Star signs and first dates

[holyzombiejesus]

I am a Scorpio and that is that.

[Buelligan]

I'm not, not really, I'm a liar.

[Blue Jam]

I think there must be something in this astrology lark because I'm a Virgo and I'm really into snooker. Spooky.

[bgmnts]

I'm a Libra and i'm always tipping the scales when I get on.

Spooky.

[Butchers Blind]

I knew someone who was all in on this stuff. Had proper readings done by some charlatan and was happy to hand over money for it. Found out a few years ago she died in a car accident, not sure if that came up in one of her predictions.

[dissolute ocelot]

My star sign isn't compatible with myself. I'm basically doomed.

[Endicott]

Just had this ad pop up:



Is it accurate?

There's an elephant in the room there, and it ain't nothing to do with star signs. Paging Jockice, paging Jockice, Jockice to thread please.

[touchingcloth]

I knew someone who was all in on this stuff. Had proper readings done by some charlatan and was happy to hand over money for it. Found out a few years ago she died in a car accident, not sure if that came up in one of her predictions.

Was she driving a Ford Taurus?

[Better Midlands]

There's an elephant in the room there, and it ain't nothing to do with star signs.

Cancer was seeing Leo on the side whilst in a relationship with Libra unbeknownst to Libra, Libra has just found out that he's not the natural father of the baby - boy is he angry.

[touchingcloth]

Cancer + Libra look like a typical ITV family.

[Blue Jam]

Scorpio is the sexiest star sign isn't it? I never liked being a Virgo because it sounds like the least sexy one, but now I realise it's still sexier than Cancer.

Actually "I'm a Virgo" is just a socially acceptable way of saying "I was a Christmas mistake" isn't it?

[Quote]

I'd often flick through my Nan's astrology books when bored as a teen, and I remember the first two examples of 'famous Taureans' (my sign) were listed as Adolf Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

Apart from the genocides we're basically pretty chilled.

[holyzombiejesus]

Scorpio is the sexiest star sign isn't it?

Yes, it is.

[Camp Tramp]

I'm a Snake.

[Consignia]

Just had this ad pop up:



Is it accurate?

The only fact here is that ad is Cancer + AIDS.

[TrenterPercenter]

Scorpio is the sexiest star sign isn't it? I never liked being a Virgo because it sounds like the least sexy one, but now I realise it's still sexier than Cancer.

Nah Virgo is one of the sexiest (maiden and also the original first sign)

Gemini - twins (yeah think again laaaaads; actually two weird looking male twins Castor and Pollux)
Pisces - fish
Sagittarius - bearded man that is also half horse
Cancer - crab
Libra - judgy Mcjudgy pants
Capricorn - posh goat(se)
Aries - troubled sheep
Aquarius - incontinent man with piss pot
Taurus - bull, likely smelly
Leo - perhaps but it's still wrong
Scorpio - sexual sting is it? ever been stung by a scorpion? there is very little that is sexual about it.

[holyzombiejesus]

Nah Virgo is one of the sexiest (maiden and also the original first sign)

I'm afraid THE FACTS contradict you.

How to drive a Virgo crazy in bed

Setting the mood

No matter what your gender is use a cologne or perfume to heighten their senses ( don't use to much). Take the time to pick a really good place to have the intimate moment.

The things that they love

This individual is not one that usually likes to have spare of the moment sexual encounters. They really like things to be planned out a little bit so it's important to organize or arrange the sexual moments .When all of the details are etched out ahead of time that will impress them, and it will put them more at ease to be able to enjoy the pleasures that await them.

What not to do

This is a sign that really puts a lot of emphasis on being with a person that takes care of themselves. They know that nobody is perfect, But it's very important for you to show up for the encounter as neat as you can possibly be.This honestly could be the make-it-or-break-it thing as to whether or not they feel attracted to you in a bedroom or sexual setting.

Tying it up

Virgo in bed is a picture of refined decorum. Sexual Virgo prefers a more toned-down encounter without too much mess and outrageousness. While Virgo is willing to experiment once in a while, this sign prefers to stick to routine and keep it in the bedroom.

i.e. a square.

Whereas...

[spaghetamine]

last time i went on a date she brought up star signs within the first ten minutes, it didn't work out

[TrenterPercenter]

Reads as though it was written by Trump about himself.

[touchingcloth]

Nah Virgo is one of the sexiest (maiden and also the original first sign)

Gemini - twins (yeah think again laaaaads; actually two weird looking male twins Castor and Pollux)
Pisces - fish
Sagittarius - bearded man that is also half horse
Cancer - crab
Libra - judgy Mcjudgy pants
Capricorn - posh goat(se)
Aries - troubled sheep
Aquarius - incontinent man with piss pot
Taurus - bull, likely smelly
Leo - perhaps but it's still wrong
Scorpio - sexual sting is it? ever been stung by a scorpion? there is very little that is sexual about it.

You forgot Ophwoaricus

[Blue Jam]

How to drive a Virgo crazy in bed

...tell him where the cue ball is going?

[Blue Jam]

I reckon Jet was more of a goer.

[bgmnts]

Not generally very athletic, very in tune with his intellectual side, creative and sensitive. He is really very fair, concerned with justice to the point of obsession. He likes to make everyone happy. The Libra guy has very acute intuition in a sense having X-ray spy vision, so don't try to pull anything over this one. Women are rarely good enough and he can never make up his mind if he should date this one or that. But he can be a real pushover if the woman (or man) is confident and in control. Libra men especially like flattery. And they like to please a woman (or man), if you know what I mean.

Me down to a tee, tbh.

[drummersaredeaf]

The way to test this definitively is to declare your star sign and whether you like a finger up the bum.

Virgo. Yes.

[touchingcloth]

The way to test this definitively is to declare your star sign and whether you like a finger up the bum.

Virgo. Yes.

Cancer. No; I don't get into bed for less than a fist.

[mothman]

Actually "I'm a Virgo" is just a socially acceptable way of saying "I was a Christmas mistake" isn't it?

I think my birthday roughly correlates to nine months after my mum's, so thanks for making me think of that.

[Attila]

My sister (Librar) turned 18 on 6 October 1968, and my nephew (cancer) made his appearance on 1 July 1969.

My sister tried to convince my mother (cancer) that my nephew was a 9 lb twelve-week-premature baby (cos the wedding was in late January, like the 29th, I think, 1969).

Not apropos of anything really  except I vividly remember my militantly Catholic mother going absolutely apeshit and 'I have no daughter!' on my sister.