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March 29, 2024, 03:25:43 PM

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Things that are NEVER funny.

Started by Jockice, May 13, 2021, 03:01:36 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

jamiefairlie

Quote from: Mr Trumpet on May 13, 2021, 03:40:48 PM
Prank phone calls taking the piss out of people trying to do their low-paid jobs

Pranks in general, just bullying harassment disguised as 'banter'.

Video Game Fan 2000

American lib news desk humour - especially John Oliver and the Some More News dickshit.

easytarget


jamiefairlie

Quote from: Gulftastic on May 13, 2021, 04:36:22 PM
Jokes where the punchline is someone famous who received opinion has dubbed as ugly. Peter Bearsdley was often the go to in my day. Not sure who they'd use now.

Davie Dodds in Scotland in the 80s

The Crumb

Comedy songs that have any degree of musical competence.

Video Game Fan 2000

Sweary recipes and their close cousin digital blackface.

DrGreggles

Quote from: Gulftastic on May 13, 2021, 04:36:22 PM
Jokes where the punchline is someone famous who received opinion has dubbed as ugly. Peter Bearsdley was often the go to in my day. Not sure who they'd use now.

It's still Peter Beardsley.

He was a good sport about it though, and here relegates Baddiel to the 3rd funniest person on screen.
https://youtu.be/cH6NVrMWwq0

Cuellar

Having your character assassinated in the mainstream press AND the twittersphere

petril

a montage of loads of snooker balls going into pockets

Egyptian Feast

That exasperated look comedians have on their tour posters.

Speaking of which, Lee Hurst.

jamiefairlie

Quote from: petrilTanaka on May 13, 2021, 05:56:04 PM
a montage of loads of snooker balls going into pockets

And then run backwards in an 'ITV football in the 70s' style


An tSaoi

David Attenborough spoofs, especially those involving humans.

"And here we see the mating rituals of the Geordie male in his natural habitat" etc etc.

Kankurette

Quote from: Mr Trumpet on May 13, 2021, 03:40:48 PM
Prank phone calls taking the piss out of people trying to do their low-paid jobs
Or people putting Tony Blair's autobiography in the Crime section. Yes, Blair is a cunt. No, you're not sticking it to the man by making some underpaid book shop employee's job just that little harder.

pigamus

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on May 13, 2021, 03:23:48 PM
Also Craig Brown in Private Eye.

Any other stuff Craig Brown does.

He was brilliant until about... 2003? And then he suddenly stopped being funny.

An tSaoi

Quote from: Kankurette on May 13, 2021, 07:47:08 PM
Or people putting Tony Blair's autobiography in the Crime section. Yes, Blair is a cunt. No, you're not sticking it to the man by making some underpaid book shop employee's job just that little harder.

See also: Bible or Quran in the fiction section.

Jockice

Quote from: Kankurette on May 13, 2021, 07:47:08 PM
Or people putting Tony Blair's autobiography in the Crime section. Yes, Blair is a cunt. No, you're not sticking it to the man by making some underpaid book shop employee's job just that little harder.

Calling him Tony B-liar or referring to Zanu Liebour isn't funny either. Nor is calling Jeremy Corbyn 'magic grandpa.' In contrast calling the current leader Keith is very funny.

Kankurette

Quote from: Jockice on May 13, 2021, 04:37:23 PM
Can I include doing shit impressions of people's accents while mentioning regional/national stereotypes and phrases you have rarely or never heard in the region or nation you come from. It never ceases to amaze me how many English folk think it's hilarious to talk in shit Scottish/faux Jock, saying 'och aye the noo' while mentioning kilts and bagpipes and expect me to find it amusing too. It wasn't funny the first time someone did it, let alone the millionth.

Oh, hold on. It's my thread. I can include anything I want.
Yes. I'm only half-Scottish but it annoys me too.

Also 'Crobbins', 'Crombly', 'Abercrombie and Fitch' or any other heelarious variant on 'Corbyn'.

markburgle

Farts. Don't get it, sorry. I mean sure, they serve to remind us of the inherent absurdity of the human condition, but it's still just some shit smelling gas.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: Catalogue Trousers on May 13, 2021, 04:27:20 PM
Paul Joseph Watson's attempts at humour.
Agreed. His attempts at being a serious culture warrior are much funnier.

"hipster pigeon food that wouldn't even satisfy an incel"

"I ordered the King Candy Bar to troll them"

"I went to the Christmas aisle in Tesco's, not a single mention of the word Christmas"

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

After reading the SNL thread, how about "Young people talk funny and are glued to their screens and care about stupid shit, not like us adults in the Real World". It was funny when Stewart Lee did it because he did it with his pants around his ankles while brandishing the microphone stand like a walking stick, thus taking on the persona of a deranged old man for pan-generational mockery.

Malcy

Anything related to the suffering of animals & kids acting and/or speaking like adults in a comedy scenario. Especially the latter, fuck off.

chveik


DrGreggles

Quote from: markburgle on May 13, 2021, 08:25:40 PM
Farts. Don't get it, sorry. I mean sure, they serve to remind us of the inherent absurdity of the human condition, but it's still just some shit smelling gas.

What about someone trying to fart and accidentally shitting themselves?

My mate Iain did this in 1994 and he still gets called out on it on a daily basis.

dissolute ocelot

Failing to understand the difference between modern art and things a 2 year old has done.

Jokes about trade unions in 1970s films.

Sexually transmitted diseases. Also the joke "life is a sexually transmitted disease".

Hilarious parodies of Chinese/Japanese/Korean/etc involving the letters L and/or R.

Songs about anal sex.

Ukeleles.

DrGreggles


Jokes about Eric Pickles being fat.

The current issue of Private Eye has published a reader-submitted lookalike: Mr Blobby and Eric Pickles. Somebody wrote in with that. In 2021. And they've published it. With the time-honoured 'switched captions'.

BeardFaceMan

People eating large amounts of food/stuffing lots of food into their mouth.

the midnight watch baboon

Quote from: DrGreggles on May 13, 2021, 04:45:02 PM
It's still Peter Beardsley.

He was a good sport about it though, and here relegates Baddiel to the 3rd funniest person on screen.
https://youtu.be/cH6NVrMWwq0

Still pretty dated... warm feelings generated to me personally due to the fact I was at the Aylesbury - England game behind one of the goals. Also watching this clip with YT subtitles adds always-hilarious crazy subtitling fun to the mix.

DrGreggles

One of my favourite players when I was a kid, so I always disliked his appearance being mocked.