The distinct weirdness of Britain's aristocrats

[Thomas]

I'm watching a short doc about big cat sightings, and it's introduced me to Sir Benjamin Slade, 7th Baronet:

In 2017 he advertised for a wife citing that she should have a shotgun licence, a driving licence, a coat of arms and be young enough to have sons. He rejected candidates from countries beginning with an 'I' or with green in the flag (except Italian and northern Indian women), Scots, lesbians and communists.

The scrounging survival of these hereditary positions is rather a pathetic spectacle, with an aura of posh hauntology about it - especially when its hangers-on are such odd people, conducting their desperate weirdness in the depths of the countryside.

We're all aware of the late Lord Bath and his on-site harem of wifelets, but I'd love to know about more of these strange characters who still cling to the distant, dying, circular twigs of the Queen's extended family tree, their affluence shrinking with each generation, inheritors of cosy-satirical titles, twenty middle names, and a measure of obscurity, usually only encroaching on public awareness to do something weird.

Know any?

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

hhow

how would he have known a candidate was a lesbian or a communist

[thenoise]

1. Wouldn't have sex with him, and
2. Would keep trying to redistribute his wealth.

[Rizla]

Know any?

Yeah, I was childhood friends with the heir apparent to a Baronetcy. Relatively interesting family history. One of his forebears killed his brother and was the first person in legal history to be acquitted on grounds of diminished responsibility. His defence lawyer was David Hume.

He (my friend) was fucking mental, possibly still is. Always wondered if it ran in the family. He'd get himself well hyper and run up to you crotch first and rub himself on your leg shouting "sex me! sex me!". I found it hilarious. Quite possibly he'd been abused, thinking about it now.

My dad had a brief fling with his mum - she was separated from the Baron/Earl/Whatever fuck he was, who lived with a blonde nordic lady in the mansion (now a hotel, natch) while her and the kids lived in a new-build on the land. We spent some of Christmas 1985 with them, I remember I watched The Italian Job and And Now For Something Completely Different on the telly.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

hhow

how would he have known a candidate was a lesbian or a communist

Dungarees, Doc Martens and a Che Guevara t shirt.

[Thomas]

Yeah, I was childhood friends with the heir apparent to a Baronetcy.

A personal friendship story within three replies - that's good thread yield. Is your friend still set to inherit the baronetcy (even if the mansion is gone)?

A quick CaB-Google returns this 2015 thread from casto diaz, celebrating the aristocrat, and has reminded me that I must watch The F***ing Fulfords (2004).

[Rizla]

A personal friendship story within three replies - that's good thread yield. Is your friend still set to inherit the baronetcy (even if the mansion is gone)?

I dunno, I haven't spoken to him since 1988. My brother served him in Margiottas in the mid 90s, or tried to - his credit card got refused and the till told him to cut it in half or phone the bank or something.

[Gurke and Hare]

He (my friend) was fucking mental, possibly still is. Always wondered if it ran in the family. He'd get himself well hyper and run up to you crotch first and rub himself on your leg shouting "sex me! sex me!".

To be fair, that doesn't sound that different from the distinctly non-aristocratic Bumming Crew who terrorised[nb]bemused[/nb] my school for a couple of weeks.

[touchingcloth]

I've got a friend who's a marchioness or something. He likes to smoke weed.

[Sebastian Cobb]

To be fair, that doesn't sound that different from the distinctly non-aristocratic Bumming Crew who terrorised[nb]bemused[/nb] my school for a couple of weeks.

Joe Moore used to run up to people standing up, guff on their crotch and shout "eggy willy" then run off.

[Kankurette]

Why would a lesbian or a commie be interested though? Lesbians aren't into men and a communist would probably disapprove too much of him.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Why would a lesbian or a commie be interested though? Lesbians aren't into men and a communist would probably disapprove too much of him.

Money, connections, status, the same reasons everyone lies.

[Kankurette]

Would status really appeal if you're a communist though?

[Gurke and Hare]

Would status really appeal if you're a communist though?

Everyone wants a dacha on the Black Sea.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Would status really appeal if you're a communist though?

Not if we live in a society where people's political ideologies are untempered by their personal avarice, but we do, so...

[George White]

I'm watching a short doc about big cat sightings, and it's introduced me to Sir Benjamin Slade, 7th Baronet:

The scrounging survival of these hereditary positions is rather a pathetic spectacle, with an aura of posh hauntology about it - especially when its hangers-on are such odd people, conducting their desperate weirdness in the depths of the countryside.

We're all aware of the late Lord Bath and his on-site harem of wifelets, but I'd love to know about more of these strange characters who still cling to the distant, dying, circular twigs of the Queen's extended family tree, their affluence shrinking with each generation, inheritors of cosy-satirical titles, twenty middle names, and a measure of obscurity, usually only encroaching on public awareness to do something weird.

Know any?

From this wikipedia, this quote is especially golden.

His partner was Kirsten Hughes,[6] star of Jane and the Lost City, until she "ran off with the handyman".[1] Slade was later accused by a neighbour of having abused Hughes; however, Slade successfully sued for libel, and the neighbour admitted to fabricating the allegations in an attempt to sabotage Slade's planned music festival.

Bonus points for the star of that long-forgotten British semi-superhero comic strip movie starring Jasper Carrott and Flash Gordon...

[dissolute ocelot]

My parents have known a few aristos from involvement in local history and heritage and other things. If you're descended from a 17th century general ennobled for his brutality, how are you going to be normal, especially if you're raised in a mansion under his portrait and educated at Eton? Even the charitable-minded, socially concerned, "nice" ones are fucking bonkers (is it really expensive to run a stately home or is not buying any clothes in the last 30 years just a foible?), so the sort that really embrace the privilege are truly from another world.

On the other hand, the Aspinalls are in the news again, and it's comforting to know you can be that mad without coming from a long line of baronets. But even then, whether you're the gambling-mad son of a Maltese doctor or some aging pop star or successful businessman, it's the model of the aristocracy that those with delusions aspire to - the stately home, the estate, tweeds, hunting and fishing, meeting the poshos and royals. Truly a poison on British society (and one that's even copied by rich Arabs buying up chunks of Scotland.)

[George White]

Reminded that AJ Langer, the President's dissident daughter in Escape to LA and the girl in People under the Stairs and Rayanne off My so Called Life is  now Countess of Devon.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.vanityfair.com%2Fhollywood%2F2015%2F08%2Fmy-so-called-life-rayanne-aj-langer-countess&psig=AOvVaw29adhgynMk3mj7wPraC3yN&ust=1618397786506000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CA0QjhxqFwoTCICW1P-H--8CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD

[EOLAN]

From this wikipedia, this quote is especially golden.
Bonus points for the star of that long-forgotten British semi-superhero comic strip movie starring Jasper Carrott and Flash Gordon...

Was reading the last few words first and thought that an aristocrat was busy getting a musical festival together on their largesse property celebrating the music of the band Slade. Would straight away rocket up my list of favourite Aristocrats.

[Rizla]

From this wikipedia, this quote is especially golden.
Bonus points for the star of that long-forgotten British semi-superhero comic strip movie starring Jasper Carrott and Flash Gordon...

Forgotten by some, perhaps...this has reminded me of a fact that is seemingly missing from the internet, which is that Chas Chandler, bassist with the Animals and manager of Jimi Hendrix and the aforementioned Slade, at one time owned (or at least tried to secure) the film rights to Jane's fellow (and fictionally contemporaneous) Daily Mirror comic strip hero Garth.

[mothman]

Reminded that AJ Langer, the President's dissident daughter in Escape to LA and the girl in People under the Stairs and Rayanne off My so Called Life is  now Countess of Devon.
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/08/my-so-called-life-rayanne-aj-langer-countess

(fixed the link) That's almost more bizarre than Christopher Guest being the 5th Baron Haden-Guest, and Jamie Lee Curtis thus being The Right Honourable The Lady Haden-Guest...

[George White]

Forgotten by some, perhaps...this has reminded me of a fact that is seemingly missing from the internet, which is that Chas Chandler, bassist with the Animals and manager of Jimi Hendrix and the aforementioned Slade, at one time owned (or at least tried to secure) the film rights to Jane's fellow (and fictionally contemporaneous) Daily Mirror comic strip hero Garth.

I believe, according to old Starbursts, that they were going to cast Joe Bugner.