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Coast Wanker Confirmed as Cunt

Started by Cold Meat Platter, April 17, 2021, 11:10:13 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cold Meat Platter

After months of making wank-like statements about everything he's decided to go all in with the arsehole stuff.

https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/19239718.neil-oliver-latest-signing-andrew-neils-gb-news-channel/

What a total penis.

bgmnts

Oliver to GB News for an undisclosed fee.

touchingcloth

What are the wank-like statements he's been making? I've always suspected the man was a cunt due to his penchant for standing on cliffs on blustery days to enjoy the dynamics of his hair.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: touchingcloth on April 17, 2021, 11:17:57 PM
What are the wank-like statements he's been making? I've always suspected the man was a cunt due to his penchant for standing on cliffs on blustery days to enjoy the dynamics of his hair.

https://www.thenational.scot/news/18560680.unsurprising-neil-oliver-declare-love-david-starkey/


idunnosomename

are GB News ever going to launch or are they just going to put out press releases forever

gib

i'd like to see drone footage of any of you lot standing on the edge of a cliff with the wind blowing in your mane

touchingcloth

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on April 17, 2021, 11:24:43 PM
https://www.thenational.scot/news/18560680.unsurprising-neil-oliver-declare-love-david-starkey/

I like that there are at least two different ways that headline can be parsed

Quote
[It is] Unsurprising [that] Neil Oliver would declare love for David Starkey

Quote
[The] Unsurprising Neil Oliver would declare love for David Starkey

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: gib on April 17, 2021, 11:29:02 PM
i'd like to see drone footage of any of you lot standing on the edge of a cliff with the wind blowing in your mane

I'LL BET YOU WOULD GIB YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS.  I'LL BET YOU FUCKING WOULD.

idunnosomename

its funny how he basically has a Bellamy's People-style show. despite him being a completely miserable cunt

if I may

YOU MANKY SCOTS GIT!!

Buelligan

Quote from: gib on April 17, 2021, 11:29:02 PM
i'd like to see drone footage of any of you lot standing on the edge of a cliff with the wind blowing in your mane

He's an odd fellow.  I know it's a bit lookist to talk about it, but his actual person - just the face and body always look wrong to me in his clothes and hair.  Like, if you found him dead somewhere, you'd realise the killer had put that stuff on him to draw you off the scent, stop you identifying this angry sour little old chap who runs a club for people who hate stuff.


Hates you and doesn't fancy a pint

SpiderChrist

Should have seen him joining GB News as inevitable after this:

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/i-solemnly-swear-its-time-to-get-serious-about-having-a-laugh-pw2rqvz8l

Ah fuck off, ya miserable jock cunt. And get yer hair cut, you look like a girl.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: SpiderChrist on April 18, 2021, 09:25:48 AM
Ah fuck off, ya miserable jock cunt. And get yer hair cut, you look like a girl.

In a couple of interview I've read he's said people are often telling him to get his hair cut, or mistaking him for a woman, but his wife loves it so much she won't let him get rid of it.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

His hair is the one thing that momentarily conceals what an absolute Botolph and valve the guy is.

steveh

Quote from: idunnosomename on April 17, 2021, 11:25:56 PM
are GB News ever going to launch or are they just going to put out press releases forever

Was supposed to be last month, but is now apparently "later this year" due to the pandemic.

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 18, 2021, 09:42:41 AM
His hair is the one thing that momentarily conceals what an absolute Botolph and valve the guy is.

100%; it acts to soften his smacked arse face.


Btw not that unpredictable now that Starkey went full racist; they'll need another ombudsmen on history so they can qualify all their claims of why we are really a nation of conservatives.

buttgammon

He's in an interesting predicament at the moment, as he must be desperate to jump on Alex Salmond's twatmobile but he's also massively opposed to Scottish independence.

mothman

Just realised that if you shear off those lustrous flowing locks, he'd look exactly like philandering south-west Tory MP Jack Lopresti. Who I know from good authority to be an utter cunt even by the (low) standards of Tory MPs.

TrenterPercenter

Quote from: buttgammon on April 18, 2021, 10:41:39 AM
He's in an interesting predicament at the moment, as he must be desperate to jump on Alex Salmond's twatmobile but he's also massively opposed to Scottish independence.

Why? is Neil pro-independence? I was going to add they'll be able to use him as a Scottish voice against independence.

buttgammon

Quote from: TrenterPercenter on April 18, 2021, 10:44:52 AM
Why? is Neil pro-independence? I was going to add they'll be able to use him as a Scottish voice against independence.

As in Andrew Neil? I assume he's anti-independence. Neil Oliver is definitely anti-independence and calls himself British rather than Scottish.

TrenterPercenter

Sorry misread that you said Alex Salmond ignore me

frajer

Quote from: Buelligan on April 18, 2021, 09:18:24 AM

Hates you and doesn't fancy a pint

Richard Hammond's let himself go (feral).

Buelligan

They've all melted into Laurence Llewelyn Bowen by the time telly's finished with 'em.  Horrible really but the kiddies love it.

jenna appleseed

Quote from: frajer on April 21, 2021, 03:41:40 PM
Richard Hammond's let himself go (feral).

James May's let himself go into an angry potato.

jobotic

Quote from: mothman on April 18, 2021, 10:42:18 AM
Just realised that if you shear off those lustrous flowing locks, he'd look exactly like philandering south-west Tory MP Jack Lopresti. Who I know from good authority to be an utter cunt even by the (low) standards of Tory MPs.

Just read about him as I'd never heard of him. He sounds like a delight!

boki

Quote from: jenna appleseed on April 21, 2021, 04:31:07 PM
James May's let himself go into an angry potato.
Glenn Fricker's changed his conditioner brand.

Mr Banlon

Homeless Italian footballer from the 90s

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: buttgammon on April 18, 2021, 10:49:57 AM
As in Andrew Neil? I assume he's anti-independence. Neil Oliver is definitely anti-independence and calls himself British rather than Scottish.
Andrew Neil is also massively anti-independence and anti-devolution; when he edited the Scotsman nearly every story was about how Scotland is shit and they should close down the parliament and bulldoze everything into the sea.

Although curiously that didn't stop Andrew Neil and the Spectator teaming up with Alex Salmond to shit on Nicola Sturgeon (Spectator, not Spectator) so maybe a Coast Wanker/Salmond/GB News team-up isn't out of the question. (Salmond has a record on right-wing propaganda networks from his time on RT which Sturgeon told him to fuck off over and Wee Eck is still defending Putin.)

Captain Z


Butchers Blind

Quote from: Echo Valley 2-6809 on April 18, 2021, 09:32:40 AM
In a couple of interview I've read he's said people are often telling him to get his hair cut, or mistaking him for a woman, but his wife loves it so much she won't let him get rid of it.

His wife hates him.

Pink Gregory

Quote from: jobotic on April 21, 2021, 04:43:00 PM
Just read about him as I'd never heard of him. He sounds like a delight!

Daddy is a modern slavery ice cream baron.