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Writing

Started by bgmnts, May 13, 2021, 04:32:25 PM

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PlanktonSideburns

More bgmnts fucks sake

lebowskibukowski

Is there a dedicated thread for putting your short stories on or is it an HS Art free for all?

PlanktonSideburns

Should be a short stories thread

Keep forgetting you could potentially use HS Art to post actual work of art that we like because it's such a toilet

buttgammon

Submitted a piece of flash fiction to a journal the other week - I'm still waiting to hear back but I'm not expecting anything. It's something I bashed up in an evening and did for a laugh.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

...There is a piece of original fiction I've been meaning to write actually. It came to me in a dream.

Don't want to post it here though, you're all great and everything, but if I ever actually finish it I might want to publish it.

lebowskibukowski

Ah, fuck it, it's a quiet day at work...

MY FRIEND BILLY

"Where are you going, Grandad?" asked Sophie.

"Just popping next door, love", said Grandad.
Sophie watched as Grandad Billy began scaling the back garden fence. The wood bowed and groaned as he scrambled up.

"Be careful, Grandad. I don't think that it's very safe"

"I'll be okay, Sophie" said Grandad, but he was having severe trouble getting any sort of foothold and, even though he felt that he was sprightly for a sventy six year old, he rightly assessed that he would not be able to vault the required height.

"Use the toadstool, Grandad!"

Grandad Billy turned and saw the fungi themed footstool that Sophie sometimes stood on to help Mummy in the kitchen. She had been using it as a table for a teddy bears tea party on the patio.

"Thanks, love", Grandad replied.

He carried it over to the fence and placed it on the edge of the flowerbed. It was slightly wobbly, but he wasn't too concerned.
The extra height was just right, and Grandad found the purchase required to reach the top of the fence. The drop down on the other side loomed large, it looked twice the distance of the ascent! Had next door had their garden sunk? There looked like a lot of stones in the soil as well. Grandad Billy was pensive, but he had come this far. He braced himself and jumped down into next door's garden. His ankles and knees absorbed most of the fall. They would hurt tomorrow morning, but he didn't mind as he was living for the day - tomorrow never comes, as they say.

Grandad Billy saw Eve at the bottom of the garden, playing underneath the cherry tree. She was singing a song about naughty spiders or similar as she raked fallen leaves, and Grandad Billy tiptoed up towards her. He got within four of five steps of her and shouted "BOO!".

Eve was startled, and turned to see Grandad Billy's gappy smile peering down at her.

"Grandad Billy! Grandad Billy, you scared me!"

Eve always called him grandad Billy, even though they were not related. He had been introduced as Grandad Billy when the neighbours had moved in and it had stuck.

"Hello, Eve"

"What is that, Grandad Billy?" asked Eve, agog.

"That, dear? That's my willy".

Grandad had unzipped his trousers and unfurled his mighty todger.

"That's not a willy, Grandad Billy. My brother has a willy and it is tiny!"

"Oh, my dear, it most definitely is a willy. Not only that, it's a BIG willy".

Grandad could see Sophie peeking through a small knothole in the fence. Bloody kid!

"How big is your willy, Grandad Billy?"

"It's ten foot long, Eve".

"That IS long, Grandad Billy. But that just CAN'T be a willy. Willies just aren't that big".

"Toucj it, Eve. Touch the end of my willy".

"Is it safe, Grandad Billy?"

"Well, it might spit at you if you look scared", said Grandad Billy.

"I'm not sure, Grandad Billy!.

"Be brave and stroke my willy".

"Grandad Billy, your willy looks angry".

Eve looked closer at Grandad Billy's enormous member. It was so very, very long. It coiled where Grandad Billy had spooled it out onto the ground. Then Eve realised. This wasn't a willy! Naughty Grandad Billy, lying to Eve! Eve knew what this was. It was a snake! Eve had read about snakes in school. A snake bite could make you very, very poorly. Eve grabbed her rake and attacked the nasty snake.

"Get away from me, you bad snake!" she shouted.

Eve closed her eyes and hit the snake with the rake with all of her might.

"Aaaggggh, me cock!" screamed Grandad Billy.

Eve opened her eyes again, Grandad Billy was writhing around on the floor in agony, a large pool of blood forming beneath him. She saw that she had almost chopped the snake clean in half.

Tears welled up in Grandad Billy's eyes. His pride and joy! His huge Johnson! His titanic knob! His Herculean bangstick! Now nothing more than a headless lump of gristle, he woozily estimated there was but three foot four of it left.
Grandad Billy could not maintain consciousness with this ridiculous amount of blood loss, and it was mere seconds before he passed out. He died moments later.

Eve looked up to see that Sophie had joined her in the garden. Blood had splattered Eve's pretty little dress.

"Did Grandad Billy's snake attack you, too?" asked Sophie.

Eve nodded.

"Want a teddy bears' tea party?" asked Sophie.

Eve nodded once more, smiling broadly, and they both skipped inside Eve's house, singing a song about naughty spiders.

Twit 2

Definitely on a register.

chveik


PlanktonSideburns

(maybe that was a little harsh)

Mister Six

Quote from: Astronaut Omens on May 21, 2021, 11:21:11 AM
This to me is the bit that I've never managed to crack. I can conjour up an atmosphere scenes and a bit of dialogue, but what I've never been able to get right is the way that novelists are able to structure a story so that details which didn't quite fit or were annoying earlier in a story suddenly become clear or are explained 200 pages later.

I think the answers to that, in no particular order, are "lots of rewrites", "beta readers" and "an editor".

13 schoolyards

Beta readers are very handy and also extremely difficult to find. Most of the time your mates will say they'll read it and never get around to it, especially as you're asking them to read something you've said up front is going to need (serious) work.

Writing groups are handy for this, but the downside is that you end up spending a lot of your writing time reading other people's sub-par work.

oustropique

Quote from: Astronaut Omens on May 21, 2021, 11:21:11 AM
This to me is the bit that I've never managed to crack. I can conjour up an atmosphere scenes and a bit of dialogue, but what I've never been able to get right is the way that novelists are able to structure a story so that details which didn't quite fit or were annoying earlier in a story suddenly become clear or are explained 200 pages later.

Quote from: Mister Six on July 19, 2021, 05:19:55 PM
I think the answers to that, in no particular order, are "lots of rewrites", "beta readers" and "an editor".

This is true, particularly in regards to your first and third point. You can't rush something out the door. There will always be some ill-fitting, annoying detail that you add in on a whim that you then realise is perfect to develop somewhere else in the story to flesh out an underwritten section. The rewrites are necessary to insert those connections, the editor (which can just be you with a different hat on if you're self-aware enough) is needed to spot them. I would not describe myself as a novelist, but I felt like Astronaut Omens for a long time. The answer is just to spend more time on something.

And then, of course, there are the stories or visions for a project that coalesce perfectly in one sitting, which undermines everything I've just said. But those are very rare, and I will stick with my cautious advice.

I would say beta readers are less immediately essential. If you've written something you like and would want to read, then that's usually a sign you're going in the right direction. Still good to have them, mind. They can alleviate a lot of self-doubt.

Quote from: 13 schoolyards on July 20, 2021, 04:58:06 AM
Beta readers are very handy and also extremely difficult to find. Most of the time your mates will say they'll read it and never get around to it, especially as you're asking them to read something you've said up front is going to need (serious) work.

Writing groups are handy for this, but the downside is that you end up spending a lot of your writing time reading other people's sub-par work.

This is also true. You just have to find the right friend (usually also a like-minded writer taking their craft seriously) or a group of like-minded writers taking their craft seriously. This is harder than it seems.

I've finished preparing a ghost story for entry into an international competition, for which entries online are being accepted from tomorrow. The first prize in the competition is $1500 or the equivalent in another currency. The second and third prizes will be $300 or equivalent each. All of the three winners will get publication online and in a print anthology too. After twelve-and-a-half years of writing stories, I feel this is about the best piece of work I've ever created, so I feel I'm in with a real chance. I'll know by 31 October.

This is the competition I'm entering: http://www.theghoststory.com/tgs-fiction-award


bgmnts

Good luck!

I might just submit my assignment story and just put "oh and he was a ghost as well I forgot to say" at the end.

PlanktonSideburns

Your bus one could be read as ghost story as is I recon

bgmnts

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on August 02, 2021, 03:07:41 PM
Your bus one could be read as ghost story as is I recon

Well what was weird about that was the fact that not long after I finished it there was a funny story about a guy at Ladbrokes or something who nicked a bus.

So I may write something about the tory party conference getting bombed.

PlanktonSideburns

You do seem like the sort of character that would suddenly realise he has the power of divination in a wacky adventure