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March 29, 2024, 07:10:13 AM

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Man Wakes Up From Drinking Session To Find 'Nonce' Tattooed On His Forehead

Started by Elderly Sumo Prophecy, May 09, 2021, 07:20:00 PM

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Retinend

But what would be really funny is if you changed the "N" to a "B".

edit: fuck, newpaged

steve98

He should've changed the "N" to a B*, haha

*"Bonce" (Meaning head)

Sebastian Cobb

The problem with changing the n to a b is some opportunist could tattoo 'bacon' above it and he'd be right back where he started.

robhug

impress your friends by labeling your head by changing the N of the tattooed Nonce on your bald head to a B

steve98

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 10, 2021, 10:22:39 AM
The problem with changing the n to a b is some opportunist could tattoo 'bacon' above it and he'd be right back where he started.

"Bacon bonce"?, does that mean nonce? I've never heard of a bacon bonce before.
You live and learn.

steve98

COME OUT! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, YA FUCKIN' BACON-BONCE BEAST BASTARD!"


JamesTC

Would have been easier to get "Not a" tattooed above.

Or he could have changed the N to a B.


idunnosomename

If he changed the N to B it woyld say bonce (like his head). And then he could change it back if he decided to become a paedophile.

JamesTC

Could have changed the first N to a B and the second N to a Y. Just would have looked like a big Only Fools and Horses fan.

your dad

Join up the C and stick an L on the end and you've got "NO NOEL" and you can then just fly to New Zealand and stand outside Edmonds' house in protest

Mr Farenheit

QuoteLabourer Edward Murray, 34, says his body was daubed with several crude homemade tattoos while he dozed after a heavy drinking session.

I'm not sure 'dozed' is the right term.

robhug

If only he'd have thought to change the N to a B he could have avoided looking really stupid, being humiliated and mocked nationally, with his labouring career now presumably in tatters.

Oz Oz Alice

A friend of mine once awoke from a noncing session to find "Drunk" tattooed on his forehead. Boy was his face red.

idunnosomename

Closest i can find to an uncensored image, but cant tell what anything on that arm is meant to be. Some breasts?



edit i can see the balls now. the shaft goes downward. very spherical balls

Butchers Blind

Should've got himself one of these, saved a few quid on the professional tattoo.



Or changed the N to a B.


steve98

Quote from: Butchers Blind on May 10, 2021, 12:14:51 PM
Should've got himself one of these, saved a few quid on the professional tattoo.



Or changed the N to a B.

That's no good, that's an archetypal nonce look.

EDITED to add. You're half way to Savile, with that hair.

EDITED again to add. If - as has been suggested - you're gonna change the first "N" to a B, it wouldn't be that much more effort to fully change "Nonce" to Bants. And then you could just leave the spunking cock and balls exposed (Top bants)

frajer

He could have changed the top of his head to the bottom of his head. Hey presto, the offending word is inside your neck.

Buelligan

Quote from: steve98 on May 10, 2021, 10:35:22 AM
COME OUT! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, YA FUCKIN' BACON-BONCE BEAST BASTARD!"



Ed Miliband?  Not really surprised.


shiftwork2

If, as is now suspected, he diddled hundreds of kids I vote we tattoo TURBO above this, to be safe.

No smoke without fire

Glebe


Echo Valley 2-6809

Quote from: steve98 on May 10, 2021, 10:26:34 AM
"Bacon bonce"?, does that mean nonce? I've never heard of a bacon bonce before.
You live and learn.

'Bacon bonce' was an insult used between the kids in Here Come the Double Deckers (1971) where it meant something like knucklehead.
I don't know if it was used before that, but it's unlikely to have been rhyming slang for nonce at the time. The OED's first citation for nonce as prison slang is also 1971.


Keebleman

I think he should have changed the second N to a B.  Nobce.  He could have made up a different story for what it meant depending on his mood.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

How about getting rid of the first N completely so it just says Once?
Nah, that's shit. Should have changed the first N to a B.

Buelligan


JesusAndYourBush

He should've changed the N to a P.

Then when he realised that wasn't much better he could've changed the P to a B.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Obviously the best thing to do would have been to cross out the first N with permanent marker, and then scrawl either a P or a B underneath it, depending upon his mood. Some days he may feel like a Ponce, some days he may wish to draw attention to his Bonce, and other days he may just want to let people know that he's a Nonce, so he leaves the tattoo as is.

Dr Rock

He should have simply added a 'D' at the end. Then had 'KIDS! DON'T GET' tattooed above, and 'KEEP AWAY FROM STRANGERS! underneath.