Things your dad is doing.

[Replies From View]

your dad is carefully shaving his chin over your pillow while you're sleeping

[Glebe]

Your dad's blind date comes to an abrupt halt when he refuses to stop talking about the benefits of Domestos for ten minutes.

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your dad is fighting like an asshole

[frajer]

Your dad has bought a universal remote and keeps pointing it at you and saying "stop being such a prick" then shaking it near his ear and doing an elaborate frown. "Thing's on the fritz!"

[Replies From View]

Your dad has sent you a text:

999.  GET IN TOUCH URGENTLY


So, dropping everything in a panic, you immediately phone him.


Turns out he is standing in a car boot sale wondering which of the Warioland games he should take a punt on for 50p.

[Cuellar]

Your dad he is entered into World's Strangest Man to perform feats of strange on a beach in California in front of whooping besunglassed dolts.

[Replies From View]

your dad has gotten it into his mind that going on University Challenge involves being on stage shitting into a myriad array of unfurling pants and socks


he's right now firing off a furious email to the BBC

[Glebe]

Your dad says "That blokes a nutter!" in a Harry Enfield voice after meeting your mate who has PTSD.

[frajer]

You dad has figured out how to do the leg sweep in Mortal Kombat and will not stop using it. Laughing his head off he is.

[Glebe]

Your dad is driving home from squash practice when 'The Year of the Cat' comes on the radio. Pretty soon he's singing along and the tears start to flow.

[Replies From View]

Last week your dad bought a Paul Daniels magic set.  Having mastered it to the best of his ability, he is now heading over to the States to appear on Penn and Teller's 'Fool Us'.  "I've got about as much chance as everyone else!" he is grinning.

[frajer]

Your dad doesn't rate Gary Sinise and tells you so every time he browses Netflix.

[idunnosomename]

Your dad is nesting inside the television.

Your dad is excreting a gnome.

Your dad is preaching against all birds.

Your dad is crawling under the oven.

Your dad is resting for the rest of the week.

Your dad should not be approached.

[The Bumlord]

What's the history behind this image please?  Is it photoshopped?

Oops, bit late. Nope, it's from some club in Liverpool where the drunken youths write messages on boards and have photos taken. I dunno.

[Replies From View]

Ahh.  Merseybeat, I'll suspect

[Replies From View]

your dad has a grimly fascinating launch pad

[Huxleys Babkins]

Your dad has bought a Hetty vacuum cleaner, solely so he can make off colour jokes at your mum's expense about how nice it is to finally find a woman doesn't complain about having to clean up after him and "sucking".

[frajer]

Your dad is on a recycling kick and keeps eyeing up the cat for parts.

[Replies From View]

your dad is every weekend ordering hundreds of condoms and having them sent to your address

[jobotic]

Your dad has bought a universal remote and keeps pointing it at you and saying "stop being such a prick" then shaking it near his ear and doing an elaborate frown. "Thing's on the fritz!"

Your dad just made me laugh

[JamesTC]

Your dad just saw this "great new show" called Big Bang Theory and is telling you you'd love it.

[Glebe]

Your dad is taking a break from mending the shed and is cheerily watching In the Night Garden with his feet up and a cup of tea and is singing Stephen Bishop's 'It Might Be You' from Tootsie.

[Glebe]

"I'm very proud of you son," says your dad but he's staring right through you and thinking of your sporty, right-wing friend.

[Replies From View]

your dad is quoting sliding doors, that funny scene where they quote monty python.  he has never seen monty python and thinks the film came up with it by itself

[frajer]

Your dad once met Adam Sandler at the airport and told him he was shite as The Riddler. "Tommy Lee Jones should have handed you your bloody cards."

[Glebe]

"Who'd win in a fight between Treebeard and Groot do you reckon?" your dad is asking his rare He-Man figurine.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Your dad is calling the computer mouse 'the rat' by mistake - 'Just click the rat on it....' he says.

[Glebe]

Your dad suggests "doing your bit" for the environment by buying more Nestle cereal. "There's a lot of good in those oats, and you're doing some good for the world too!"

[frajer]

Your dad doesn't want to get political but why don't Terry's pull their fucking finger out and do a chocolate banana?

[Glebe]

Your dad sighs as he opens the paper, "You can't even look at the news without reading about immigrants coming over from wild Borneo to take our jobs and steal our women."