Things that are NEVER funny.

[dothestrand]

'You better not mess with me, I'm a black belt in origami' was absolutely manadatory for any mainstream 1970s/80s sitcom, along with any variation on this one.

"Have you got anything by The Kinks?"
"The who?"
"No, I don't like The Who".

I remember an episode of some US show that was re-ran in the 90s on BBC2, possibly Buck Rogers (only because I remember Gil Gerard) where they pulled this gag.

"They sound like the Beatles" (some 'future' music that basically sounds like music from 1980)
"The who?" (e.g. someone in the future who doesn't know 20c rock music)
"No the Beatles, they were a band from 'my generation"

So one extra level to that gag.

[Gulftastic]

Animaniacs did it as a variation of 'Who's on first?' with The Band also being dragged in.

[Leej88]

That Animaniacs Who bit is a classic.

[Dusty Substance]

'You better not mess with me, I'm a black belt in origami'

Similarly.....

"I'm a vegan"

"Like Mr.* Spock in Star Trek?"

(* or Dr. Spock for people who really get things wrong)

[Leej88]

Dammit Jim I am not a Doctor, not a Magician.

[kalowski]

Similarly.....

"I'm a vegan"

"Like Mr.* Spock in Star Trek?"

(* or Dr. Spock for people who really get things wrong)

But it was the one funny joke in Just Good Friends.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

But it was the one funny joke in Just Good Friends.

What about when Vince's mum said " it's pissing down out there" ?

[kalowski]

What about when Vince's mum said " it's pissing down out there" ?

Ha. I imagine that was also funny. I didn't really watch it, my mum did.

[benjitz]

The 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th times one sees a sign saying Shitbottle, apparently.

[Mobius]

I think I posted this already but saw it again on 30 Rock last night - any mention of 'interpretive dance' or conveying your emotions via the medium of dance

[non capisco]

I think I posted this already but saw it again on 30 Rock last night - any mention of 'interpretive dance' or conveying your emotions via the medium of dance

Ooof, yeah. I can picture and hear Sue Perkins saying that on a panel show and then doing a sort of meerkat pose.

You know where you still see hacks using "through the medium of interpretive dance" a lot? The fuckin Guardian, that's where.

[jobotic]

Oh Marina, you really are the Queen!

How long did you spend laughing at Maybot and Classic Dom? Another hilarious column John, thank you!

[dissolute ocelot]

Ooof, yeah. I can picture and hear Sue Perkins saying that on a panel show and then doing a sort of meerkat pose.

You know where you still see hacks using "through the medium of interpretive dance" a lot? The fuckin Guardian, that's where.

As an indication of how old it is, it crops up a lot in DH Lawrence novels, characters randomly launching into interpretative dance. Needless to say, it isn't funny then.

[idunnosomename]

Since it seems to be a 90s trope, someone being forced to eat a tarantula (having a shot of a live tarantula, then cutting to someone with tarantula legs in their mouth).

Just fucking rubbish. Not sure if it was that one on the really wild show that inspired them. Funny how you never see tarantulas much these days. Bit like rattlesnakes.

[markburgle]

"Man" as prefix. Manflu. Mancave. Manbag. All that bollocks

[Leej88]

Manscaping

[beanheadmcginty]

"Man" as prefix. Manflu. Mancave. Manbag. All that bollocks

Manning, Bernard

[Leej88]

Animals getting killed
A Fish Called Wanda
Bottom
Peep Show etc

[gilbertharding]

Changing the name of a famous person/company very slightly which for some reason is supposed to be funny. I've seen this several times and the first example I can think of off the top of my head is "Mapple" and "Steve Mobbs" from that episode in the Simpsons thread.

Was Arrested Development guilty of this with Something/Google?

[Leej88]

Oh Hangover part 3 aswell

[McChesney Duntz]

Was Arrested Development guilty of this with Something/Google?

I would say no, that was a deliberate, overt move on their part to lampshade Google's (supposed) refusal to have their name used in the show.

[Art Bear]

I think I posted this already but saw it again on 30 Rock last night - any mention of 'interpretive dance' or conveying your emotions via the medium of dance

I recently went on two courses for work, facilitated by two different people. They both thought they were funny by suggesting we may wish to feedback on policy decisions via an interpretive dance.

[Brundle-Fly]

This thread should be called Things that are NO LONGER funny (unless they subvert the gag)

Incongruous characters in slow-motion Kung Fu fights with voices slowed down. In fact, slo-mo in general is a bit annoying now. Especially if anybody parodies the Reservoir Dogs (1992) walk or somebody acting sexy with a Barry White underscore concluding with a sobering abrupt 'needle across the record' scratch SFX.

Pole axing/ leaping onto the floor and landing out of shot (usually behind a sofa)
Del Boy falling through the bar has a lot to answer for. It felt like Mrs. Brown's Boys and Miranda were doing this stunt every week, each vying to topple David Jason from the number one spot for best UK comedy TV moment.

[rectorofstiffkey]

I recently went on two courses for work, facilitated by two different people. They both thought they were funny by suggesting we may wish to feedback on policy decisions via an interpretive dance.

Ouch.  Did they think they were both being stunningly original?

I'm no comedy expert, and off the top of my head I can think of the 'interpretive dance' joke being used several times, and that's not even counting all the David Armand routines.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Animals getting killed
A Fish Called Wanda
Bottom
Peep Show etc

I hate animals getting killed but One Foot in the Grave somehow gets away with it, for me.

The cat in the freezer scene in particular (and I love cats)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DzZitQk0x0&ab_channel=BritBox

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Andrew Lawrence.

[idunnosomename]

That's the aftermath though and reaction is pretty straight but with sarcastic lines about the whole absurdity. It doesn't feel cruel comedy. "Dad cat" is also one of those naturally funny phrases.

Might as well say the parrot sketch isnt funny!

[thenoise]

I hate animals getting killed but One Foot in the Grave somehow gets away with it, for me.

The cat in the freezer scene in particular (and I love cats)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DzZitQk0x0&ab_channel=BritBox

The tortoise buried alive, complete with close ups of the little moppet choking back tears, is particularly horrible. But One Foot never treated its nightmare scenarios lightly. Same with the numerous human deaths, including really sad lonely suicides etc.

[thenoise]

"Man" as prefix. Manflu. Mancave. Manbag. All that bollocks

I see your "man-" and raise you "bro-".

Broga (the apparently newfangled practice of men doing yoga).  Bromance (the extraordinarily modern and liberated practice of a man being friends with another man). Brogurt (some men are so amazingly self assured in both gender and sexuality that they are able to eat yogurt, probably with a girly old "spoon", without fear of their knob and both bollocks falling off immediately). Etc.

[markburgle]

I see your "man-" and raise you "bro-".

Broga (the apparently newfangled practice of men doing yoga).  Bromance (the extraordinarily modern and liberated practice of a man being friends with another man). Brogurt (some men are so amazingly self assured in both gender and sexuality that they are able to eat yogurt, probably with a girly old "spoon", without fear of their knob and both bollocks falling off immediately). Etc.

Tell it, Broseph