Looking to eat the oldest tree in existence

[Replies From View]

Hi I'm looking to eat the oldest tree that is still in existence.  Individual tree, please, not an ancient organism that comprises many newer trees at the surface of this earth.  I am only interested in having the oldest tree right there in front of me then getting it all inside my mouth and tummy, yum!


Who's gonna help me research this.  Gonna be a blast!!

[Lemming]

The Great Basin Bristlecone Pine can live to over 5000 years old, apparently, making it your best bet.

Looks like shit, though. It's going to taste like dogshit, and not in a good way.

[Replies From View]

By your logic, if I am eating a month-old baby I am eating someone aged 105 years, because humans "can" live up to that age.



Sourcing for me the oldest tree in existence would be grand

[pancreas]

Can I have some?

[Replies From View]

Can I have some?

My ambition is to eat an entire one of it.  I believe that if I share any I won't be getting the full benefit.

[Glebe]

[Replies From View]

If it's not a tree then why is it assuming this has anything to do with it.

[Glebe]

If it's not a tree then why is it assuming this has anything to do with it.

Mind y'business!

[Replies From View]

Mind y'business!

Excuse me... I am looking to eat the oldest tree in existence.  I don't know what those things have to do with it if they're not trees.  They're getting defensive about something that doesn't concern them.  If they're not trees then I wasn't addressing them, was I.  Their reaction just makes them seem guilty, if anything.

[Glebe]

Excuse me... I am looking to eat the oldest tree in existence.  I don't know what those things have to do with it if they're not trees.  They're getting defensive about something that doesn't concern them.  If they're not trees then I wasn't addressing them, was I.  Their reaction just makes them seem guilty, if anything.

You're in luck, Replies! Just found and ancient oak in Staffordshire that dates back 1,000 years! Enjoy!

[Replies From View]

Is it the oldest tree in existence?

[Glebe]

Is it the oldest tree in existence?

Oldest tree I could find, mate. Oldest tree I could find.

[Replies From View]

Oldest tree I could find, mate. Oldest tree I could find.

Hi so I am looking to eat the oldest tree in existence if anyone can help me at all

[Glebe]

Hi so I am looking to eat the oldest tree in existence if anyone can help me at all

Yeah just as well mate turns out it was just another 'human' tree!

[Replies From View]

Bollocks to you with your wilful time wasting.  I have one simple ambition with this thread and you keep scuffing dust onto it.

[Glebe]

Bollocks to you with your wilful time wasting.  I have one simple ambition with this thread and you keep scuffing dust onto it.

Listen sunshine I'm not the one looking to eat the oldest tree in existence. That's a pretty lofty ambition, you're just gonna have to take the knocks and bumps as you go.

[Replies From View]

I don't like your answers.  Next person please.

[Glebe]

This any one else have an answer for this jerk?

[Replies From View]

I said no thank you to further interruptions from you

[Glebe]

Enjoy your freaking Oldest Tree in Existence... all crumbly.