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March 28, 2024, 08:37:11 PM

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Best great ape

Started by bgmnts, May 11, 2021, 08:37:12 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Which great ape is the best?

Chimpanzee
5 (8.8%)
Gorilla
11 (19.3%)
Orangutan
25 (43.9%)
Bonobo
12 (21.1%)
Grape Ape Foot Juice
3 (5.3%)
The Archbishop Of Canterbury
1 (1.8%)

Total Members Voted: 57

bgmnts

Based on various factors such as cuteness, lethality, adaptability, intelligence and overall apeness, which is the best of the big four great apes?






Dr Trouser

Orangutan clearly, no discussion necessary

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Can I shock you: Humans, despite what I said earlier.

When is the last time any of the other great apes produced marvellous inventions such as the dunting cradle, the sissy basket, the sluicing clamp, the gelding iron?

I ask you*

*I don't actually ask you, this is a rhetorical device, and a terrifically effective one too


Unclear how this topic can even sustain a thread, it is so obviously the orangutan.

bomb_dog


Buelligan

Absolutely orangutan, then gorilla, tie for last but no one's really a looser, they're all great.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I see you've provided pictures of baby primates, and not the huge, skulking behemoths they become in adulthood. I do like bonobos though, because apparently they're a bit sex obsessed and like wanking a lot, which I also enjoy. Look at that little chap/lady up there in the fourth picture, they're already fellating a tree stump, imagining it's a big cock. Bless.

Added bonus: I don't think an adult bonobo would try and rip my face off with it's bare hands like a chimp. A bonobo would probably just try and fuck my head, which although quite traumatising, I would quickly recover from. It might even give me a little kiss afterwards.

Gurke and Hare


Cuellar

Yeah can't see anyone challenging orangutan if I'm honest.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I saw the orangutans at Chester Zoo. Along with their gentility, subtlety, playfulness and careful movements that made me jealous of their sandbox, their curated existences - they are a delight - it struck me that the hollow psychopathy of something like a domestic cat is more interesting. Their thought processes and whims are more difficult to decipher.

So I will go Cat for best great ape

BlodwynPig




BlodwynPig

Going for orangutan is like voting for Ed Miliband. Pathetic

PlanktonSideburns

Always feels a bit rum calling them 'tangs

They're the best tho

BlodwynPig

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on May 11, 2021, 09:54:56 PM
Always feels a bit rum calling them 'tangs

They're the best tho

Its not top trumps, mate.

Gibbon >>>>> Tangs

bgmnts

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 11, 2021, 09:55:51 PM
Its not top trumps, mate.

Gibbon >>>>> Tangs

The only lesser ape worth a toss is the balloon-necked Siamang.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JUhUI_KvUI&ab_channel=dianafeeney

kittens


Video Game Fan 2000

Honestly I think we should round up all non-fictional great apes and put them in a floating prison. They get by on just being crap versions of people. Not falling for it again.

DrGreggles


steve98

Not if you're a macaq being rent asunder by them.

And bonobos are total sex-pests (and not in a fun way, but in a John Barrowman way: doin' that ululating fanny-lickin' thing and wagglin' their dicks in the poor, orangutang's faces.)


Mr Banlon


Fr.Bigley

Orangutans without doubt. Big, gentle and infinitely cute. Man of the forest innit.


Butchers Blind

There's that clip from a few years back of that ape throwing his shit at some woman. Legend Ape.

bgmnts

Quote from: Mr Banlon on May 11, 2021, 10:26:07 PM
Mountain Gorillas : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBuIU2phhgU
Rangas are a close second

I think watching a baby 'rilla beat his chest might be a natural cure for depression.

Also, there is some recent ranga goodness from the old jungle school on yootoob:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZkJeuPD4A4&ab_channel=SmithsonianChannel

idunnosomename

wanna bonobo a bonobo a bonobo of my own

wanna bonobo a bonobo a bonobo and a mobile phone

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: BlodwynPig on May 11, 2021, 09:54:54 PM
Going for orangutan is like voting for Ed Miliband. Pathetic

Or Sean Murphy.

dissolute ocelot

Bobby Davro is the greatest ape[nb]Ape means impressionist.[/nb]

Ferris

It's the chimp for me, Clive.