Author Topic: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'  (Read 2032 times)

Paul Calf

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Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #30 on: April 30, 2021, 12:20:46 PM »
For some reason (probably security) my work issued MacBook turns itself off if I don’t log in within about five minutes of starting it up. It happened today so I just said “fucking hell!” out loud. Fortunately my colleagues are used to it. One time a particularly stupid email came in and I read it and said - conveniently just as there was a lull in the conversations around me - “Fuck off, and keep fucking off until you’ve fucked off forever!”

Actually turns itself off or goes to sleep?

SpiderChrist

  • "the law of averages says you'll survive"
Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #31 on: April 30, 2021, 12:29:27 PM »
Reading the Noel Clarke thread.

Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #32 on: April 30, 2021, 12:48:34 PM »
*involuntarily says "fucking hell"*

What is it with people acting like this towards serving staff? In various waitress/bar jobs I've done I've never had anything truly horrific, but I remember a few separate instances of customers threatening to get me arrested for not doing things to their liking

Once my Mrs refused to serve a pissed up customer, so he phoned the police on her, demanding they show up and force her to serve him booze. They did, and ended up tasing the fucker after he pulled a knife out on them.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #33 on: April 30, 2021, 01:51:41 PM »
MINT NIGHT

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #34 on: April 30, 2021, 02:04:30 PM »
An irate woman who'd just had her arse grabbed mistook my mate for the grabber and lobbed a drink over him (it definitely wasn't him, we were facing him as he was talking to us with his hands in front of him and didn't know anything about it until the woman was understandably kicking off). Unfortunately he was determined to protest his innocence to her, the bar staff, the bouncer and us on the way home after he'd been carted out by the scruff of the neck.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #35 on: April 30, 2021, 05:47:30 PM »
Actually turns itself off or goes to sleep?

I’m not sure. I have to press the button to start it again, and it displays the Apple logo and plays the Mac sound (as opposed to going back to the login screen) so I guess... the former?

H-O-W-L

  • Just A Number Ridin' Solo In The Code
Re: Why do we smile like dolls?
« Reply #36 on: April 30, 2021, 06:46:07 PM »
I'm told Michael Winner before he died became aware that restaurants were contaminating his food with body fluids and would only order food where he could deceive himself that the taste/appearance of the contaminants (semen, spit, shit etc (the 3 s's)) could be attributed to that dishes normal ingredients.

So, for example, if a particular dish smelled of vomit he would attribute it, not to the waiter, but to the sprinkled Parmesan he'd ordered on top. He'd regularly order Guam fruit-bat(pic), because it tasted of urine, or Chinese, bull's-penis soup, with its semen scent.

I expect finding a dish with ingredients tasting of shit was more of a challenge.


Winner's Roast Fruit-Bat

I honestly think this is bullshit made up by Winner to feel important. He made the Death Wish trilogy as well as a film (Parting Shots) where a character kills everyone he knew IRL that he disliked, so nothing was above the cunt to lie about honestly. I can imagine most chefs wouldn't give a shit and would instead serve Winner his cock on a plate untampered so he could dwell in his mediocrity. Such a fascist little bore he really was.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Times you have involuntarily said 'fucking hell'
« Reply #37 on: May 01, 2021, 05:11:12 PM »

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