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Songs that are actually quite good guides for something (not dance instructions)

Started by itsfredtitmus, May 11, 2021, 10:40:54 AM

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itsfredtitmus

Advice On Arrest by The Desperate Bicycles is a great text on how to not fuck yourself in an formal interview with the police



phantom_power

Gales Doc by The Nightingales teaches you how to write a Nightingales song

The Mollusk

"Die Eier Von Satan" by Tool is a recipe for hash cookies but no one cares because Tool are shit


itsfredtitmus

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 11, 2021, 12:12:58 PM
"Die Eier Von Satan" by Tool is a recipe for hash cookies but no one cares because Tool are shit
Good band

cosmic-hearse

Quote from: itsfredtitmus on May 11, 2021, 10:40:54 AM
Advice On Arrest by The Desperate Bicycles is a great text on how to not fuck yourself in an formal interview with the police

First song I thought of when I saw this thread!


itsfredtitmus

It definitely helped me achieve the human-macarana-mind state is what I'm saying fair to it

Brundle-Fly

Busy Doin' Nothing by The Beach Boys would be good satnav directions to Brian Wilson's house if one knew where the starting point was.

Gulftastic

On her live album 'One Fair Summer Evening', Nanci Griffith explains what a blue moon is on her intro to 'Once In A Blue Moon'.

JesusAndYourBush

Snooker Loopy is great for whenever there's a quiz question about how many points a particular snooker ball is worth.
(Assuming you remember that the song lists the balls in order, from 2 to 7 points.)

phantom_power

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on May 11, 2021, 03:15:20 PM
Snooker Loopy is great for whenever there's a quiz question about how many points a particular snooker ball is worth.
(Assuming you remember that the song lists the balls in order, from 2 to 7 points.)


I mentally sing that whenever I play snooker

I also sing the theme to the little known 80s game show about astrology to know what the order of the star signs are.

Capricorn, aquarius
Pisces, aries, taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
And Sagitariuuuuuuuuuuuus

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Whenever a question comes up about philosophers on University Challenge, I always quickly run through "The Philosophers Song" from Monty Python in my head and pick one whose nationality sounds like it matches. So for example if the question is, "Which French philosopher..." I'll run the song through to "Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, I drink therefore I am" and say Descartes. It works roughly about 30% of the time.


Brundle-Fly

Frank Loesser's Inchworm is quite good for very basic arithmetic.   

The theme to ITV's Magpie by Murgatroyd is quite good for superstitious folk who live in the countryside.

The Crumb

Modest Mouse's A Life of Arctic Sounds contains sage advice about reasonable lengths of car journey.

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Offers the listener a number of different options, to achieve the same desired result.

non capisco

Quote from: thecuriousorange on May 11, 2021, 05:52:02 PM
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Offers the listener a number of different options, to achieve the same desired result.

He barely comes up with three let alone fifty, the lazy little prick. 'Make a new plan, Stan' is too vague and 'You don't need to be coy, Roy' hardly counts. I dunno, I confess I haven't heard the 12" mix.




Goldentony

Rockin' In The USA off Side 4 of Kiss's ALIVE II is a solid trip around the Europe with handy guides on what to see

Quote
I'm flyin' in a 747
I'm passing by the pearly gates
And I'm comin' real close to Heaven
And my guitar just can't wait
It just can't wait

In France really had the chance
Yeah, there was plenty romance
I've been to England too, there wasn't much to do
One thing I know is true
What I would rather do

Is rockin' in the USA
Nowhere else I'd rather stay
Rockin' and a-rollin', rockin' and a-rollin'
Rockin' in the USA

Germany was really neat
Just wasn't much to eat
And Denmark was great, but I just can't wait

Rockin' in the USA
Rockin' in the USA (rockin' in the USA)
Nowhere else I'd rather stay (rockin' in the USA)
Rockin' and a-rollin' (rockin' and rollin'), rockin' and a-rollin' (rockin' and rollin')
Rockin' in the USA

JaDanketies

Dead Body Disposal - Necro

The Ten Crack Commandments - Notorious BIG

Cop Killer - Bodycount

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) - Baz Luhrman

How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb by U2 did not actually contain the instructions that buyers hoped for and The Edge had to go on Watchdog and apologise.

Ferris

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 11, 2021, 03:27:23 PM
Whenever a question comes up about philosophers on University Challenge, I always quickly run through "The Philosophers Song" from Monty Python in my head and pick one whose nationality sounds like it matches. So for example if the question is, "Which French philosopher..." I'll run the song through to "Rene Descartes was a drunken fart, I drink therefore I am" and say Descartes. It works roughly about 30% of the time.

My undergraduate degree is in philosophy, and I also resort to this because I was drunk for 3 years.

What a 3 years though.

I was likewise poised to cite Advice on Arrest, but option B is Rebecca Black's Friday,  which includes a useful guide to how the days fall between Thursday and Sunday. (Mon-Wed you're on your own.)

phantom_power

The Magic Number by Bob Dorough is good for telling you lots of things that there are 3 of

Shaky