New royal yacht to get go-ahead?

[Fambo Number Mive]

Some Tory MPs have been calling for a new royal yacht ever since the last one was decommissioned in 1997.

There are media reports that the new royal yacht will be announced "within weeks", will be named after Prince Philip and could cost "as much as £200m"

I find it bizarre how supporters of the royal yacht claim it will help promote British trade, as if the governments of other countries are toddlers that will agree to a trade deal because THEY WENT ON GREAT BRITAIN'S BOAT. Never mind that we've shown our willingness to break international law and try and renegotiate contracts once we've signed them, WE'LL HAVE A MASSIVE EXPENSIVE BOAT.

If this country can find £200m to keep Tory MPs on board with the current government, their bullshit excuse of "no money left following COVID spending" is surely exposed as the nonsense it is.

I presume this has also been leaked now in order to get more votes for the Tories in the local elections.

[imitationleather]

Anyone who wants this boat they will never, ever get to go on to exist is pathetic.

[Butchers Blind]

There's a guy along the river where I live will hire you a boat for £50 and you can call it what you want, for a day.

[Icehaven]

I actually support the existence of plans like these as they're the kind of thing that just might make enough people go "Hang on, what the fuck?" Having a monarchy quietly carrying on cutting ribbons and sucking money away in the background somewhere so not as to draw too much negative attention to themselves isn't going to result in their demise, but ostentatious let-them-eat-cakeism like this is more likely to damage them than not, surely?

[BlodwynPig]

I actually support the existence of plans like these as they're the kind of thing that just might make enough people go "Hang on, what the fuck?" Having a monarchy quietly carrying on cutting ribbons and sucking money away in the background somewhere so not as to draw too much negative attention to themselves isn't going to result in their demise, but ostentatious let-them-eat-cakeism like this is more likely to damage them than not, surely?

MIGHT?...when has MIGHT ever changed anything? NO...ABSOLUTELY FUCK THIS (Raging at the boat, not your argument).

[Pinball]

I quite liked the Royal Train too, can that be re-done? But only if it looks steampunk, with proper steam. And how about a Royal Copter? I think you can see where I'm going with this.

[Glebe]

^Heh, just did a Helichocter of that today!

Yachty McYachtface.

[Blumf]

Didn't they already get a royal yacht a few years back? Or am I thinking about the royal barge?

[idunnosomename]

When the Prince Philip arrives in foreign harbours it should belch out racial slurs through its foghorns. then shit itself

[Dex Sawash]

Boris boat

[Pijlstaart]

Man's as rotted as he'll ever get, just saw him off at the waist, set him in acrylic and mount him as the figurehead, have his legs hanging off the poop deck. Both positives and negatives to it, I reckon, Queen slightly more likely to get captured by somali pirates, forced to romp about their soft play area, all aboard kids, yaharr, come on down to pirates playground, yaarrhh, would love to have shaken her out of the crow's nest into a ball pit to the half-hearted protestations of an underpaid pirate-hatted attendant.

[Fambo Number Mive]

The Queen is not co-operating, it seems

I'm told the PM hasn't asked the Queen if she'd like a new yacht - she is well aware of the optics - nor has he asked about using Prince Philip's name.

Palace apparently very displeased with this suggestion in the papers.

https://twitter.com/SamCoatesSky/status/1386652150793703427

[Blue Jam]

"Boris Johnson wants a new trade and investment ship named after the Duke of Edinburgh to help 'sell Britain to the World'"

This is just British Empire fetishism isn't it? He wants to be on the bridge in a pith helmet pretending he's got a cargo of silks and spices and gold and gemstones we've stolen from other nations.

[Pinball]

Pre-election posturing by the Tories.

[dissolute ocelot]

Can't they steal a yacht from one of the Russian oligarchs the government is always imposing sanctions on? Or borrow one from one of George Osborne's or Peter Mandelson's friends?

Or failing that, the old one's still in Edinburgh. It floats and even if the engine is fucked they could get some tugboats dressed as sea-horses to pull it.

[Pinball]

Restoring Britannia would be cool. And maybe let us plebs have a go on it occasionally.

[Dex Sawash]

 Yacht A is probably available

[Jittlebags]

And how about a Royal Chopper?

FTFY. Surely that's Prince Andrew?

[Blumf]

FTFY. Surely that's Prince Andrew?

Which reminds me, will the royal yacht[nb]Is 'yacht' the worst written word in the English language? I think it's worse than diarrhoea for nonsensical arrangements of letters. It should be 'yott' or something.[/nb] have a pizza oven?

[dissolute ocelot]

Which reminds me, will the royal yacht[nb]Is 'yacht' the worst written word in the English language? I think it's worse than diarrhoea for nonsensical arrangements of letters. It should be 'yott' or something.[/nb] have a pizza oven?

It'll have a Yorkshire pudding oven, you traitor. Prince Andrew will just have to phone for a delivery.

(Doing research, Norway has an 84 year old royal yacht which they bought off British industrialist Thomas Sopwith, of camel fame, but it was bought by donations from the Norwegian people. Denmark has one that was built in 1932 and is still used, no excuses for them. Most monarchies got rid of them, including Spain a few years ago. Portugal had a royal yacht till they became a republic and the last one carried the ex-king away into exile, so there is some advantage to maintaining one.)

[Zetetic]

It's called democracy.

[Wonderful Butternut]

Hopefully they do commission a royal yacht, name it after Prince Phillip, and then someone blows it the fuck up.

[checkoutgirl]

Anyone who wants this boat they will never, ever get to go on to exist is pathetic.

Those sad lads covered in badges and union jacks who wait outside hospital for the royal baby and get really upset when a royal dies would be right behind a new royal yacht I imagine.

I'm not usually given to protesting as I'm too lazy but if I was English the amount of annoying things to get wound up about is so extensive I could certainly picture me grabbing a placard to display my displeasure at these posh benefits claimants.

[buttgammon]

The timing is so cynical, waiting until there's just been a big royal death so there will be maximum public goodwill and any criticism can be batted away with "FUCK OFF THEY'RE GRIEVING".

[Alberon]

Why not just use the old one? It's still fucking afloat.

Still, never going to happen. Just a cynical attempt to look good to the average Tory voter. And it'll probably work.

[Fambo Number Mive]

The government now say there will be "a new national flagship" built, which will cost £200m.

So we can't afford to give NHS staff in England a decent pay rise but we can piss £200m away on a gammon vanity project.

Labour said the government must demonstrate clearly how the ship is expected to boost trade, jobs and growth.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-57293882

[BlodwynPig]

Full of all the trigger news today Fambo.


Kieth's Labour propose a Royal Tuk Tuk to tour southern Asia to sell Union flags as part of securing trade deals and returning these rogue states back to the Empire

[GMTV]

New national flagship flagship

[Butchers Blind]

"Mr President, the British royal yacht is here"
"Tell them to park round the back, by the bins".

[Jittlebags]

Featuring the Glitter Suite for some South East Asian noncing.