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March 29, 2024, 09:08:07 AM

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People who use 2 initials instead of a first name are generally wankers.

Started by holyzombiejesus, April 12, 2021, 08:22:01 PM

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Icehaven

Quote from: Jockice on April 14, 2021, 07:24:02 AM
I do this on my email address but it's mainly because I have a very common first name and a not particularly uncommon surname, so it's hard to get a unique identity. I hate my middle name though. With a vengeance. And it grinds my gears that I have to acknowledge its existence in any way. Especially since neither of my parents even had a middle name and they didn't give my sister one either.

I've been through this before several times on here though but even at the age of 55 I find it very hard to forgive them. Especially my sis cos she's the only one still alive and it was her idea to have those names in that order in the first place. It's the one element of my existence I have absolutely no sense of humour about, especially since others think it's hilarious.

I'm going to go right out on a limb here and guess your initials are J.T.

Jockice

Quote from: icehaven on April 20, 2021, 09:13:35 AM
I'm going to go right out on a limb here and guess your initials are J.T.


I couldn't possibly say. Although I will also add (as I always do) that my dad officially had the same first name as I do, although nobody called him that, but he would still open any mail with that first name or just initial on it, including the 'thanks but no thanks' reply to a love letter I sent to a girl. So I had to use that fucking initial (and get the 'what's your middle name?' bit) whenever possible just to stop him prying, although my mum suggested I could alternatively use Jr at the end of my name. Like we were American oil magnates instead of a working class family from Scotland.

And she teamed up with my dad in saying it was okay for him to open mail without the initial even if it was obviously for me (like big lilac envelopes with obviously girlie writing on the front) because I used to open their post. When I was a small child. Because that's the sort of thing small children do.

And yes I am totally aware that I've told you all this several times before, but it is probably the thing in my entire life I'm angriest about. And I'll just add again that neither of my parents or my sister even had/have a middle name. The twats.

Replies From View

Quote from: kittens on April 14, 2021, 08:53:37 AM
my first 2 initials are "DJ", like a dj, which is cool, and my bank card says "Mr DJ Sturgeon" on it, which is very cool

I espy a very cunning strategy for endowing honorary doctoratism upon the undeserving

Replies From View

Quote from: Jockice on April 20, 2021, 09:29:22 AM

I couldn't possibly say. Although I will also add (as I always do) that my dad officially had the same first name as I do, although nobody called him that, but he would still open any mail with that first name or just initial on it, including the 'thanks but no thanks' reply to a love letter I sent to a girl. So I had to use that fucking initial (and get the 'what's your middle name?' bit) whenever possible just to stop him prying, although my mum suggested I could alternatively use Jr at the end of my name. Like we were American oil magnates instead of a working class family from Scotland.

And she teamed up with my dad in saying it was okay for him to open mail without the initial even if it was obviously for me (like big lilac envelopes with obviously girlie writing on the front) because I used to open their post. When I was a small child. Because that's the sort of thing small children do.

And yes I am totally aware that I've told you all this several times before, but it is probably the thing in my entire life I'm angriest about. And I'll just add again that neither of my parents or my sister even had/have a middle name. The twats.

I feel angry on your behalf about this, by the way.  They gave you your name but they seemed to be punishing you for it, as if you could be anything other than passive in that situation.  So you were pushed into a position where you either had to submit entirely to their shittiness or be a cunt in retaliation - ie deliberately get to the post before your parents and open everything addressed to yourself and your dad before he did it.  A impulse that no parents should be proud of nurturing in their child.

In that situation there's no fair middle ground, is there?  I think that, if pushed, I'd have opted for the latter option, in the hope that it would have greater success at resolving the issue than simply allowing the injustice to continue would have done.  Did you do anything about it?



Imagine punishing someone in their early teens for things they did when they were four or five, by the way.  "Well, when you were four you scratched your toy cars all over the linoleum flooring of the kitchen so much that we had to entirely replace it.  So, on reflection, don't you think it's quite fair for you to sleep in a room with no heating?"

Jockice

Quote from: Replies From View on April 20, 2021, 05:20:53 PM
I feel angry on your behalf about this, by the way.  They gave you your name but they seemed to be punishing you for it, as if you could be anything other than passive in that situation.  So you were pushed into a position where you either had to submit entirely to their shittiness or be a cunt in retaliation - ie deliberately get to the post before your parents and open everything addressed to yourself and your dad before he did it.  A impulse that no parents should be proud of nurturing in their child.

In that situation there's no fair middle ground, is there?  I think that, if pushed, I'd have opted for the latter option, in the hope that it would have greater success at resolving the issue than simply allowing the injustice to continue would have done.  Did you do anything about it?



Imagine punishing someone in their early teens for things they did when they were four or five, by the way.  "Well, when you were four you scratched your toy cars all over the linoleum flooring of the kitchen so much that we had to entirely replace it.  So, on reflection, don't you think it's quite fair for you to sleep in a room with no heating?"

It was a weird one because they weren't bad parents in general but as all parents do they had their quirks. And that was the most annoying of them. I can accept that they didn't know the meaning of the names when they gave me it (and it's just sheer bad luck that my grandfathers happened to have those names and my seven-year-old sister wanted them in that order) but the opening my mail bit was something else.

As I've said, my dad wasn't actually known by our given first name. I literally heard one person in my life call him that - and that was an insurance man who had obviously got his name out of the electoral register. But if I complained he'd just say: ""It might be important." He was the head of the household I suppose but they seemed totally oblivious to the fact that I might want some privacy. I mean how was I supposed to ensure that every single bit of mail I received had my middle name initial on it?

Regarding the love letter, it was the only time I ever did that, I didn't know she was going to write back and I neglected to add: "By the way if you do decide to blow me out by post would you please add the initial to the middle name you don't know I have as I saw no reason to mention it when I was trying to get off with you because people seem to find it funny and I don't."

The reply arrived on a Saturday so I was late up and was greeted on entering the living room by my dad saying: "There's a letter for you," and pointing at it propped up on top of the television - a place no other piece of correspondence had been placed before or since. He'd obviously read it, as had my mum and they eagerly waited on my response. I just read it and walked out of the room without saying a word. I wasn't going to give them any satisfaction on that account.

I did have several rants about the stick I got for the name (it wasn't until secondary school till it became an issue. You can only imagine the sheer joy my persecutors had on finding out that there was yet another reason to pick on me) and to be fair my dad did look embarrassed. My mum just didn't see any problem with it though. She was a bit strange like that sometimes. Like the 'you opened our post so we can open yours' bit. I didn't know to what extent at the time but she had an extremely traumatic childhood herself so she probably saw it as a very minor thing. It wasn't to me though.

I wouldn't say it was the only thing that made me decide never to have children but it was certainly a factor. And if by some miracle I had reproduced I would have ensured that any offspring had totally different first names to me. That would be the end of a family tradition and it would serve them jolly well right. As it is my surname (well my family branch of it) dies when I do. Not something I'm particularly bothered about to be honest.

But you know, a lot of people (including ones I know) have had much worse parents than I had. I've heard some horrible stories. But mine still shouldn't have opened my sodding mail. Full stop.

Rant over. Till the next time.

kalowski

What name can get you picked on? Is your name Glitter or Savile or something like that?

mothman

My email address is my initials and my surname. It was back in the gold rush days of the internet when everyone was offering webmail services. I probably tried FirstnameLastname but that was taken. I didn't want my name and some random number so I tried initials and surname. Still available, snapped it up. Years later, still got it.

But there's one issue: as I understand it, the provider isn't good at detecting symbols in addresses. So I keep getting mail for, say, m_o_thman@ in my mothman@ address. I've had genuine messages for:

- a doctor in, amongst others, Gold Coast Australia, South Africa and from both seaboards of the continental US
- announcements of postponed weddings
- quotes for scuba gear, house remodelling...
- a receipt for a care package sent to a girl in prison in New Mexico

Sometimes I reply politely. Sometimes I take the piss. Somebody actually funny or creative would probably have gotten a book deal out of it after starting as a blog or Twitter account...

Jockice

Incidentally I bumped into the girl I sent the love letter to last summer. First time I'd seen her for many a year. I genuinely don't know what I saw in her. She's a nice person but so far from my usual 'type' it seems absurd to me that I had such a massive crush on her that I actually wrote to her to tell her. Oh well, all part of the joy of being a young person with awakening hormones. Glad I don't have to go through that nonsense again.

Replies From View

Quote from: kalowski on April 20, 2021, 09:15:24 PM
What name can get you picked on? Is your name Glitter or Savile or something like that?

Off the top of my head, initials like "B.J." could probably generate embarrassment at secondary school.  Or "S.T.D."


Haha, just realised as well that the aspect ratio 16:9 has initials that would be suggestive if they involved a 6 rather than a 16.  What a loser!

Replies From View

Quote from: Jockice on April 20, 2021, 08:40:19 PM
The reply arrived on a Saturday so I was late up and was greeted on entering the living room by my dad saying: "There's a letter for you," and pointing at it propped up on top of the television - a place no other piece of correspondence had been placed before or since. He'd obviously read it, as had my mum and they eagerly waited on my response. I just read it and walked out of the room without saying a word. I wasn't going to give them any satisfaction on that account.

If they truly had read it, this is really sick.  My presumption would be that they opened the envelope (because they weren't sure if it was for you or your dad), pulled the letter out enough to see that it was a message from a girl you liked, didn't read any further, then (nevertheless bizarrely) decided to turn it into a "moment" for you by the way they placed it on the television, without knowing whether she was saying yes or no.

Building it up for you when they already knew the outcome would just be fucked up, sorry.  Are you sure they did?

kalowski

Quote from: Replies From View on April 20, 2021, 09:47:15 PM
Off the top of my head, initials like "B.J." could probably generate embarrassment at secondary school.  Or "S.T.D."


Haha, just realised as well that the aspect ratio 16:9 has initials that would be suggestive if they involved a 6 rather than a 16.  What a loser!
God yes. I once heard about a headteacher called BJ Purvis. Wonder what the pupils called him?

Replies From View

Quote from: Jockice on April 20, 2021, 08:40:19 PM
As I've said, my dad wasn't actually known by our given first name. I literally heard one person in my life call him that - and that was an insurance man who had obviously got his name out of the electoral register. But if I complained he'd just say: ""It might be important." He was the head of the household I suppose but they seemed totally oblivious to the fact that I might want some privacy. I mean how was I supposed to ensure that every single bit of mail I received had my middle name initial on it?

This is the especially annoying aspect of your dad's stance.  It's like when you need to use a shared landline, and it's your parents' landline so they get priority.  "Well if you won't get your own phone, you have to put up with us hearing the voicemails people leave for you."  Or something like that.  And it's a matter of your choice whether you have your own phone or continue using your parents' landline.

It's like that, except you're getting stick for a decision YOUR PARENTS MADE when you were born.  I find it aggravating even though it has nothing to do with me.

Replies From View

Quote from: kalowski on April 20, 2021, 10:04:20 PM
God yes. I once heard about a headteacher called BJ Purvis. Wonder what the pupils called him?

Bluepeter J Purvis

Jockice

Quote from: Replies From View on April 20, 2021, 09:56:14 PM
If they truly had read it, this is really sick.  My presumption would be that they opened the envelope (because they weren't sure if it was for you or your dad), pulled the letter out enough to see that it was a message from a girl you liked, didn't read any further, then (nevertheless bizarrely) decided to turn it into a "moment" for you by the way they placed it on the television, without knowing whether she was saying yes or no.

Building it up for you when they already knew the outcome would just be fucked up, sorry.  Are you sure they did?

I'm not sure but that's my presumption. As they were both in the same room at the same time (which take it from me wasn't usual) and were obviously waiting for some reaction..I can't say for sure though because they never asked me about it and I wouldn't have told them anyway. I gave them as little personal information as possible.I wanted my identity to be a blank space. None of their business. I actually think they were surprised when I turned out to be straight. I had my suspicions that they had their suspicions about me.

Incidentally it's not only parents who do that. When I was in my 20s I nearly ended a school friend's relationship by sending him a letter containing a gag about a girl he knew. I don't even know if anything went on between them but his girlfriend opened the letter and failed to see the funny side. I'd probably have been angrier if that had happened to me. My dad at least had a tenuous excuse for opening my post but that was just spying.

mothman


Psmith

Has anyone mentioned P G Wodehouse?The greatest English writer of humour.OK he did broadcast some Nazi propaganda perhaps but I'm sure it was all a genuine mistake.

Replies From View

Fairly sure the one who broadcast Nazi propaganda was a different guy called PG13 Wodehouse.

Jockice

Quote from: Replies From View on April 20, 2021, 10:04:50 PM
This is the especially annoying aspect of your dad's stance.  It's like when you need to use a shared landline, and it's your parents' landline so they get priority.  "Well if you won't get your own phone, you have to put up with us hearing the voicemails people leave for you."  Or something like that.  And it's a matter of your choice whether you have your own phone or continue using your parents' landline.

It's like that, except you're getting stick for a decision YOUR PARENTS MADE when you were born.  I find it aggravating even though it has nothing to do with me.

I'm just glad someone else gets why it aggrieved me so much. It was like a campaign to ensure I didn't get any privacy. It wasn't just the love letter though, there were other occasions. Having said that, I did live at home till I was 27 but there were reasons behind that.
And I'll say it again, they could have been much worse parents. Everybody's mum and dad fuck them up in various ways and out of all my oddities that made me an outsider the name thing is the one that really got to me. The rancid cherry on the cake.

Families eh? Can't live with em, can't shoot em.

Jockice

And ironically, although I'd managed to get most medical correspondence addressed with my middle initial, the time when I went to see a doctor about an extremely private matter and they said they'd write to me, instead the hospital phoned me up informing me that there was a bed available for me that day. A call answered by my mother who (quite naturally I suppose) panicked and spent several weeks pressurising me to tell her what it was after the hospital staff refused. I was being tested for something, that was all. Not cancer or anything that could kill me. As far as I was concerned that's all she needed to know. When I finally snapped and told her she got totally the wrong end of the stick anyway. No mother dearest, I do not want a sodding sex change. Really, I don't.

She was in and out of hospital a lot with her various illnesses, yet I'd never pressurise her. If she wanted to tell me something she could otherwise I'd let it go. It's an ethos I've kept up ever since. Fucked up my career as an investigative journalist though.


timebug

I have used my two initials in two different jobs I worked in, simply because my surname is a common one, and three other people with the same surname, had the same first initial as me, so to keep it straight I used both of mine! Otherwise I just use my first name.Curiously though, my late godmother always called me by my middle name!

Icehaven

Years ago I went to a talk by a debut novelist called S.J. Watson, and he said he'd deliberately decided to go by initials because his book (Before I Go To Sleep) was written entirely from the perspective of a woman, and he didn't want judgement of how successfully he as a man had managed to write as a woman to distract from the story. I've got a vague memory that he sort of humblebragged about how many people who read it just assumed he was a woman too, but tbh by it's very nature it doesn't exactly attempt much deep insight into the female mind (it's a fairly schlocky thriller about a woman with a brain injury who wakes up every day unable to remember anything about herself or her life, later got made into a Hollywood film), so I think he was overestimating how much analysis the 'male author female protagonist' aspect would get. The unlikely plot twists and reliance on remarkable coincidences was far more likely to be discussed.

iamcoop

Quote from: Zetetic on April 12, 2021, 08:26:25 PM
Any strong opinions on R.L. Stein, who's probably the most famous of these (top 5 at least)?

I prefer his Chinese counterpart L.R. Stein.

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: icehaven on April 21, 2021, 11:03:34 AM
Years ago I went to a talk by a debut novelist called S.J. Watson, and he said he'd deliberately decided to go by initials because his book (Before I Go To Sleep) was written entirely from the perspective of a woman, and he didn't want judgement of how successfully he as a man had managed to write as a woman to distract from the story. I've got a vague memory that he sort of humblebragged about how many people who read it just assumed he was a woman too, but tbh by it's very nature it doesn't exactly attempt much deep insight into the female mind (it's a fairly schlocky thriller about a woman with a brain injury who wakes up every day unable to remember anything about herself or her life, later got made into a Hollywood film), so I think he was overestimating how much analysis the 'male author female protagonist' aspect would get. The unlikely plot twists and reliance on remarkable coincidences was far more likely to be discussed.

Sounds like an SJW.

LL Cool J

Not checking, but I think it means Ladies Love Cool Jim (?)
That might be a backronym he created. AC Slater would do stuff like that.

Dex Sawash


zomgmouse