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Best great ape

Started by bgmnts, May 11, 2021, 08:37:12 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Which great ape is the best?

Chimpanzee
5 (8.8%)
Gorilla
11 (19.3%)
Orangutan
25 (43.9%)
Bonobo
12 (21.1%)
Grape Ape Foot Juice
3 (5.3%)
The Archbishop Of Canterbury
1 (1.8%)

Total Members Voted: 57

bgmnts

Quote from: flotemysost on May 13, 2021, 11:34:05 PM
Apologies if I'm being dense bgmnts but what's the difference between image 1) and 4), are they both chimps?

Image one is a chimpanzee and image four is a bonobo. They are the two species witthin the Pan genus.

druss

Bonobos, the horny bastards.

willbo


dissolute ocelot

Are these your gentle giants of the Indonesian jungle? Loners who only associate with other orang utans for murder or rape.
QuoteAnthropologists in Borneo observed a rare instance of a female and a male orangutan teaming up—to kill another female orangutan. ...

The fight was instigated by a female named Kondor. Kondor had some issues with an older orangutan female Sidony (pictured to the left), who had hit and bit Kondor when Kondor approached Sidony's daughter. Kondor, who had no dependent children at the time of the fight, had been hanging out with Ekko, a young male. Just before the fight started, Ekko had gone to "sexually inspect" Sidony but had gone back to mate with Kondor. Kondor broke off the mating, ran over to Sidony, and started attacking her.

The fight developed into something more than just a few bites or hits. When Sidony tried to get away, Ekko blocked her path. When Kondor stopped attacking, Ekko started. For 33 minutes, the two took turns beating and biting Sidony—with Ekko inflicting more damage due to his larger canines. Sidony weakened steadily and died two weeks later.
Quote
Orangutans are relatively solitary. Females and males almost never interact unless it's time to mate—not surprising, since the researchers describe mating as often due to "coercion."

bgmnts

Well, coercion in the sense that the male has to impress and convince the female to mate. I dont think its straight up mallard-esque rape.

Fr.Bigley

Just another rainy night in Hull.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on May 14, 2021, 04:28:48 AM
Why are gorillas always sat down? Lazy bastards.
what do you want them to be doing, the fucking charleston?

Quote from: idunnosomename on May 14, 2021, 03:02:56 PM
what do you want them to be doing, the fucking charleston?

Would be nice to see them swing around like a gibbon every once in a while.


imitationleather



Really reminds me of an episode of Ibiza Uncovered I saw on Sky back in the day.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Good work there, bald fella.

Stonefish

I can't believe the orangutan is winnng. I want off this planet.


Kelvin


steve98

He (The baldy one) reminds me of Arthur from On The Buses.


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I like the way his cauliflower arse is hanging down underneath. That's hot.
Or is that her arse? In fact, can we be sure that the bald one is even the male? Maybe they're both male?

kittens


steve98

Maybe he gave her the apple, she's holdin' on to? (As a gift, not as payment)

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Looks more like a potato.

steve98

Point (if there is one) still stands.

Cold Meat Platter

Look if you need to eat a grape just go ahead, no need for all this fuss.


imitationleather

I'm always nervous when getting on to this topic that it's veering into Noel Fielding-style shitty whimsy but fuck me it'd be amazing if a gorilla got addicted to plastic surgery.

It's the gorilla for me, Clive. I mean, just look at this scene from David Attenborough's latest documentary, Killer apes (granted, he gets some help from the chimps, but in the end, it's all go-go gorilla):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKDqrUqOe8Y

steve98

Quote from: imitationleather on May 14, 2021, 08:53:27 PM
fuck me it'd be amazing if a gorilla got addicted to plastic surgery.

How's my abs, ripped? Just had a little collagen work.


Kelvin

Sticking anyone who chose Orangutan on Ignore. Can't be having that kind of person around me.

kittens

honestly i hate them all. they make a mockery of humanity.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: kittens on May 14, 2021, 09:30:34 PM
honestly i hate them all. they make a mockery of humanity.

At last.

Stonefish

What exactly makes them so great anyway?

idunnosomename

Distinguishes them from little apes on the north coast of France.