Your dad is "just vibing" on Instagram.

[Glebe]

Your dad says he is "just vibing" on Instagram, which by the way he refers to as "The Instantgram". I've never been so embarrassed in my life, not since your great uncle Aubrey "gave a shout out on this My Spaces on the information superway" in 2006.

[frajer]

He left himself logged in and didn't realise he was "live", which is why he kept flopping open his gown and scratching his ballsack.

Apology live stream in 12 hours.

Vibing resumes at noon.

[Glebe]

He left himself logged in and didn't realise he was "live", which is why he kept flopping open his gown and scratching his ballsack.

Apology live stream in 12 hours.

Vibing resumes at noon.

'Hi guys, your dad back again! I've just been chillaxing in the crib, it's amazeballs as the kids are all saying right now! Really big fan of Katy Perry, the latest pop sensation who is soothing this old guys ears! Catch you later, dudes!'

[frajer]

Just seen dad's Amazon wishlist and it's got rollerskates on.

Please, please no-one buy him these, no matter what reward levels he promises you.

[Glebe]

Just seen dad's Amazon wishlist and it's got rollerskates on.

Please, please no-one buy him these, no matter what reward levels he promises you.

"Deely boppers too! Gonna relive m'childhood!"

[frajer]

"Deely boppers too! Gonna relive m'childhood!"

7.11pm
"Heyyy there pop pickers, it's me - yer dad! The world's dad. Dadding all over the world haha! Now I've heard a rumour my son doesn't want me to get them roller boots I've got my eye on. Now he's a good lad but he just doesn't get it. Old before his time. Not like his dad! Foreverrrrr young! Ok, serious face on: Get me them roller boots. It will be very much worth your while. You haven't even had a sniff of the moves I can bust with them hanging off my milk bottles. "Content" up to the gills. Ok? Ok. Now what do I press. Ehmmmm. Hmm. Yep that's in the cloud. Well done dad."

[Glebe]

8:02PM

"Pant... guys, you can't see me cos I'm breakdancing on the floor in parachute pants! Can't touch dis!"

[frajer]

5:02am

"Hello Instagramalamadingdongs! Shit shit, too loud. Your mum's asleep and if she doesn't get her 8 hours it's my buttocks in the grinder all day long. Don't need that on a Thursday. Was going to do a coffee review but the Nespresso's on the blink. So I'm having tea, which I give three stars. You betcha ass I'll do an unboxing video of the new Espresso when it gets here. Tracking shows as ehhhhhhhmmm "dispatched" so reckon that'll be a Friday treat. Put it in your Goggle calendars, you utter leg ends! Bye for now! Alexa, upload. Alexa, upload, Alexa. Alexa upload. Oh cripes Alexa keep it down don't wake your mum up."

[Glebe]

16:20

"Yo m'crew, just out of bed! Gonna pop the percolator on and get some Pink going on the iPod! Another busy day! Dingly-dangly-doo!"

[frajer]

3.00pm

"Livestream time! Yer dad - streaming in your faces! It's Friyay, at bloody last, so how has your week been? Send me one of the yellow smiling faces if it was good. And one of them yellow crying lads it was not so good. Ok no responses so far... so they've probably all been 'ok!'"

[Glebe]

22:06

"Hey guys, just been jerkin' off to some hardcore porn! Fuck me, some the stuff that pops up is disgusting, and some of those girls are young enough to be my daughters! I am overcome with guilt and shame, tbh! Yes, I said 'tbh!"