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March 29, 2024, 01:32:05 AM

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Art.

Started by Mobius, April 13, 2021, 09:36:05 PM

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Mobius

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2021/apr/13/damien-hirst-fact-paintings-and-fact-sculptures-review

Look at this fucking shit. A sink. A vending machine.

And within that story there's a link to that Jeff Koons who makes big art. Look at this one it's some vacuum cleaners https://www.moma.org/collection/works/81090

Come on. Someone tell me this is good.


bgmnts

Its just shit art.

But I do wonder if a dog does a bit shit and half eats it and throws it back up, is that art? Is a lamppost art? A cumstain?

Twit 2

Wait till you hear about Carl Andre. You'll shit bricks!

jobotic

It's Hirst, of course it's shit. Probably ripped off someone else too.

Still, he's making money.

Cuellar

If you didn't want this we should never have started down the representative art route in the first place. Paintings that look like the things they're of are good, are they? Well just look at the actual thing then. So here we are, bosh: vending machine, sink, cabinets. Go directly to the source.

Quote from: Twit 2 on April 13, 2021, 09:40:07 PM
Wait till you hear about Carl Andre. You'll shit bricks!
Wait 'til you hear about Gustav Metzger. You'll explode!

jobotic

No problem with conceptual art, readymades, anything. Just capitalist charlatans.

Captain Z

Well_he_got_a_reaction.jpg

Thus concludes my essay on modern art.

kittens

my baby could do that. my baby could put a coca cola vending machine in a art gallery. we all know my baby could do this and yet no one is giving the art prize (name of this prize? like oscars but it's for best art) to my baby. no wonder my baby is so unmotivated.

jobotic

Yeah but your baby didn't do it. Tell your philistine baby to stop whining.

Mobius


imitationleather

Quote from: kittens on April 13, 2021, 09:57:47 PM
my baby could do that. my baby could put a coca cola vending machine in a art gallery. we all know my baby could do this and yet no one is giving the art prize (name of this prize? like oscars but it's for best art) to my baby. no wonder my baby is so unmotivated.

I could do your baby.

kittens

my own dumb little nappy-wearing stupid drooling baby. my ridiculous tiny entirely-lacking-in-any-kind-of-motor-control baby could easily put a coca cola vending machine into an art gallery as an installation. yet he is ignored

Wait until you hear about On Karawa. You won't even know what day it is!

imitationleather

Baby sounds like an idiot.


Mobius

Just googled these ones thanks for the recommendations lads.

Quote from: Twit 2 on April 13, 2021, 09:40:07 PM
Wait till you hear about Carl Andre. You'll shit bricks!

I mean Kitten's kid could literally do these. It's half arsed jenga.

Quote from: Astronaut Omens on April 13, 2021, 09:46:48 PM
Wait 'til you hear about Gustav Metzger. You'll explode!

Not even sure what this guy is doing... blowing up bricks and paper?

Quote from: Astronaut Omens on April 13, 2021, 10:03:04 PM
Wait until you hear about On Karawa. You won't even know what day it is!

Unbelievable. He's just written the date. I do that about 50 times a day at work? What a cunt.

I saw some graffiti on an underpass when I was out for a walk today, written in big letters across the wall "art is woe"

Aw man. It started off as a gentle chuckle but I was properly belly laughing at times so much that people were crossing the street.
It kept coming back, ebbing and flowing in waves as I was asking myself why I found it so funny.

I'll have to take a camera and get a photo of it the next time I'm down there.

kittens

i don't really have a baby .it was a metaphor, like art. the surprise you are feeling now - THIS is the power of art

mothman

Art is long, but Hirst is shite.

Bronzy

Quote from: kittens on April 13, 2021, 10:20:21 PM
i don't really have a baby .it was a metaphor, like art. the surprise you are feeling now - THIS is the power of art

I wanna baby, I wanna baby, I wanna baby of my own.
I wanna baby, I wanna baby, a baby and a mobile phone.

madhair60


Wait 'til you hear about Sophie Calle. You'll want to track down whoever's responsible!

Wait til you hear about Stewart Home. You'll wish all these so-called 'artists' would go on strike!

Buelligan

Up on the mountain there's a huge pile of small flat rocks, about the size of a mango but flatter.  It's huge.  On top is a huge round coil of very rusty wire about a metre or more across and 40cm deep.  Every time I pass I want to take my ostrich egg up there and leave it.  I also collect rusty wire on the mountain, stuff like abandoned electric fencing that got burnt in the great fire.  I make nests from it and put them up in the burnt black tree skeletons.  No one looks, which is good because it's about how humans destroy the beautiful promise of the world.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

It'll freak em out! What's a vending machine doing in a fackin' gallery? I need a drink! Then they'll have to have one of our organic scrumpies.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 14, 2021, 08:51:20 AM
It'll freak em out! What's a vending machine doing in a fackin' gallery? I need a drink! Then they'll have to have one of our organic scrumpies.
I've seen vending machines in galleries that sold actual art. What's so radical about a fucking Coke machine?

Johnny Yesno

QuoteLivening all this up, there are lots of photorealist paintings, large and small, depicting various butterflies at rest on plants, an atomic explosion, the artist dressed as a surgeon and morphed with an anatomical model, his newborn son Cyrus being cleaned, and a small painting of Paris's Notre-Dame Cathedral on fire in 2019. Whether Hirst himself painted any of these or they were passed to studio assistants, I have no idea. I doubt the artist would have the time.

Uurgh.

Quote from: Armando IannucciOne man who has made an absolute fortune this week is the gifted geezer, Damien Hirst, who sold loads of his glued stuff for £111M at Sotheby's.
One cannot help but admire the man
who will one day kick Damian Hirst in the stomach while saying 'I don't know much about art but I know what I like,
and I like doing this to you, you pudge-faced cow-halver.
Your hands smell like a coroner's.
You art school Quincey.
You may wear big blue glasses but you still look like Wayne Rooney.'

bgmnts

You'd assume a centrist would appreciate the moneymaking aspect of Hirst's art, no? Do centrists care about art existing for art's sake or do they only prescribe value in terms of monetary value, or is that just right wingers?

idunnosomename

Quote from: Bronzy on April 13, 2021, 11:13:26 PM
I wanna baby, I wanna baby, I wanna baby of my own.
I wanna baby, I wanna baby, a baby and a mobile phone.
FLAT SCREEN FLATSCREEN TV
FLAT SCREEN FLATSCREEN TV
HIGH DEFINITION FLATSCREEN TV

JesusAndYourBush

Read something the other day about some art that was basically a canvas with paint splashed across it.  The paint cans and brushes had also been left in front of the canvas as part of the art.  Probably valued at some silly amount.  Bloke and his wife comes along and assumes it's a participatory type thing and proceeds to use a brush to daub some more paint on, and wasn't stopped for quite some time.  Now they've got a dilemma what to do next, and the artist has been informed.  I don't know what happened next as I've not looked for updates on the story, but surely the best thing would be to give the two extra daubers a credit and treat it as part of the art.