Author Topic: It’s spread to the dried apricots  (Read 137 times)

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It’s spread to the dried apricots
« on: May 04, 2021, 12:47:17 PM »
You guessed it:  it’s spread to the dried apricots which now similarly are tasting of balloons.



I wondered at first whether it was a smell on my fingers that was going everywhere, but it’s not that.  On their own my fingers smell of nothing, but when I take them to either the young spinach or the dried apricots, bang:  the smell and then taste of balloons

zomgmouse

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Re: It’s spread to the dried apricots
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2021, 01:43:08 PM »
ARE YOU READING MY MIND

ARE YOU STALKING IN MY HOUSE

THIS HAS HAPPENED TO MY DRIED APRICOTS

Re: It’s spread to the dried apricots
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2021, 03:16:37 PM »
You guessed it:  it’s spread to the dried apricots which now similarly are tasting of balloons.



I wondered at first whether it was a smell on my fingers that was going everywhere, but it’s not that.  On their own my fingers smell of nothing, but when I take them to either the young spinach or the dried apricots, bang:  the smell and then taste of balloons

It’s true!  It’s a known technique employed in the Wild West to preserve the heterosexual integrity of all the cowboys. 

Every saloon had a back door next to the piano that led to the kitchen area.  As close to this door as possible a newborn baby would be placed in its crib.  Then, every few moments one of the cowboys would make an audible ‘GULP!’ sound because they were accidentally having a gay thought or feeling.  Rather than holding it in they would immediately excuse themselves for a moment and rush over to the crib before the gayness had a chance to take root.

They’d lock their general orientation in the direction of the newborn baby, shut their eyes, then begin emitting gay waves towards the newborn baby and murmuring.  The baby would absorb these, and like a sponge turning black from tar it would incrementally transform gay.  The cowboys would be able to sit around and play cards and smoke, have a great time and twizzle their guns about, safe in the knowledge that by the time that baby reached mating age they would be elderly and of no interest to it.



So how about you?  Do you think this practice should be brought back in the present day?  Have you ever had a little try of it yourself after learning about it from the history books?  Let us know in the comments section below and don’t forget to like, subscribe and ring that notification bell.

Siamese twins, conjoined twins - I am liberal so in this thread feel free to use whatever term you like.  I am relaxed and do not mind.  Laid back and brimming with easy peas.  Doesn’t even bother me.


My query is:  what is the most conjoined that two people can be?  And is one person actually two people with 100% conjoinment?

I honestly haven’t bothered with dandruff at all for decades.  But today I’m enjoying rubbing my head and seemingly sourcing an infinite range of the stuff for all my keyboard-clogging needs.  Like a little dusty fairy I am, sprinkle here, sprinkle there, salt on your desk sir, bit of athletes foot powder madam?

It’s wonderful.

---

Are you okay there kiddo? I am starting to worry a little here. They say gushing gibberish is the first sign of a bent cranium.

(Please don't read this part, darling:
I know High Speed Articulators are generally against sectioning, but it's perhaps something for us all to consider. This kid is clearly one turnip short of a dancehall.
Thank you, honeychops.)

Is there anything I can do for you? Perhaps there is someone I can call? Your Dad perhaps?


EDIT: Oh sorry I completely forgot that your Dad was arrested last week for exposing his anal hymen to minors.

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Re: It’s spread to the dried apricots
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2021, 05:26:17 PM »
When I was a teenager everyone used to pull a face and say “what is he on?!”


Haha “what is he on,” good one. 

wosl

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Re: It’s spread to the dried apricots
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2021, 06:34:44 PM »
To the dried apricots, and of the dried apricots.  Dried apircots spread

Mmm...delish!

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