New Centaurs for 2021

[Corduroy Castle]

After a year of ABJECT MISERY what better way to make happy than to treat yourself to one of the new exciting range of CENTAUR for 2021

Last year saw the release of some classics (Mustang Martin Grundle Complainer, The Volkspony Growler, Gunk V6) and 2021 is set to be a CLACKER.

All eyes are on the LANDMARK HORSE PEOPLE hitting DEALERSHIPS this SPRING.

What new for homo equus, for the tramplers and the hoof caddies? Where to go for mule men and lady neighs? The MARKET for HORSE FUCKERS is BOOMING like a thousand stampede trample march

Present informations about CENTAURS coming soon in 2021


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1. THE PALOMINO STATESMANE

Classic fatline model mostly naked with spewing faeces attachment

Will not shut up about "WHY ARE THE COUNCIL RESURFACING OUR CUL DE SAC WHEN THE MAIN ROAD OUTSIDE IS FULL OF HOLES DEEP AS THE MINES OF FUCKING MORIA"

"breuhgh"



Suitable for a retired, or just relaxed, jeb end - neeped in the tatties, a chill downwind ponce, or for those days you feel like bombing Market Rasen into rubble.


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2. SCREAMING AGUE H-TRON

Sleek, urbane, inspired by the mimsy woo willy cunt fucking twee bastards down at the Pollard Epoxy Plant where they seem to churn SHIT like this out by the gallon like it was fucking banana milk shake

you'll be the BELL of the BALLS with this GRACEFUL VISION of FEMININE POISE and GRACE



"breee"

oh look its a woman i hope i don't get in trouble


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3. BELMLEY BALACLAVA

King of the horse mens, weighing in at 2 tonnes and packing a lunchbox of up to SIX MILES PER CHEWIT get on the crack there's a new sheriff in town
and it's name is called this luxurious toaster of hair and mucus

You'll want to PUNCH it in the FACE but it's PROTECTED.



"gimp arms"


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4. LOVELY STUFF

Plug-in pugwash hybrid shit straight from the kiln into the sizzlin market place
pheremone goblin that operates in any kind of nightmare
Sanctioned by MICHAEL BALL at PINCER CHARLES TRUST GALA 2019 and still on the piss
turns your heart into a baking pine cone of disease wittled rot at the flick of an eye lash
delicately carpeted with furry spunk in Shropshire



"mewnf"

these things are flying off the shop floor so get your skippies on
and let's GUNT each other into HELL


coming soon

EROTIC MILK TANKERS
BIG SAUSAGEY TITS MASHED TOGETHER
TOYOTA BARSE CRUISER
DIARRHOEA RODEOS

and many much of it more like this

[Glebe]

That's an impressive array. All I could find is 'Michael Centaur'.