The Great British Make Things and One Gets Eliminated Every Week Like Bake Off

[gilbertharding]

Thread about the Great Pottery Throwdown here: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,85474.0.html

But it's week three (probably) of the brilliant Sewing Bee competition, where people have to make clothes, and Joe Lycett, Patrick Grant and Esme Young watch and judge them. I'm not really sure who Esme Young is, but it's always funny how delighted she seems when someone makes an item of clothing which might be a bit risky to wear. Joe Lycett took the presenting role from Claudia Winkleman, I guess because she's gradually become too busy. He's good in the job - funny and warm towards the contestants. The judges have good chemistry, and similarly to the judges on the Pottery show, provide proper constructive feedback, and rarely resort to subjective matters of taste.

It's also week three (I think) of the awful All That Glitters, which is like the diametric opposite of the sewing and pottery versions. People make jewellery against the clock. So far, so fine. But the judges are awful. One of them (guess) is the dictionary definition of 'sullen', and is so subjective in their judging it's jaw-dropping. In week one, Katherine Ryan tried to console one contestant who was having a nightmare, with the words "You should have the confidence of a straight white man." I mean, fuck off.

[imitationleather]

I was going to go on a rant about how giving young people granny names has finally gone too far, but then I Googled and it turns out Esme Young is 72. Never mind.

[seepage]

The judges on All That Glitters bang on about accuracy and meeting the brief, but one week they then let the [better for telly?] 'bad boy' contestant through even though he'd failed to make what was asked for, at the expense of someone who had.   

[Bently Sheds]

I watched a couple of episodes of All That Glitters. In one episode  the jewellers had to make a "sweetheart brooch" for a guy to give to his armed forces wife who was going away on deployment. Its design needed to have a link with penguins, music, the Falklands, her regiment and their daughter's name (Holly) that were all significant things in her life. All the jewellers managed to include some aspect of these things - apart from one woman whose design looked like four silver hedgehog turds dangling from a silver bar. The judges absolutely loved it, gushing over how amazing it was (despite failing to have any link to the subjects in the brief). The guy took one with a penguin on it.

In another episode there was a design brief for a super-oversized ring made from alternative materials. A bloke made a fancy ring but was harshly criticised by the judges as he had managed to include "too many" of the design elements they requested in the brief.

[thugler]

The worst is the great british menu. Which I watch endlessly anyway for some reason.

First of all chefs from a specific region have to make a different course of a banquet and another more experienced chef critiques them and gives points, with the worst ones eliminated. The best ones from each region then go on to cook the same dishes for the judges. Who without exception have completely different taste preferences than the experienced chef who marked them in the first place, and so often hate the things the experienced chef liked. There's also the issue of the enforced 'theme' where the chefs have to give their dishes a name that represents musical heroes, or a scientific invention or something. This usually means putting it in a fancy novelty container with a picture on it. 'YOU'VE NAILED THE BRIEF'. Also it's endlessly long but spends very little time on interesting things like what techniques the chefs are actually using and how they are done. No, instead lets have an extended scene where the chefs sit down and have a cup of tea after cooking and discuss how they think it went.

[sevendaughters]

there's a make-up one
and there's been a dog grooming one
and they did a master baker one (but in vast quantities) on BBC
it's all so fucking BORING

[Bently Sheds]

there's a make-up one
and there's been a dog grooming one
and they did a master baker one (but in vast quantities) on BBC
it's all so fucking BORING

You cannot beat the dog grooming one where the woman did a tribute to Are Brave Boys by stenciling  a soldier's grave on a poodle's arse cheek.

[Icehaven]

I saw an article about the make-up one on the BBC website, and one of the contestants appeared to have gone as Jared Leto's Joker, which is an odd choice for anyone appearing on a competition show, but particularly one about make-up.

[Icehaven]

Remember that cookery one with the spoons? They had to make a dish that would fit into a medium sized spoon, then the judges (think Nigella Lawson was one) would try each spoon without knowing which was who's, then they'd pick their favourite. Lasted 1 series. May or may not have been inspired by 'Me and my Spoons' from Private Eye.

[Captain Z]

I've been watching the shoe-making one 'A Load Of Cobblers' on Ch5. The best one was when the Elvis impersonator got knocked out in the blue suede shoes week.

[Blue Jam]

I've been watching the shoe-making one 'A Load Of Cobblers'

Oh now they're just taking the piss.

[Huxleys Babkins]

The worst is the great british menu. Which I watch endlessly anyway for some reason.

First of all chefs from a specific region have to make a different course of a banquet and another more experienced chef critiques them and gives points, with the worst ones eliminated. The best ones from each region then go on to cook the same dishes for the judges. Who without exception have completely different taste preferences than the experienced chef who marked them in the first place, and so often hate the things the experienced chef liked. There's also the issue of the enforced 'theme' where the chefs have to give their dishes a name that represents musical heroes, or a scientific invention or something. This usually means putting it in a fancy novelty container with a picture on it. 'YOU'VE NAILED THE BRIEF'. Also it's endlessly long but spends very little time on interesting things like what techniques the chefs are actually using and how they are done. No, instead lets have an extended scene where the chefs sit down and have a cup of tea after cooking and discuss how they think it went.

Can't even make it through the theme tune, it's so aggressive and up its own arse.

[Blue Jam]

Anyone watching Netflix's one on flower arranging, presented by none other than Vic Reeves?

I am really, really not making this up:

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/entertainment/reality-tv/vic-reeves-natasha-demetriou-big-flower-fight-netflix/

[Ignatius_S]

Anyone watching Netflix's one on flower arranging, presented by none other than Vic Reeves?

I am really, really not making this up:

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/entertainment/reality-tv/vic-reeves-natasha-demetriou-big-flower-fight-netflix/

Watched about half of the series - Reeves was actually rather good at presenting, but he does have quite a bit of experience - but rather lost interest. It wasn't that the show was bad, but not enough to make it worth watching over other shows.

[Dex Sawash]

Anyone watching Netflix's one on flower arranging, presented by none other than Vic Reeves?

I am really, really not making this up:

https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/entertainment/reality-tv/vic-reeves-natasha-demetriou-big-flower-fight-netflix/

My wife loves that, I never paid it any mind though.

[gilbertharding]

The worst is the great british menu. Which I watch endlessly anyway for some reason.

First of all chefs from a specific region have to make a different course of a banquet and another more experienced chef critiques them and gives points, with the worst ones eliminated. The best ones from each region then go on to cook the same dishes for the judges. Who without exception have completely different taste preferences than the experienced chef who marked them in the first place, and so often hate the things the experienced chef liked. There's also the issue of the enforced 'theme' where the chefs have to give their dishes a name that represents musical heroes, or a scientific invention or something. This usually means putting it in a fancy novelty container with a picture on it. 'YOU'VE NAILED THE BRIEF'. Also it's endlessly long but spends very little time on interesting things like what techniques the chefs are actually using and how they are done. No, instead lets have an extended scene where the chefs sit down and have a cup of tea after cooking and discuss how they think it went.

A long time ago, the local shopping mall, every year, would have a small exhibition of the town photographic club's prize winners.

Many of the pictures on display were very impressive, as far as I could tell. However* they were, almost without fail, given appalling titles - always puns, or heavy-handed plays on words.

And that's the trap fallen into by every single chef on Great British Menu (as well as the trap of serving everything on or in a thematically obvious receptacle).



* The other extremely funny thing about the programme is the many synonyms for 'however' the judging chef has to contrive when handbraking to the critical part of the feedback.