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Richard Gere's arse gerbil...

Started by Fr.Bigley, April 18, 2021, 11:09:31 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

steve98

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on April 18, 2021, 12:39:31 PM
Terrible UK celebrities and morgue access in return for charity work.

How would a non-entity celebrity go about negotiating such a thing? (Let's say Saville had never existed.) Why would the morgue bosses care if you're doing a sponsored walk, or haircut or whatever?

Separately. I saw a pic, allegedly of Paul Burrell, at a fete drinking a Yard of "Almond's milk" (spunk), while a crowd (which included Almond) cheered him on.


checkoutgirl

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on April 18, 2021, 04:42:13 PM
Why would sticking a gerbil up there be pleasurable anyway? Does the fur tickle or something?

Reading too much into it. If it has been done I'd guess it was for the forbidden, transgressive nature of it rather than any actual physical pleasure. Also I would very much doubt it was ever actually done before the urban legend itself was fabricated.

A quite boring rumour about Marc Almond is that he brought the drug ecstasy from America to England and introduced it to the gay techno scene. And I think the Thomas and Way podcast has a rumour about John Barrowman popping some ecstacy up his hoop. All nonsense I'm sure but somewhat enjoyable.

JesusAndYourBush

Does anyone had a screenshot of Lisa Stansfield's denial on Twitter when someone asked about it?  Last time the subject came up the tweet was already long gone.  (All I remember is she spelled poo as pooh.)

JesusAndYourBush

One I heard before the internet was that Sylvester Stallone still had his radio mic on when he went back to his trailer with a makeup girl, and was heard to say "Cup my balls... cup them... cup my balls."  By the time I'd got on the internet the story had mutated into "Cradle the balls, work the shaft."

Jittlebags

Was the Una Stubbs one glass table based?

Anyway. Carol Decker's jizzy clothing drawer, Hugh Fearnley Whotsinsam's hairjob fetish, Debbie Mc Gee's c****e capers. Lisa Stansfield's special choc ice freezer. Edward VII' 7 consecutive houses on the Thames for his mistresses.

notjosh

Quote from: Jittlebags on April 19, 2021, 01:39:41 AM
Was the Una Stubbs one glass table based?

The glass table one I've heard is Slade - who for some reason had run out of money to pay for their flights back from a gig in Berlin.

non capisco

I heard the gerbil rumour in the late 80s about Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe before I heard it about Richard Gere, "that's why they're called the Pet Shop Boys, pet shop means their arses" according to The Playground's Michael Hack. It was taken as read that every time they were performing on television their sphincters were crammed chock-a-block with rodents. I think it was probably their famously stoic on stage demeanours that made me..erm...smell a rat. "Think how much they must have practiced to be able to stand that still" was the rejoinder.

Kankurette

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on April 18, 2021, 12:39:31 PM
Is there a name for things that had urban legend status before the internet, but are now commonly know facts?

Alien and the Hovis advert having the same director.
The chorus of I Am The Walrus being about Eric Burdon's fetish for having eggs cracked on him.
Charlie Chaplin's Benny Hill collection.
Terrible UK celebrities and morgue access in return for charity work.
And Captain Beefheart being named after his uncle's knob.

Marilyn Manson also allegedly had two ribs removed so he could suck himself off, and Stevie Nicks had a roadie blow coke up her arse with a straw.

jobotic

Quote from: Jittlebags on April 19, 2021, 01:39:41 AM
Debbie Mc Gee's c****e capers.

Cardie? Carlisle? Corniche? Crunchie?

Paul Calf

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 10:02:24 AM
Stevie Nicks had a roadie blow coke up her arse with a straw.

I heard that was Cher.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 10:02:24 AM
Stevie Nicks had a roadie blow coke up her arse with a straw.

Does that work as in getting high?

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: Butchers Blind on April 21, 2021, 10:44:03 AM
Does that work as in getting high?

Thin skin, I would say the proclivity for high speed absorption would be a high probability.

Paul Calf

Yeah, it does. Really well. Mucous membranes.

Buelligan

So... if you put a gerbil up there first... what happens then, Paul?

Paul Calf

Would't work. Gerbils are notorious coke hoovers, the little sluts.

Kankurette

The gerbil turns into a cokehead. And I've heard of women shoving Ecstasy tablets up their vaginas, I wonder if it's the same principle.
Quote from: Paul Calf on April 21, 2021, 10:33:44 AM
I heard that was Cher.
Not heard the Cher version. Nicks claims it's bullshit because she's a massive prude and she wouldn't let some random bloke see her arse.

Paul Calf


PlanktonSideburns

interesting how many of these are childeren unconciously repeating homophobic and mysogonistic propaganda

Buelligan

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 10:53:08 AM
Nicks claims it's bullshit because she's a massive prude and she wouldn't let some random bloke see her arse.

What a weird woman, she must miss out on a whole world of rodent and drug-related fun. 

Kankurette

I read about the woman shoving Ecstasy up her twat in Cosmo. Another woman in the same article snorted coke off her boyfriend's knob.

Does Cosmo still do weird sex stories or is it all about Instagram now?

Buelligan

Don't ask me I've never read Cosmopolitan, more of a Private Eye girl when print media was a thing.

JaDanketies

you don't just want to shove a pill up your arse. You need to dissolve it in a teeny bit of water first.  I assume this is also the case for putting an ecstasy tablet inside your vagina but I've never needed to google it - not my problem

Buelligan

It may surprise you to know, I literally do not wish to shove a pill up my arse despite living in France all these years.

Fr.Bigley

What if you are in an Edinburgh bookies and you've a morphine suppository to retrieve?

Kankurette

I had to google the old CAB urban legends thread as I'd never heard the one about Lisa Stansfield's alleged coprophilia, and the thread mentioned Purple Aki, who is a real person - I know people who've met him and he's been spotted in Manchester as well. Apparently he stalked David Unsworth (former Everton player known as 'Rhino' due to being a big beefy type, now manages the U23s) and Unsworth had to get security because of it.

Catatonia used to perpetuate this urban legend about how they formed. Cerys was busking in Cardiff and singing a Spanish song, and Mark Roberts saw that her guitar had a string missing and, what do you know, he happened to have the string she needed. They did used to busk together in Cardiff but the string story is sadly bollocks.

Someone else in that thread mentioned a colleague sending around a bullshit chain email about terrorists. When I was a legal secretary, my boss forwarded one of those horrible emails about the James Bulger case, about Venables and Thompson shoving batteries up his arse and that sort of thing. Fuck knows how true it was but I thought it was very unprofessional, using the company email to send that crap.

Jittlebags

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 11:00:58 AM
Another woman in the same article snorted coke off her boyfriend's knob.

Hope he gave it a quick polish first. You wouldn't want bits of cock-cheese stuck in your nose.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 10:53:08 AMNicks claims it's bullshit because she's a massive prude and she wouldn't let some random bloke see her arse.

I tend to believe her. Carole Ann Harris's book about FM and her own relationship with Lindsey Buckingham [nb]C'mon Lindsey. Don't be like that[/nb] doesn't mention it, even though there's plenty of Nicks dissing and coke stories.

non capisco

I think the coke up the aris story goes back as far as the golden age of Hollywood. Isn't it mentioned in Kenneth Anger's Hollywood Babylon about someone? It's certainly attributed to more people than Stevie Nicks in the 'modern' era as I first heard it about Naomi Campbell.

The Crumb

There were stories at uni of the rugby lads sticking vodka soaked tampons up their arses. Got them drunk quicker, apparently.

Paul Calf

Quote from: The Crumb on April 21, 2021, 02:27:37 PM
There were stories at uni of the rugby lads sticking vodka soaked tampons up their arses. Got them drunk quicker, apparently.

I'm not sure how you'd even do that; a sodden tampon has no integrity. It'd be like thumbing in a whisky dick at 3am.