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Best great ape

Started by bgmnts, May 11, 2021, 08:37:12 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Which great ape is the best?

Chimpanzee
5 (8.8%)
Gorilla
11 (19.3%)
Orangutan
25 (43.9%)
Bonobo
12 (21.1%)
Grape Ape Foot Juice
3 (5.3%)
The Archbishop Of Canterbury
1 (1.8%)

Total Members Voted: 57

steve98

Quote from: Stonefish on May 15, 2021, 01:17:55 PM
What exactly makes them so great anyway?

May as well ask what makes toasted flakes of sugar-coated corn so great (Or even why the caged bird sings) - It's just the way things are.


Dex Sawash


Kelvin


Video Game Fan 2000

What's the widest river you could throw a gorilla across?

I'm ashamed of the way we keep these beautiful creatures in captivity, caged up like battery hens.

I've looked it up online and if you didn't already know, this is an apiary. Disgusting.


imitationleather

That's killed my buzz.

Video Game Fan 2000

Fuck me, what's all this 'honey' I've been putting on my toast then?


imitationleather

Having a pet with such human-like features is a bit unsettling for me, Clive.

Video Game Fan 2000

Quote from: Bently Sheds on May 15, 2021, 07:43:12 PM
Chimps are best, especially Travis.

I've always been frightened by the image used in that article, because I heard the fucking 911 call (don't listen to this if you haven't) and chimps dressed or treated as humans always distressed me from both the cruelty and the danger perspective, and this one just looks so smug. The look on his face. Sublime satisfaction with his own culpability. He looks like fucking Grouty from Porridge. He knows what he's capable of.

willbo

Travis could open doors using keys, dress himself, water plants, feed hay to his owners' horses, eat at a table with the rest of the family, and drink wine from a stemmed glass; he was so fond of ice cream that he learned the schedules of passing ice cream trucks. He logged onto the computer to look at pictures, watched television using a remote control, and brushed his teeth using a Water Pik.[6][7][14] He enjoyed watching baseball on television.[15] Travis had also driven a car on several occasions.[10]


aw...I wish that story had a happy ending

imitationleather

Quote from: willbo on May 16, 2021, 12:06:10 PM
Travis could open doors using keys, dress himself, water plants, feed hay to his owners' horses, eat at a table with the rest of the family, and drink wine from a stemmed glass; he was so fond of ice cream that he learned the schedules of passing ice cream trucks. He logged onto the computer to look at pictures, watched television using a remote control, and brushed his teeth using a Water Pik.[6][7][14] He enjoyed watching baseball on television.[15] Travis had also driven a car on several occasions.[10]


What advantages did owning Travis have over, say, a child?

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Why are Americans allowed to keep exotic animals anyway? Is it part of the whole pursuit of happiness, liberty thing? It seems like such a strange thing to claim as one of your inalienable rights. Who the fuck needs a monkey in order to be happy?


Jittlebags

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on May 16, 2021, 07:21:18 PM
Fuck's sake!  The makers of those PG Tips ads were playing with fire!

Yes, Imagine what the little twat did after the piano landed on his foot.

Galeee

Got to be the orangutan, also the greatest ginger.

Video Game Fan 2000

Quote from: imitationleather on May 16, 2021, 01:58:36 PM
What advantages did owning Travis have over, say, a child?

If you said a child looked like Grouty from Porridge you wouldn't get away with it.

steve98

Quote from: Galeee on May 18, 2021, 04:03:57 PM
Got to be the orangutan, also the greatest ginger.

O I dunno. The late Sir Clive Sinclair's givin' a good account of himself over in the Best Comb-over thread (Maybe you're not aware Sir Clive's a ginger)