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March 28, 2024, 08:59:41 AM

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Things your dad is doing.

Started by Glebe, May 05, 2021, 07:40:29 AM

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Glebe

Gardener's World has just ended, and your dad let's you switch over to GOLD to watch Blackadder. He folds his arms throughout, and alternates between giving you dirty looks and going "hmmph!" whenever you laugh. At the ad break, he storms into the kitchen shouting "You're too clever by half!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy


Glebe

You catch your dad wanking. "First of the day!"

Glebe

Classic sitcom Taxi comes on the telly and your dad produces a recorder out of nowhere and plays along to the memorable theme tune. "Very good, my dad."

Replies From View

Your dad is chiming in with messages of piss and positivity

Glebe

Your dad says social media "has ruined everything. Time was, you'd get the lawn mowed then use the telephone - the landline telephone, with the receiver and twirly cord, mind! - to have a sensible chat with a friend. Or you might write a letter to a cousin, and pop it down to the good old fashioned post office! Now the computer nerd weirdos have taken over... bring back the old ways, I say!"

TrenterPercenter

#96
Your dad has seen this thread and has now created a sock on CaB to write the following post:

There are a lot positives to be said about certain dads, like the dad who knows how to make the world's best sausage and baked bean casserole, who still looks good in his pair of genuine Oakley's sun glasses and who definitely didn't get divorced for shagging his wife's sister it was just the right time for another crazy dad adventure.  DOLO.  I love all dads, not stepdads, but this dad I'm thinking of in particular is a very impressive dad; the kind of dad that Alan Hansen would likely say "he's gort passion, he's gort drive, he's gort a lovely studio flat and can eat and clean up whenever he wants".  Can anyone lend me a fiver?

Glebe

"Happy Birthday, son!" chirps your dad, handing you a £15 voucher for a business supplies shop.

Replies From View

Your dad is eating all the Epsom salts

frajer

Do you dare your dad to climb that tree? Well he's gonna!

Don't think he can do it? You'll be laughing on the other side of your face, chum!

Call the GP son my loose knee's gone again.

TrenterPercenter

Your dad has been walking around speaking loudly into his extra large bluetooth ear piece.  When you ask him why he doesn't get a smaller one he replies "well people wouldn't know I had one then would they".

Your dad's started referring to your mum as "the drip tray".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Your dad is rebuilding Hadrian's Wall brick by brick in a project he calls 'Project Dad'.

Your dad has enquired about releasing equity from his collection of old Eagle comics.

frajer

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on May 24, 2021, 04:03:01 PM
Your dad has enquired about releasing equity from his collection of old Eagle comics.

Your dad knows the Hulk is just a rip-off of the Mekon and tells you and your friends it all the way through Avengers: Engdame.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Your Dad is character 'Brown Laden' on new comedy night at the Cock & Hoop in Nantwich.

Replies From View

Your dad isn't an edgelord, but he supports All Blacks New Zealand rugby with the slogan 'All Black Lives Matter'.  And he wears facepaint for it that makes him look like a tiger drawn by a three year old.

Glebe

Your dad's favourite "Playstation" game is Horace Goes Skiing.

TrenterPercenter

You dad has been singing "don't stand so close me" now for several hours in his shed; you can see through the window that he has also created a makeshift shrine to the Police and is hunched over performing somekind of strange ritual dance.  Your eyes keep flicking between an advert for crisis line and a flyer for a local exorcist.

frajer

Your dad doesn't mean to sound controversial but he is 100% certain takeaway pizza is a fad. "It's just an unfolded pie."

Your dad is eating Super Noodles with a tuning fork.

Glebe

Your dad is fiddling around with the lawn mower's carburetor. His shepherd's pie is going cold on the table, but mum is "not going to call him in again".

frajer

Your dad puts a lightbulb in his mouth like Uncle Fester then spends the rest of the holiday complaining his fillings ache.

The new Muller Light advert has prompted your dad to add Katarina Johnson-Thompson to a list he's titled "Browns Of Concern".

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Your dad just shitted up a bacon cos he plugged his burn.

frajer

Your dad is hotly tipped to be the new leader of New York superhero crew The Avengers. "Not bad for a boy from Putney, eh?" he says as he makes his biceps dance.

Replies From View

You're dad is claiming to think Katy Perry bashes out some pretty great tunes

The Bumlord

Your dad took his pension early and spent it all on cosmetic surgery to 'look more like Paul Coia'.

seepage

Your dad's just poured himself a nice glass of TV-advertised Malbec ready for tonight's RuneQuest session on Teams.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Your dad's a proper dickhead mate. Proper dickhead.