Salt Bae is a gimmicky, irritating, winds-me-right-up cunt.

[Paul Calf]

Lifts it up, puts it back down again.  Legend.

Because rubbing his bare skin against your salt isn't quite unhygienic enough.

[seepage]

Yay! A London branch is opening on 17^th May: https://london.eater.com/22321563/salt-bae-restaurant-nusret-london-opening-date-knightsbridge

You lucky people!

[Fr.Bigley]

It'll fail. But it won't wil it. You'll have all the UK YouTube lot and the fucking footballers all frequenting the place taking selfies with the twat. Give me strength.

[seepage]

I can't find a wine list on his pigging website. I wonder what corkage they charge for BYOB?

[touchingcloth]

It'll fail. But it won't wil it. You'll have all the UK YouTube lot and the fucking footballers all frequenting the place taking selfies with the twat. Give me strength.

Via that article, it sounds like as well as filthing up food with his elbows, he also likes to stick his salty fingers in the serving staff's tip jar: Salt wanker confirmed as a cunt

[falafel]

I dunno, the giant gold cock and balls looks tasty

[phantom_power]

I think this shows the myth of rich people being intelligent and good with money and therefore deserving of their fortune for what it is. A load of bollocks. I imagine most people who eat there have never worked a day in their life

[Fr.Bigley]

Via that article, it sounds like as well as filthing up food with his elbows, he also likes to stick his salty fingers in the serving staff's tip jar: Salt wanker confirmed as a cunt

What a cunt.

[Fr.Bigley]

I imagine most people who eat there have never worked a day in their life

Hey, being a tuber, insta influencer, tik tok cunt is really, really hard! You can catch my upcoming vlog about how my day works next week..

THANKS GUUUUUUUUYS!

[falafel]

Or does this give the lie to the truth-seekers, the philosophers, the wine-tasters, the erstwhile El Bulli acolytes, who yearn to see what wondrous light it is that casts such mesmerising shadows, who listen with finely attuned tongues for the music of the spheres? Is all life just spectacle? Are elaborate suspensions and savoury ice creams and fine single malts just a thin veneer of gold leaf on the factory farmed bleach-sterilised oversalted sirloin that is our desperate, famished lot?

[falafel]

Yes

[phantom_power]

Hey, being a tuber, insta influencer, tik tok cunt is really, really hard! You can catch my upcoming vlog about how my day works next week..

THANKS GUUUUUUUUYS!

I was thinking more trust fund cunts but potato potato

[phantom_power]

Or does this give the lie to the truth-seekers, the philosophers, the wine-tasters, the erstwhile El Bulli acolytes, who yearn to see what wondrous light it is that casts such mesmerising shadows, who listen with finely attuned tongues for the music of the spheres? Is all life just spectacle? Are elaborate suspensions and savoury ice creams and fine single malts just a thin veneer of gold leaf on the factory farmed bleach-sterilised oversalted sirloin that is our desperate, famished lot?

No. Good food is good but that shit looks like something you would get from Frankie and Benny's

[falafel]

That's all we deserve

[seepage]

I'm surprised none of those example bills included the wanker's drink of choice, Ace of Spades fizz. Perhaps because they know the cost in a nightclub, and while absolutely daft, even they baulked at the mark-up here. 

[Replies From View]

Because rubbing his bare skin against your salt isn't quite unhygienic enough.

He's sliding the salt down all the parts of his arms that he sneezes on, collecting up all the flu spores and the covids.  What's not to admire?

[Paul Calf]

I can't find a wine list on his pigging website. I wonder what corkage they charge for BYOB?

Considering they sell Glenfiddich at £2000 a litre (pro-rated) I doubt it's going to be a bargain.

[idunnosomename]

Wrap a bottle of Cloudy Bay in gold leaf

[Ferris]

Great scam. Bring your whole gauche crew down to spend £1000 of your parents' money on a meal primarily engaged with through your phone screen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIVFw1EuK2w

Every part of this is awful. What is wrong with these people.

[phantom_power]

They are cunts

[touchingcloth]

I can't find a wine list on his pigging website. I wonder what corkage they charge for BYOB?

Free if you use your own elbow, $1,000 for him to use his. There are no non-elbow options. "May I bring Guy Garvey and ask him to use his elbow?" I am afraid you may not.

[Fr.Bigley]

If Guy Harvey was confronted with that bill, and he'd had a few too many boddingtons (he would, wouldn't he?) I'd imagine the big hairy fella would tek this cunt outside and give him a right good pasting, albeit ripping his favourite Ben Sherman shirt in the process.

Makes you think.

[touchingcloth]

Every part of this is awful. What is wrong with these people.

I wonder how long it took for those people to feel empty and hollow when they realised that the moment of elbow salting lasted less than 5 seconds and once over they were left with an average steak at a substantial markup and, as a kicker, they had to deal with eating it in fucking Dubai.

A rhetorical question, of course; it's not possible for these people to become more than infinitely empty and hollow.

"Are you having a good time, son?"

"I filmed it on my phone."

"Yes, but are you having a good time, son?"

"I mimed the elbow thing."

"Yes, I saw, but are you hav...yeah, you did mime the elbow thing. That's a thing you did."

"Shall we visit him in Las Vegas next holibobs?"

"Let's."

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

For that money I'd also expect him to drizzle tomato ketchup down his cock onto the plate.

[Kankurette]

So have I got this right? A bloke whose photo became a meme is charging lots of money to sprinkle salt down his arm onto people's food?

[touchingcloth]

So have I got this right? A bloke whose photo became a meme is charging lots of money to sprinkle salt down his arm onto people's food?

Correct. And I've got news for you, pal: you'd best buckle up, cos that's the rest of the world for the rest of your life. Enjoy it.

[Paul Calf]

For that money I'd also expect him to drizzle tomato ketchup down his cock onto the plate.

For that money, I'll do it.

[Kankurette]

Correct. And I've got news for you, pal: you'd best buckle up, cos that's the rest of the world for the rest of your life. Enjoy it.

Good thing I have no intention of giving the cunt my money.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

The Salt Bae meme was five years ago, FFS.

Next thread should be about numa numa or goatse.

[Kankurette]

For £1000, you too can eat steak served directly from the Goatse man's gaping bumhole.