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Dog shit bin neighbour

Started by Barry Admin, May 13, 2021, 12:31:21 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

frajer

Somehow train the dog to rub the owner's nose in it to correct his fetid behaviour. Dog is master now.

imitationleather

Please do split topic if this isn't allowed, but has anyone else ever wondered what would happen if they took a dump in a cat litter tray?


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: imitationleather on May 13, 2021, 10:53:38 AM
Please do split topic if this isn't allowed, but has anyone else ever wondered what would happen if they took a dump in a cat litter tray?

I have, kind of a Peter's Mad Thought, while staying at a friends with two cats. I was mainly wondering if they'd they'd accuse me or convince themselves one of their cats has dropped an absolute titan.

Pink Gregory

If the cat doesn't have a visible massive prolapse and has also suddenly lost half of it's weight I think it'd be hard not to finger the culprit.

Sonny_Jim

Been a dog owner and lived with several over the years, not once have I met one that kept their dog shit indoors.  I have no explanation for that behaviour, I can only assume that they've had a bollocking for putting dog shit in someone's bin and think you're supposed to save it up for your own bin?

Buelligan

Quote from: Pink Gregory on May 13, 2021, 11:06:20 AM
If the cat doesn't have a visible massive prolapse and has also suddenly lost half of it's weight I think it'd be hard not to finger the culprit.

God no.  Even if you wash them after.  No.

jobotic

What my cat does in her litter tray is on a par with what I would do.

\except this morning, when I used the toilet and she went by the front door.

holyzombiejesus

You're definitely in the right here. Why would anyone leave a dog shit bin indoors?

hamfist


PaulTMA


dissolute ocelot

Quote from: imitationleather on May 13, 2021, 10:53:38 AM
Please do split topic if this isn't allowed, but has anyone else ever wondered what would happen if they took a dump in a cat litter tray?
This is what Quora is for. (RIP Yahoo Answers.)



Quote from: touchingcloth on May 13, 2021, 08:04:17 AM
Put the bin in a paper bag, light the bag on fire, knock on his door and then run away.

He'll come out of the flat, see the fire, and instinct will kick in and he'll start to stamp all over it and get dog shit bin shoes, the dog shit binny-shoed bastard.
That way you end up with the corridor smelling of dogshit and fire. This is why you must push it through the letter box, push a match through after it, and then run away.

Chedney Honks

Dog shit
Jumping tit

Albuquerque

Barry Admin

#44
Quote from: jobotic on May 13, 2021, 09:11:16 AM
Why is the dogshit bin indoors? Is it really a dogshit bin? Looks like the caddy bins that we have here for food waste with a dogshit sticker on top?

We have those too, and I think that's essentially what it is, yeah.

Have to admit that I was wrong about it having a fresh delivery last night, as what really happened during the confrontation was he picked the thing up and opened it and showed me the inside of it while screaming "it's fucking empty you pleb." But it definitely wasn't empty last week.

So I just left a message with the council and asked for a call back. It might backfire with a counter complaint tho; I haven't been able to get new curtains since the windows got replaced so still have paper over the windows. I don't think that's anywhere near as egregious as stockpiling dog muck in a communal area though. 

I dunno why he's so resistant to the communal windows outside he flat being open. It's getting warm, his kitchen window is wide open anyway, so what's the difference? He must really want the stench to brew or some fucking thing.

Icehaven


Quote from: Barry Admin on May 13, 2021, 01:01:42 PM

I dunno why he's so resistant to the communal windows outside he flat being open. It's getting warm, his kitchen window is wide open anyway, so what's the difference? He must really want the stench of brew or some fucking thing.

For the petty victory of it. If you leave it closed he'll probably open it.

Butchers Blind

Think you should don some sort of disguise (moustache, wig, glasses), knock on his door and say you're from the council dog shit department and that you believe he's keeping unauthorised dog shit on the premises. Let him know there's a hefty fine (£10k) for unlicensed dog shit.

holyzombiejesus

Get Dom Jolly to dress as a dog and have a shit in his bin.

imitationleather

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on May 13, 2021, 12:59:06 PM
This is what Quora is for. (RIP Yahoo Answers.)



This is dumb. I'm not going to sit in the litter am I? I'd crouch above it.

I'm not an idiot ffs.

imitationleather

Also, unlike yer man in the cartoon, I'd pull my trousers down.

Barry Admin

Yeah you would definitely squat over the litter tray, and cats have been known to use human loos without submerging themselves upto the tits. I question the accuracy and integrity of the shit box researchers on Quora.

touchingcloth


idunnosomename

Quote from: holyzombiejesus on May 13, 2021, 01:08:24 PM
Get Dom Jolly to dress as a dog and have a shit in his bin.
hed probably do it for a tenner

badaids


Can I just shock you?  I like Dog shit bin neighbour.

Barry Admin

Quote from: badaids on May 13, 2021, 11:02:50 PM
Can I just shock you?  I like Dog shit bin neighbour.

Well his dog shit bin ways are numbered! I phoned the council and environmental health today, and they were appalled. "I can't believe what goes through some people's brains", she said.

So the dog wardens are coming out and the council are also going to contact him to tell him to wise up.

I saw flies circling the fucking thing today. Empty or not, it's still had doggy plops in there recently.

Goldentony

once they get rid give him a knock to know you're sorry about the pleb situation and bung him an enormous dog shit

holyzombiejesus

Send him a card with
"Sorry 'bout your banned bin,
Don't fuck with Barry Admin"
written in it.

Cuntbeaks

Will your succession of retarded neighbours ever end?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Good news about the bin, but what will this vollhonk do as a reprisal?

Barry Admin

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 14, 2021, 01:18:41 PM
Good news about the bin, but what will this vollhonk do as a reprisal?

He went round and closed all the rest of the windows in the communal area this morning 😅 one is specifically left open for Jelly to get in and out, so he has an escape from the Chow Chow, and so he has some independence.

My friend was dropping me up some vitamin drinks that he has spare from the doctor, and while chatting, we both turned round and saw yer man dipping below one of the windows. Really sus. He must've been spying to overhear what I was saying.

Hopefully the environmental health will be out today and that will put an end to it, cause we're both obviously stubborn cunts, and this will just escalate.