Things that are NEVER funny.

[Povidone]

someone's in the pocket of big irony!!!!

That's exactly what big exclamation marks wants you to think.

[dissolute ocelot]

It used to be 'squeezing the middle of the toothpaste tube issue' years ago. Thank god, pump-action toothpaste dispensers came along to rid us of this hackneyed observation.

Squeezing the middle only applied with metal tubes that you had to squeeze from the bottom then roll up. With a plastic tube you just squeeze it anywhere you like. Modern science!

[Cold Meat Platter]

Why doesn't tomato puree get with the fucking program, then?

[Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead]

Why doesn't tomato puree get with the fucking program, then?

Are you saying it, um, ought to catch up?