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have you ever done/said any cool movie stuff in real life.

Started by madhair60, April 15, 2021, 01:19:21 PM

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Kelvin


DrGreggles


kittens

has there ever been any movies made about reliably maintaining a steady wanking speed of 190 ppm

Captain Z

Once received a call that was coming from inside the house...

Johnny Yesno


Some kid at school was shoving me about, giving me all that "why don't you fight back? You're a fucking queer" patter. He just kept shoving and jostling, wouldn't leave me alone. He then started punching me and I had one of those moments when everything goes blurry and your ears start ringing, almost like you're passing out or having a bad migraine. When I came to, the kid's on his arse with blood pissing out of his nose. I'd apparently turned around and just started beating on his face, but I don't remember a second of it.

GoblinAhFuckScary

went to a noise show a few years ago which involved one woman screaming and writing about on the floor, in the middle of the audience.

as she was doing this a man next to me literally pounced on top of her. myself and an acquaintance immediately grabbed at him and somehow i grabbed him by the scruff of the neck (i'm a weak gal so this was a surprise to me) and marched him out into the street, giving him a fuck off massive boot in the arse. had to pull off the acquaintance from wailing on him in the corner first. that was mad and felt very dramatic.

speaking to the performer afterwards she said that she was so involved in what she was doing that she had barely noticed it happening.

seepage

Once I was drunk and pissed up on booze in some tea rooms or other.

Quote from: Johnny Yesno on April 15, 2021, 04:17:02 PM
I don't remember a movie where a conman sold an alarm that could detect a harmless gas to some dunces and scared them half to death.

Well then someone needs to make it

And yes quite right it's just CO isn't it. Get them confused

jobotic

Quote from: kittens on April 15, 2021, 04:25:23 PM
has there ever been any movies made about reliably maintaining a steady wanking speed of 190 ppm

Only two.

steve98

"ppm"? pulls per minute, is it? (190ppm is about 3 pulls a second; so, a fair clip).

badaids

I was out doing a live action role playing weekend in Cobham woods with my mates and in the middle of the night we came upon these devil worshippers and spent the rest of the night trying to escape them as they hunted us through the forest. Shitted us right up at the time but would make a great 90 minute movie.

I'm lucky enough to have had lots of adventures; been stuck on a boat sinking at sea, been shot at, loads of withnail and Larry David types messes that I got in from being a complete twat.

gilbertharding

Quote from: badaids on April 15, 2021, 04:47:39 PM
I was out doing a live action role playing weekend in Cobham woods with my mates and in the middle of the night we came upon these devil worshippers and spent the rest of the night trying to escape them as they hunted us through the forest. Shitted us right up at the time but would make a great 90 minute movie.

Near the mausoleum? It's all changed round there nowadays.


steve98

It looks as if many posters are just making up their "real life" movie experiences to match actual movies; which is only to be expected but of little use to those of us who aren't buffs and familiar with the movies referenced. A complete waste of time for us, really.

Chedney Honks

I once thumbed my flaccid penis into the mouth of statue of a famous Chinese orphan folk hero, like in Edward Yang's Yi Yi.

Buelligan

Quote from: Attila on April 15, 2021, 02:03:20 PM
I once climbed/jumped out of a window to avoid speaking to a professor I didn't like (back when I was a student). Dunno if that's Hollywood enough, though.

My brother did something like that at school, only he popped the teacher out of the window.  Very gently, he landed softly on his feet.

I've stood up with my arms over my head, like a diver, on the saddle of a motorcycle traveling at speed along the M4.  And, of course, the obligatory crucifix.  Went past a coach and waved to the passengers.  Also jumped onto a moving train.  Smoked a fag and had sex (not at the same time).

bakabaka

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on April 15, 2021, 04:33:35 PM
Some kid at school was shoving me about, giving me all that "why don't you fight back? You're a fucking queer" patter. He just kept shoving and jostling, wouldn't leave me alone. He then started punching me and I had one of those moments when everything goes blurry and your ears start ringing, almost like you're passing out or having a bad migraine. When I came to, the kid's on his arse with blood pissing out of his nose. I'd apparently turned around and just started beating on his face, but I don't remember a second of it.
The only 'fight' I ever got involved in was at school, standing in the queue for lunch. A kid joined the queue in front of me so I told him to go to the back, as you do. He turned round and punched me, much to my surprise. I have no idea why I gave him a straight finger jab to the stomach, but it made him bend double so it looked to my subconscious that he was about to headbutt my groin so I automatically brought up my knee to protect myself. Which caught his jaw going in the opposite direction. Next moment he's lying flat on his back and I'm in my proper place in the queue. No idea why that didn't earn me either massive kudos or a proper beating later.

The only other time I came close was in the sixth form when the resident Malfoyalike and his two cronies threatened to beat up me and my best friend because his girlfriend fancied my mate. I asked him how it would look if it got out that the three of them beat up two gay lads for stealing his girlfriend and made a few self-deprecating comments about our puniness as the two henchmen slowly backed away. When he realised he was on his own he flounced too.

Kelvin

Aged about 8, I kicked a spud gun out of my friend's hand, caught it and shot him.

Should have committed hara-kiri there and then. Was never gonna top that.

Buelligan

That is incredible.  And it reminds me, I have caught, but in a subconscious, knee, knee, up and catch way, my beloved Stokes Croft Corbyn mug, twice.  I don't even dare look at it now because I know this cannot continue.

bgmnts

I had sex with a woman to slow 90s rnb music in my head.

Sherringford Hovis

I always say "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast" before doing dangerous shit, purely because it'll piss my wife off when my overdue demise is recounted to her by my guffawing colleagues.

badaids

Quote from: gilbertharding on April 15, 2021, 04:51:14 PM
Near the mausoleum? It's all changed round there nowadays.

In fact it was Oxshot woods, in the mid 90s.

But there are weird devil worshippers up in St Anne's Hill at chertsey all the time.

Buelligan

Quote from: Sherringford Hovis on April 15, 2021, 06:06:35 PM
I always say "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast" before doing dangerous shit, purely because it'll piss my wife off when my overdue demise is recounted to her by my guffawing colleagues.

Try not to die for a bit old bat.

Pink Gregory

Walked into a metal signpost because I was excitedly texting someone about going on a date.  Went on the date with a huge and noticeable lump on my forehead.

abobo

Lately find myself using the phrase

"I`m getting too old for this" for most things.



Dannyhood91


buttgammon

Stood stark bollock naked in a hotel room and turned around to see a crowd of people in tuxedos staring back at me in the function room that was across the courtyard below.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Blue Jam on April 15, 2021, 02:15:11 PM
I've also held a human brain. Felt pretty chuffed about that until I posted about it on Facebook and it turned out quite a lot of my friends had also held a human brain. That's what you get for being a nerd and being friends with nerds.

And yes, it is impossible to hold a human brain and not feel like you're auditioning to play Hamlet.

I've been walking around with a brain INSIDE ME for decades, beat that!!!

BlodwynPig