyone else in the house hates the idiot.

That sounds incredibly annoying. In my current situation (and also one of the previous ones) they're speaking in a language I don't understand (other than the odd word), so I suppose it's sort of like white noise to my ears, which is fine. The only part that annoys me is the bogarting of communal areas while they have these never-ending phone calls, I feel like I shouldn't clatter around the kitchen trying to make dinner if they're on the phone in there, but then if I wait til they're done I probably won't eat til midnight.

It's mainly just a bit baffling, especially the being on video calls all the time, whilst they're doing mundane everyday activities that most people probably wouldn't normally want to be doing while on video (eating, tidying, watching TV). Pretty sure my old flatmate used to chat with her mum while she was on the bog. Fair enough I suppose, if your mum's in another a country where the COVID situation is appallingly bad (as was the situation for her last year) then that kind of thing probably doesn't matter.

Quote from: The Roofdog on May 11, 2021, 01:58:53 PM
Flatmates who just never ever leave the house are a total pain in the arse

Yep, I've had several previous (pre-2020) flatmates observe that I was out most of the time, but now the tables have turned and because I'm the only one in my current flat who works from home, I feel a bit bad as if one of the others has a day off during the week, they won't get the place to themselves as I'll be there yapping away on a Zoom meeting. Obviously that's not my fault, but I don't want to be the person to instill that awful skin-crawling "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO SOMEWHERE?!" feeling in anyone else.




touchingcloth

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on April 14, 2021, 12:35:22 AM
YES

video above is excellent recapping of it

Anyone remember the shit lasagne? NSFW!

I got three pages into that but bailed when I saw the twentieth occurrence of "refridgerator".

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: flotemysost on May 11, 2021, 12:29:50 AM
OK, so this is hardly nightmare criteria (there's no poo or wanking involved in this story, FYI), it's not even a bad thing really, but has anyone had one of these flatmates who's CONSTANTLY on the phone?

I had one once when it was *the* phone, not his phone, in the early 90s when I was a student. He had the bedroom next to where the phone was in the hall, so you'd often need to make a call and see the cable snaking under his bedroom door, where it would remain for fucking ages.

GoblinAhFuckScary

#101
(removed by request)

flotemysost

Really sorry to hear that Goblin, what a shit situation. Sorry if this is an obvious question, but when you say she's "forcing you out" - I assume she can't actually do this in any legal sense, and you mean she's doing so by means of bullying and making life hell for you there so you have no other option than to leave?

Is there any way of raising this with the landlord/agency, if you haven't been able to do so already, and if you have the mental energy for it? I realise landlords and agencies aren't exactly known for their sympathetic, humanist tendencies, but if your name is on the contract then it would need to be formally agreed by all parties that you're providing the necessary notice, finding a new tenant etc. (I know you know all this already), they can't just boot you out. And if you can't actually afford to do so then she really hasn't got any way of forcing you, surely.

Someone on here mentioned a renter's union which I forget the name of, and I know "the other CAB" is often suggested as an option for advice in situations like this. I can't see anything specifically on Shelter's website about bad/dangerous situations with other tenants, but they might be able to offer advice too as it must be such an incredibly common situation. Also disability or trans charities - I know these organisations are generally woefully underfunded but again I'm sure they will have helped people in similar situations.

Really sorry again to hear it and I hope you're able to manage sharing a roof with this toxic person in the meantime.

peanutbutter

#103
[quote and reply removed]

bgmnts

#104
Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on May 15, 2021, 02:15:14 AM
...

Forcing you out, why??

Can you get some help from your partner?

In my five years in the Royal Navy there were plenty of incidents of bad behaviour but I would not consider most of them too annoying as they were just too common and there were too many people around for it to feel like you were being singled out by any particular cunty individual's behavior. Ones that stick in my mind though are:

1: An alcoholic female Leading Hand who used to get chaotically drunk and shit herself, then smear feeshus along the walls on the way to clean herself up in the toilets.

2: Some utter CUNT who shat in the main ice making machine while we were near the equator. No cold water with your meal for the 1000 people who used the main galley for 3 weeks then. If they'd found the culprit I swear a brutal murder would've been sanctioned by all.

3: Multiple episodes of people pissing the bed while drunk, shitting in the bin thinking it's a toilet, pissing on people's beds etc.

4: Two blokes getting in a punch up over some girl in the focsle (one of the few smoking areas) leading to a bloody nose for one and that blood dripping down the side of the ship while he tried to staunch the flow. Cue someone going for a smoke an hour later, seeing the trail of blood and alerting the commanding officer to a potential man overboard. All 1200 crew members then had to be accounted for at 3 in the morning.





GoblinAhFuckScary

#106
(removed by request)

mothman

Ships still have fo'c'sles?

Glebe

Sorry about what you're going through Goblin, hope it gets sorted and hugs.

I got out of the whole house-sharing experience just over twenty-one years ago.  This thread is reminding me how lucky I am.

mothman

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on May 16, 2021, 11:32:21 AM
I got out of the whole house-sharing experience just over twenty-one years ago.  This thread is reminding me how lucky I am.

Word. Although, living with a teenager and a pre-teen is like having a house-share theme park.

BritishHobo

I've written on here years ago about my conflict-ridden experiences in my first uni house - although with the wisdom of age I can acknowledge know that I had my fair share of blame as I was a proper disgusting cunt. Not just in my own squalid bedroom, but also letting the kitchen become overrun with grimy dishes. I think we ended up instituting a rota where each of us would do all of the washing up on any given day - which was pretty unfair to the  one roommate who would have been doing her own anyway. If I had to live with me now, I think I would end up murdering myself.

Icehaven

Quote from: BritishHobo on May 16, 2021, 02:10:41 PM
I've written on here years ago about my conflict-ridden experiences in my first uni house - although with the wisdom of age I can acknowledge know that I had my fair share of blame as I was a proper disgusting cunt. Not just in my own squalid bedroom, but also letting the kitchen become overrun with grimy dishes. I think we ended up instituting a rota where each of us would do all of the washing up on any given day - which was pretty unfair to the  one roommate who would have been doing her own anyway. If I had to live with me now, I think I would end up murdering myself.

Whwn I was in my last year of uni one of my housemates had a part-time job in a fairly posh hotel and would frequently bring home nice crockery that was otherwise being thrown away (so she said anyway...) because a few items in a set had been broken so they couldn't use any of it anymore because it all had to match for fancy dinners/occasions etc.

This resulted in us having cupboards stuffed full of dozens and dozens of plates, bowls, glasses and cups. Unfortunately the impetus to wash up was typically having nothing left to eat off, which only happened about once every three weeks when someone finally used the last clean plate, added it to the towering piles all over the kitchen and had to admit it was time. It literally took about 3 hours to get through it all, we had to make entire days of it.


H-O-W-L

Cleaned out a housemate's room after he moved out once. Several Monster cans in a perfect grid, we're talking 50+ from a period of several months. Most of them empty. Some of them full of cig ash or the odd bit of spit, or just Monster dregs. Couple full of piss. One of them full to the brim with blood. Like, actual full bore red blood. Copper stink and partial coagulation and everything.

Still terrifies me.


seepage

I live with someone who has an inability to close any kind of container - bottles, jars, tins, cupboards, food tubs etc. This isn't usually a major issue except for toiletries that stand on their lids and must be snapped shut to avoid the contents falling out. So this morning I was in a hurry, opened the bathroom cabinet to get some shaving gel and was greeted with a wave of blue gunk waterfalling into the sink. They'd "borrowed some to clean something".   

bakabaka

An old friend got divorced and asked if we'd like to co-own the house with him, buying out his ex. Nice guy, nice house, nice area so we did. He kept the basement flat, we got upstairs.

Turns out that the reason for the divorce was that he had become a violent alcoholic. Loud music, shouting at the world and the loudest wanking I've ever heard[nb]who shouts "Cor baby, that's really free!" during the vinegar strokes?[/nb]. Blocked our access to the garden for 3 years and when we finally got into it he pulled up everything we planted[nb] except the veg patch which I dug over and planted rows of carrots and broccoli. 2 days later he had a bonfire on them[/nb]. Started building a massive shed ("my log cabin") but gave up after getting the foundations and uprights put in. Taken out a couple of walls downstairs to make it more open plan so there's nowhere to escape his noise and our kitchen floor is beginning to sag.
He's never paid any of the shared bills and now owes us £18k. The list goes on and on but just makes me more depressed remembering it all.

We've been trying to move for two and a half years now. We tried to sell our portion of the house but he won't agree to any of the alterations needed to separate the two parts so the only recourse is to sell the entire house. We're the majority shareholders so it's straightforward and legal but he won't agree so it has to go to court. No idea how much longer that's going to take but it could well be another couple of years while my wife commutes 60 miles a day for 2-3 hours work and both of us dance the tango with suicidal depression.

tl:dr - Don't buy a house with friends.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: bakabaka on May 17, 2021, 09:10:10 AM
An old friend got divorced and asked if we'd like to co-own the house with him, buying out his ex. Nice guy, nice house, nice area so we did. He kept the basement flat, we got upstairs.

Turns out that the reason for the divorce was that he had become a violent alcoholic. Loud music, shouting at the world and the loudest wanking I've ever heard[nb]who shouts "Cor baby, that's really free!" during the vinegar strokes?[/nb]. Blocked our access to the garden for 3 years and when we finally got into it he pulled up everything we planted[nb] except the veg patch which I dug over and planted rows of carrots and broccoli. 2 days later he had a bonfire on them[/nb]. Started building a massive shed ("my log cabin") but gave up after getting the foundations and uprights put in. Taken out a couple of walls downstairs to make it more open plan so there's nowhere to escape his noise and our kitchen floor is beginning to sag.
He's never paid any of the shared bills and now owes us £18k. The list goes on and on but just makes me more depressed remembering it all.

We've been trying to move for two and a half years now. We tried to sell our portion of the house but he won't agree to any of the alterations needed to separate the two parts so the only recourse is to sell the entire house. We're the majority shareholders so it's straightforward and legal but he won't agree so it has to go to court. No idea how much longer that's going to take but it could well be another couple of years while my wife commutes 60 miles a day for 2-3 hours work and both of us dance the tango with suicidal depression.

tl:dr - Don't buy a house with friends.

Fucking hell, that's awful, I'm so sorry to hear that, I've lived with some cunts in the past but at least I was able to move quickly if needed, being stuck in a situation like that must be horrendous and I really hope it doesn't last for as long as you fear.

Paul Calf

Quote from: bakabaka on May 17, 2021, 09:10:10 AM
An old friend got divorced and asked if we'd like to co-own the house with him, buying out his ex. Nice guy, nice house, nice area so we did. He kept the basement flat, we got upstairs.

Turns out that the reason for the divorce was that he had become a violent alcoholic. Loud music, shouting at the world and the loudest wanking I've ever heard[nb]who shouts "Cor baby, that's really free!" during the vinegar strokes?[/nb]. Blocked our access to the garden for 3 years and when we finally got into it he pulled up everything we planted[nb] except the veg patch which I dug over and planted rows of carrots and broccoli. 2 days later he had a bonfire on them[/nb]. Started building a massive shed ("my log cabin") but gave up after getting the foundations and uprights put in. Taken out a couple of walls downstairs to make it more open plan so there's nowhere to escape his noise and our kitchen floor is beginning to sag.
He's never paid any of the shared bills and now owes us £18k. The list goes on and on but just makes me more depressed remembering it all.

We've been trying to move for two and a half years now. We tried to sell our portion of the house but he won't agree to any of the alterations needed to separate the two parts so the only recourse is to sell the entire house. We're the majority shareholders so it's straightforward and legal but he won't agree so it has to go to court. No idea how much longer that's going to take but it could well be another couple of years while my wife commutes 60 miles a day for 2-3 hours work and both of us dance the tango with suicidal depression.

tl:dr - Don't buy a house with friends.

You should consider suing him for damage to your property but I entirely understand why you wouldn't want to get into that.