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Richard Gere's arse gerbil...

Started by Fr.Bigley, April 18, 2021, 11:09:31 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: The Crumb on April 21, 2021, 02:27:37 PM
There were stories at uni of the rugby lads sticking vodka soaked tampons up their arses. Got them drunk quicker, apparently.

And produced a bigger flame.

steve98

Quote from: Paul Calf on April 21, 2021, 02:31:02 PM
I'm not sure how you'd even do that; a sodden tampon has no integrity. It'd be like thumbing in a whisky dick at 3am.

Freeze it... no, that wouldn't work (vodka doesn't freeze... unless you have a (No, that wouldn't work either.) Forget it.)

The Crumb

Quote from: Paul Calf on April 21, 2021, 02:31:02 PM
I'm not sure how you'd even do that; a sodden tampon has no integrity. It'd be like thumbing in a whisky dick at 3am.

Quite. Everyone knows a funnel is the pro's choice.

Cuellar

You could just ram it up there with a stick like loading a musket

Fr.Bigley

Rugby Lads are always doing gay shit. Homosexuality thinly vailed as fraternity.

JaDanketies

Quote from: Paul Calf on April 21, 2021, 02:31:02 PM
I'm not sure how you'd even do that; a sodden tampon has no integrity. It'd be like thumbing in a whisky dick at 3am.

is all a load of bullshit urban legend. You can't fit enough vodka on a tampon. Just bypass the tampon and then you're talking.

Also interestingly, the motive for vodka-soaked tampons is so that your breath doesn't smell of booze and so you might bypass a breathalyser, but did you know that breathalysers work because alcohol is a volatile solvent that seeps out into the air out of the capillaries in your lungs? So your breath could still smell like booze even if you butt-chugg it. First time I learned that, imagining a volatile solvent roaring through your bloodstream and then literally evaporating out of your lungs like you're taking the lid off some amyl nitrates - it made me want to give up alcohol for literally hours.

Video Game Fan 2000

#66
I have no reason to doubt the eye witness stories of proudly heterosexual group wanks and spunk eating relayed to me by the same lads who often gave me a dead arm for growing my hair out and liking Bjork

Quote from: The Crumb on April 21, 2021, 02:27:37 PM
There were stories at uni of the rugby lads sticking vodka soaked tampons up their arses. Got them drunk quicker, apparently.

so they could drunk drive a van around without getting arrested. we were told by the 'ealth and safety speaker that warned us against night swimming that this had been attempted and resulted in a hospital trip from campus - it doesnt work, but it forms a very irritating and abrasive wad that is extremely hard to remove

even more doubful ones involved rectal vaporisers


steve98

Wantin' to get high I tried a couple of Tramadol up the arse once (to avoid irritating my stomach ulcer). Didn't work: an hour later I did a poo and the capsules were still almost completely intact. Later I tried dispersing the capsule's contents (Not the same capsules) in a little water, and injected that rectally (Using an eye-dropper). That didn't work either: the fluid (the gear) just dribbled out.

Fr.Bigley

May I remind you Ladies and Gentleman, That this isn't the rectal thread..Please refrain from anecdotal arse play as it is distracting the "others".


steve98

I just don't want "the others" makin' the same mistakes I did.

JaDanketies

A fully saturated light tampon can hold up to 3 mL of fluid, while a fully saturated super tampon may hold up to 12 mL (3,8).

a lot of hassle for half a shot.

Video Game Fan 2000

These rugby lads tho
You should see their mams

They'd need soap on a rope with a bail of hay at the other end.

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on April 21, 2021, 03:19:01 PM
May I remind you Ladies and Gentleman, That this isn't the rectal thread..Please refrain from anecdotal arse play as it is distracting the "others".

Pipe down Levinas we're doing tampon bits

Icehaven

Quote from: Bernice on April 18, 2021, 11:25:15 AM
I swear I read on an ancient thread here once a rumour that Barbara Windsor had ruined her bum and had to go round wearing a "bumpon" to stop the leakage.

That may have been posted by me. My best mate at Uni told me a friend of his from home's dad was Barbara Windsor's doctor, and that's where he'd heard it from. Of course a doctor would share confidential (not to mention highly embarrassing) medical information about celebrity patients with his teenage son, goes without saying.
I've never heard it anywhere else so I suspect it's something my mate and his friends cooked up to see how far they could get a rumour to go.

Video Game Fan 2000

Was it Joanna Lumley or Barbara Windsor who was supposed to have a mahogany ring piece

steve98

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on April 21, 2021, 03:28:52 PM
These rugby lads tho
You should see their mams

They'd need soap on a rope with a bail of hay at the other end.

Pipe down Levinas we're doing tampon bits

As a keen player I resent the implication that rugby players' mothers have commodious fannys. Overly commodious.

Video Game Fan 2000

When we said 'like a railway tunnel' we didn't mean the train went through sideways

Jittlebags

My local rugby club used to have an official called The Foreskin Retractor, whose duty was to pull a victim's Kojak's roll-neck back prior to application of some oil of wintergreen as some sort of forfeit. Possibly as punishment for not eating the biscuit after losing the biscuit game.

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 11:00:58 AM
I read about the woman shoving Ecstasy up her twat in Cosmo. Another woman in the same article snorted coke off her boyfriend's knob.

Does Cosmo still do weird sex stories or is it all about Instagram now?

Yeah, they still do stuff like "I joined a swingers group to get noticed by a potential employer", plus their "best sex I ever had" obviously made up stories like the ones you get in porn mags but with more cunnilingus.

Kankurette

Quote from: Echo Valley 2-6809 on April 21, 2021, 02:15:23 PM
I tend to believe her. Carole Ann Harris's book about FM and her own relationship with Lindsey Buckingham [nb]C'mon Lindsey. Don't be like that[/nb] doesn't mention it, even though there's plenty of Nicks dissing and coke stories.
Nicks has done so much coke she has a hole in her septum, and it's wide enough to thread a belt through. So does Francis Rossi. He pulled a handkerchief through it as a kind of party piece.

Ray Travez

#79
Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on April 18, 2021, 02:29:41 PM
Prince had two ribs removed.

I heard it was Marilyn Manson who had two of his ribs removed, so that he could use them to play the xylophone.

Edit- as confirmed by Kankurette

Sebastian Cobb

Cliff Richard on a colostomy bag.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 06:55:10 PM
Nicks has done so much coke she has a hole in her septum, and it's wide enough to thread a belt through.

Aside from the stuff she took before a concert there was a tray full of beer-bottle caps filled with coke and kept at the back of the stage so that each band member could refresh themselves when the focus was on someone else. Might have fuelled some of her wig-outs during Rhiannon, for example.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on April 21, 2021, 07:17:09 PM
Cliff Richard on a colostomy bag.

I think he successfully sued the NME when they brought that up, amongst other insults.

Dex Sawash


Kankurette

Quote from: Dex Sawash on April 21, 2021, 09:40:19 PM
Laurence Fox smells of shit
This is for urban legends, not truth.

Apparently sticking an alcohol-soaked tampon up your batcave can give you STDs. No, I haven't tried it and I never will, it's a waste of good vodka.

steve98

Quote from: Kankurette on April 21, 2021, 09:52:06 PM
This is for urban legends, not truth.

Apparently sticking an alcohol-soaked tampon up your batcave can give you STDs. No, I haven't tried it and I never will, it's a waste of good vodka.

Use shit vodka then (It's not like your gonna taste it)

Kankurette

I wouldn't even put Vodkat in my vagina. It would give me crabs.

steve98

You must do what you think is right for you. (I wish I had the option of a vagina to shove my tramadol up where it might have some effect.)

famethrowa

Quote from: steve98 on April 21, 2021, 11:06:02 PM
Use shit vodka then

One shit vodka coming up! Shaken not stirred, oooh pardon *jiggles arse over highball glass*