Local news: dog eats toddler's shit and then wipes its arse with its fur

[Sebastian Cobb]

One of my mates in a time of need bolted off his tube and emptied his arse in a council block bin room on the way to work.

[holyzombiejesus]

One of my mates in a time of need bolted off his tube and emptied his arse in a council block bin room on the way to work.

"One of my mates". Sure.

[Better Midlands]

Any news from Mumsnet on this breaking story?

Well first they gave a tinkly laugh and now they're looking into the gender of the dog and sexual designation of the nice mossy space.

[Catalogue Trousers]

This is just the beginning. Dogs are going to get a taste for human shit. (As opposed to their own, other dogs', their own puke, other dogs' puke, anything else that they can bolt down without too much of a fight...)

We'll have packs of ravening hounds rampaging the nation, baying for hot, fresh human shite.

James Herbert, you should be alive at this hour.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Ms Goodhart thought it was 'nice and refreshing' because of the number of people on Facebook who 'rightly complain' about the amount of dog turd on the pavement.

"To have the tables turned a bit and be sending a dog home covered in toddler s**t rather than the other way round was a slightly beautiful moment," said Ms Goodhart.

Charming. Hope the dog is ok. Aside from not putting his dog on a lead, I don't see what the dog owner did wrong. Yea, the dog brushing up against the toddler's bum was not ideal and I hope the mother gives his bum a wash, but I'm more concerned about the dog.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The dog will be fine. It's quite common for dogs to roll in fox or horse shit. I think some of it is to hide their own scent. So this incident probably won't be as novel for the owner as she thinks it will be.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Guardian just now. Oh aye shaved Cujo. I bet you do.

[Ferris]

The only time I've been confident an al-fresco shit came from a human was when there was a pile of shitty napkins next to it.

That was in the steps at the end of North Bridge in Edinburgh.

If you think I'm going to apologize you're out of luck pal.

[TrenterPercenter]

One of my mates in a time of need bolted off his tube and emptied his arse in a council block bin room on the way to work.

I had a mate that one day told us about he had taken a shit at a bus stop; he was very proud of this and explained to us all how it was perfect because of the little bench you can rest your arseflaps on and defecate whilst you wait, for the bus.  We were all obviously somewhere between mortified and amazed (in the what the holy fuck are you saying mate fashion) and when he twigged on at our gasping faces, curled lips and someone said "how the fuck can you do that?" he said "nah it's fine, I've done it before"

Ok.

He has actually been for me one of the prime suspects in the recent case of a phantom pooer in our area.  This is all over our neighbourhood Facebook page at the moment (the stories not the pooing) as someone, and according to eye witness poo-ologists accounts "that is definitely a human", has been pooing in public places with the culprit, thus far, escaping detection.  Pretty deso all in all, but it did lead to some great conspiracy theories; and this wonderful post suggesting the MO had been seen before and was actually the reactivation of a previously dormant serial pooer from the previous Halloween.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Heh I was once absolutely shitfaced and had missed the bus home and ended up walking the 7 miles home along the dual carriage way. I was choking for a shit and genuinely considered dangling my arse over the crash barrier and curling one out.

Fair play that shitting in a pumpkin is kind of impressive.

[dissolute ocelot]

When I was about 8 or 10 we spent a lot of time playing in the woods near my house. I had a mate who was always going off for a shit in the bushes and wiping his arse with dock leaves, he was an expert on the whole leaf selection thing. I hope he had a serious bowel condition rather than a sexual fetish.

I've seen a shit on an Edinburgh bus, on the floor thankfully. Pretty sure it wasn't a dog's.

[holyzombiejesus]

In my teens, I used to spend a lot of time on the campus of Keele University as several of my friends had parents who lectured/ lived there. One of the boys, Gilbert, used to get up to loads of escapades with his shitting. Once he shit on a paper plate and smeared it over a car windscreen, once he stuck a banger in one of his turds and set it off and another time he did a shit in the pocket of a snooker table. It disgusts me now but at the time we thought they were such witty shenanigans.