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March 28, 2024, 04:01:56 PM

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Man Wakes Up From Drinking Session To Find 'Nonce' Tattooed On His Forehead

Started by Elderly Sumo Prophecy, May 09, 2021, 07:20:00 PM

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Elderly Sumo Prophecy

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/worker-woke-find-word-nonce-23084506



He's had it covered up with another tattoo now, so everything's alright. It would have been easier if he'd just changed the first N to a B though.

Sebastian Cobb

Fucking hell that's horrible and yeah serious crime. Can't deny I didn't smirk in a 'cursed planet' kind of way.

I once, when about 17 woke up to find an arsehole mate while fucked had managed to mispell 'twat' on my forehead in indelible ink. I needed to get a bus back to the town I lived in and a nice man spotted me at the bus stop and offered me a lift, it wasn't until I got home I realised there was still a faint outline.


Sebastian Cobb


Butchers Blind


canadagoose

Quote from: Butchers Blind on May 09, 2021, 07:38:33 PM
34?
Jeez. I suppose being a labourer really takes it out of you. He should try being an idle wanker like me.

Zetetic

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 09, 2021, 07:26:35 PM
Fucking hell that's horrible and yeah serious crime.
Even if he is a nonce? That would be a mitigating factor at least, surely?

Cuellar



Zetetic

At a minimum, I'd expect Northamptonshire Police to have some machine learning tech that could give us the probability that this man was a "nonce" as his forehead declared.

Butchers Blind

Is there a uncensored pic so we can see how realistic the drawing of the genitals was on his forehead?

El Unicornio, mang

The word is so widely used for non-nonce activity these days though. People get called a nonce for thinking Bounty are the best in a tub of Celebrations.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Quote from: Butchers Blind on May 09, 2021, 07:54:14 PM
Is there a uncensored pic so we can see how realistic the drawing of the genitals was on his forehead?

Sadly not. Educated guess I'd say it was a cock and hairy balls, with a jettison of spunk emanating from the cock tip.

Can anyone tell what the covering tattoo is meant to be? I think it might be a demon. I can see eyes.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on May 09, 2021, 08:00:45 PM
The word is so widely used for non-nonce activity these days though. People get called a nonce for thinking Bounty are the best in a tub of Celebrations.

I didn't know you'd met my nan, are you her home help?

ZoyzaSorris

'Illiterate 34 year old unskilled labourer has 'nonce' tattooed on his prematurely balding scalp after drinking himself into a stupor in a Northamptonshire dosshouse' does sound like something discarded as too on the nose for a desolation thread. Poor fucker.

seepage

OK, so I did have my head made into a trifle at a party once, but the hottest people in the room were dared to lick it all off, so who's laughing now?

olliebean

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 09, 2021, 08:09:55 PM
Sadly not. Educated guess I'd say it was a cock and hairy balls, with a jettison of spunk emanating from the cock tip.

Can anyone tell what the covering tattoo is meant to be? I think it might be a demon. I can see eyes.

The report says it's a skull and crossbones.

jobotic

Wouldn't have happened if he'd kept a good head of hair. Nonce.

Dex Sawash


JamesTC

The only reason I don't think he is a nonce is that the last thing a nonce would want tattooed on his forehead is nonce.

Then again, it could be some sort of audacious double bluff.

Sebastian Cobb



chveik


Elderly Sumo Prophecy


Buelligan

Indeed.  Or made the N look like a scroll or leaf, then added UPON A TIME A DRUNKEN MAN DREAMED and so on, across his face and body with some endearing pictures of little children or naked cherubs dancing. 

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Alas, he cannot read, so you could write all that stuff on him, and he'd never know what it said. Apart from the pictures. Just tell him it's Japanese or something, he'll never know.

Jockice

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on May 09, 2021, 08:00:45 PM
The word is so widely used for non-nonce activity these days though. People get called a nonce for thinking Bounty are the best in a tub of Celebrations.

They are though.

jobotic

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 10, 2021, 12:11:41 AM
What if the tattoo forged some form of determinism?

I hope this is true. I took a gamble and had DOCTOR HOT STUFF tattooed across my face last night.

shiftwork2


dissolute ocelot

He should have tattooed SENSE on the back of his head.

Or changed the N to a B.