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March 28, 2024, 10:04:04 AM

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Meghan's new kids book [split topic] [merged]

Started by Echo Valley 2-6809, May 04, 2021, 07:58:05 PM

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Echo Valley 2-6809

Still 'Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex' for her new children's book.

It's going to be an emotional rollercoaster.


Ferris

The Firm will have to sue, got to protect the brand.

Also as someone who reads a lot of books for toddlers, that looks dog dirt. 4 words a page and an "intentionally" bad art style taking up the other 98% of the content? Very poor effort.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 04, 2021, 08:08:36 PM
The Firm will have to sue, got to protect the brand.

Also as someone who reads a lot of books for toddlers, that looks dog dirt. 4 words a page and an "intentionally" bad art style taking up the other 98% of the content? Very poor effort.

Did you delete the pictures?


bomb_dog

Looking like $10k per word if it carries on in that fashion. And she didn't even do the pictures! I don't think Donaldson and Scheffler will be worried.

thenoise

It's sweet of her to get her toddler to illustrate it.

And write it.

jobotic

It's no Budgie the Little Child Rapist Helicopter

Butchers Blind

Getting in on the kids book racket. Nice little earner.

Kankurette

Being serious, I hate how celebrities just assume anyone can write a kids' book. It's not true at all. Not that Meghan wrote it, some minion probably did.

bomb_dog

Given how many words are in a kids book, it doesn't take long to read it and size it up when in the shop. If there's farting, a complete lack of story, looks a bit worthy, or written by someone off the telly when it's not their day job then it's liable to be shit and doesn't get bought.

You've got to see if it's got characters with voices you can do, that isn't too repetitive, that you enjoy the pictures too and can find something new to talk about in the background every time you read it.

This doesn't look like something kids would pick out. 'The bench' indeed.

paruses

It seems to be about different benches - but I have only skim read the posted excerpts.

Nice bit of military fetishism though.

The woman in the first picture looks like the weeping Statue of Liberty in those Onion cartoons.

Ferris

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 04, 2021, 08:10:13 PM
Did you delete the pictures?

I think Baz moved the previous post into a new topic as I was typing, and I realized I didn't give enough of a fuck about meghan whatsername and Harry and hendersons to find the new topic and repeat my droll commentary.

Applied for a "safety" research MA in Canadian political science today btw Blod (at the recommendation of my supervisor - she was trying to sell it to me). If I get into that with the absolute bare minimum that I know, it'll confirm how worthless it is before I even start it.

Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 04, 2021, 09:40:27 PM
I think Baz moved the previous post into a new topic as I was typing

Sorry about that. I did wonder about starting a new topic, but then her royal title being on the book struck me as relevant to the previous thread that was still going in January and wouldn't get any traction beyond that.
But like Barry says it doesn't matter if a new thread dies on its arse anyway, so no point in being too cautious about starting one.

flotemysost

Quote from: bomb_dog on May 04, 2021, 09:10:27 PM
This doesn't look like something kids would pick out. 'The bench' indeed.

Yep, when I first heard the title I thought it sounded more like either some sort of erotic spanking novel or a high school sports thing.

These things are always kept so incredibly, vehemently under wraps (I've worked on a lot of of these announcements) that I do wonder sometimes if the actual content/quality of the book itself is a bit of an afterthought.

Twit 2

Absolutely. If they could find a way not to produce the actual book, they would. The same goes for blockbuster films etc. It's just a necessary inconvenience to them.

Fry

#16
Quote from: Echo Valley 2-6809 on May 04, 2021, 07:58:05 PM


Coloured exclusively in brown, beige and dark green. Text that looks like the typeface on a commemorative plate. The title "The Bench".

Making a children's book is probably is much harder than it looks, but at least add one thing a child might be interested in. C'mon, I know it's all a grift but at least put a little effort in.

touchingcloth

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 04, 2021, 08:08:36 PM
The Firm will have to sue, got to protect the brand.

Also as someone who reads a lot of books for toddlers, that looks dog dirt. 4 words a page and an "intentionally" bad art style taking up the other 98% of the content? Very poor effort.

Our friends with a 2 year old stayed recently, and having overheard them reading stories to them I would have to agree. The toilet books had abominable scansion, but the better ones had genuinely decent scan, flow, turns of phrase. This one looks like some royal wee.

Fambo Number Mive

Hope this is the first of a series of furniture-focused children's books.

"The Chaise Lounge, book number 7, published 2024"

MoreauVasz

Quote from: flotemysost on May 04, 2021, 10:50:39 PM
Yep, when I first heard the title I thought it sounded more like either some sort of erotic spanking novel or a high school sports thing. .

I wish she had written a book about erotic spanking instead. The whole fucking country would catch fire.

DoesNotFollow


An tSaoi

Have to give her props for rhyming "boy" with "boy".

Echo Valley 2-6809


touchingcloth

Why hasn't Meg put her surname on her book like Saz? Surely they're both Saxe-Coburg & Gothas now.

The Mollusk

Quote from: Butchers Blind on May 04, 2021, 08:45:25 PM
Getting in on the kids book racket. Nice little earner.

Just to let you know, those of us who have actually made nice little earners call the phenomenon a "bunce". If you ever come into a nice little earner (I doubt it) that's the correct phrase to use if you don't want to look stupid or poor.