Local news: dog eats toddler's shit and then wipes its arse with its fur

[holyzombiejesus]

Ms Goodhart said: "It was a beautiful day at Hardcastle Crags, as ever, and we'd gone and done the usual plodding around.

"Walking back up the steep above Gibson Mill got the inevitable "Mummy, I need a poo" from the little one.

"We were out of sight and out of the way behind a tree and so I whipped his kecks down and dangled him over a nice mossy area so he couldn't be seen.

"So he was in that dangling stage, when we'd had one happy thud on the ground but waiting for a possible second, when this dog appeared.

"It licked his bum and it sniffed at his bum and then it snuffled around beneath me. I could hear the owner calling his dog but it was too exciting for the dog and it couldn't handle it.

"Then it found the treasure that my toddler had left in the leaves and it just golloped it.

"Then as the dog ran back under my legs again it just did a full-on toilet paper dog-wipe underneath my boy's bottom.

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/horror-labrador-gobbles-up-toddler-20469464?fbclid=IwAR3_V85633APPPzCdeMSh3kQ_50J2-uaAkmjydN7MyUr_rWb0teou_MQkk4

[The Dog]

😡

[idunnosomename]

um. i dont think it's normal for toddlers to shit outside. a cheeky wee sure. but a poo? thats a health risk

[bgmnts]

There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start.

[PlanktonSideburns]

um. i dont think it's normal for toddlers to shit outside. a cheeky wee sure. but a poo? thats a health risk

Correct. The baby is the villain here, not Dog

[Video Game Fan 2000]

There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start.

A rosé with the toddler shit surely.

[JamesTC]

Nonce dog

[TrenterPercenter]

Shit eating nonce dog

FTFW

[touchingcloth]

Plodding.

Dog-wipe.

Happy thud.

Treasure.

Snuffled.

Gollop.


Mum wanker confirmed as Cunt.

[Fambo Number Mive]

The mother sounds a bit of an arse really. Would she have picked her child's poo up if the dog hadn't eaten it?

Hope the dog was ok after eating the poo and got a good bath when it got home.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That's so awful it's only right that everyone involved, including everyone who has read it, dies, which is good because I really would like to be dead now I have done.

[Butchers Blind]

It's the feel good story of the year! Everyone's a winner in this scenario. Kid has a lovely dump and dog gets a free meal.

[Fambo Number Mive]

And mother gets to talk about the happy thud of her son's turd in the paper.

[touchingcloth]

It's put me right off golloping my tea.

[JamesTC]

If a dog licked my arse clean, I'd get put on a list.

[Butchers Blind]

You have to ask, who trained the dog to do that? Time the finger was pointed at the owner.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Fenton!

[touchingcloth]

You have to ask, who trained the dog to do that? Time the finger was pointed at the owner.

It points at the parents giving their child a very meaty diet, I think. My dog's not arsed about herbivore shit, but show him some cat dirt or fox scat and he'll scarf it down without being asked twice. Or once.

[holyzombiejesus]

The mother sounds a bit of an arse really. Would she have picked her child's poo up if the dog hadn't eaten it?

On our local Facebook group, she stated "We were away from  people and behind trees so I dangled the boy's bum over a convenient patch of leaves, fully intending to bag and bin the inevitable result." She also stated "The owner eventually staggered up the steps and dragged the dog away by the collar, my parting shot "Your dog just ate human shit!" hopefully ringing in his ears, and the waft of excreted tuna sandwiches wafting off his dog" which seems a bit unnecessary really.

[Catalogue Trousers]

ip dip dog toddler shit

[checkoutgirl]

um. i dont think it's normal for toddlers to shit outside.

Er, very common in China I reckon.

[Darles Chickens]

Probably just some kind of comeuppance for the final scene of Pink Flamingos.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Woman's general turn of phase makes me a bit ill, and would do even if she wasn't talking about rampant coprophagous canines. Not a copywriter for innocent or similar by any chance?

[TrenterPercenter]

Hmmm thinking these dogs with a taste for human excrement could work well when the festivals get the go ahead again.

I'm thinking along the lines of "why walk to that stinking cubicle, which 100s of other fuckers have golloped their over-priced street fayre into, when one of our turd gobbling staffies will eat that shit straight out your anus from the mosh pit"

Has anyone got Egg Wallaces number? think he could be the ideal man to front this to investors.

[Cold Meat Platter]

And people wonder why no shit-munchers post on the forum.

[holyzombiejesus]

Not a copywriter for innocent or similar by any chance?

She lives in Hebden Bridge so yes, spiritually.

[touchingcloth]

Woman's general turn of phase makes me a bit ill, and would do even if she wasn't talking about rampant coprophagous canines. Not a copywriter for innocent or similar by any chance?

I started reading this as you talking about "woman" in the general sense.

[Dex Sawash]

Bear and rabbit joke has lost the plot

[Jittlebags]

Hmmm thinking these dogs with a taste for human excrement could work well when the festivals get the go ahead again.

That's just moving the problem downstream. Unless the dogs are specially trained to go to a central shit hub for laying their hound rope before returning to forage in the latrines.

[TrenterPercenter]

That's just moving the problem downstream. Unless the dogs are specially trained to go to a central shit hub for laying their hound rope before returning to forage in the latrines.

we will have a whole army of dogs in descending sizes operating in a canine-centipede supply line fashion.


So how many shares shall I put you down for?