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JOHN CHISUM

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, May 13, 2021, 07:11:10 PM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: non capisco on May 12, 2021, 11:38:33 PM
I've got a sort of Mandela effect version of this. I remember in my early teens watching a John Wayne film on TV with my dad called 'Chisum' where he plays a character called John Chisum which is funny because it sounds like a bit like John Jism doesn't it. I recall us both laughing throughout at the bombastic song that kept striking up on the soundtrack that went CHISUUUUUUUUM!!!!!! JOHN CHISUUUUUUM! , the humour arising because it sounded like it was saying JISMMMMMMM which is a word for spunk isn't it. In my memory this was going on throughout, every time he got on his horse an unseen choir of cowboys would proclaim CHISUUUUUUUUUM!!! JOHN CHISUUUUUM!!!. I recall it being incessant, to the point where he was just ambling into a saloon and that action in itself was deemed worthy of a quick CHISSUUUUUUUUM!!! JOHN CHISUUUUUUM!!!. We were essentially waiting with delighted anticipation for the next burst of Chisum to erupt.

It was on telly the other year, doesn't happen at all. The song is in it but it's just at the start. No celestial cowboys are repeatedly bellowing over the action about jism. We just found it funny at the start that his name sounded like jism and there was a song about it that went JISMMMMMMM! JOHN JISMMMMMMM! and had somehow fooled ourselves into thinking it ran all through the film.

God help us if there's ever a biopic about Mel C.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

*Man bursts through saloon doors*

Sheriff: By gawd it's CHISUM
Deputy: It can't be, why he was shot to his eyebrows up on Stoney Bluff!

CHISUM: IT'S I, CHISUMMMMMM

Sheriff: Why ain't you dead boy

CHISUM: COZ IM AFTER JUSTICE AND THAT. DYER KEN? BEEN SENT BACK, JOHN CHISUM HAS BEEN SENT BACK

Deputy: By gawd! He's been sent back

CHISUM: CHISUM IS BACK

*general consternation and amazement in the bar*

*title sequence*

Goldentony

JOHN CHISUM HERE

CHISUM

IM HERE TO BUY

CHISUM

HOUSE BRICKS!

CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!

canadagoose

Is that where Dennis Waterman got the idea?

Goldentony

CHISUM walks into shop

Bobby Womack CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUM CHISUM CHISUM

ah forgot me card

Bobby Womack FORGOT HIS CAAAAAAAAAAAAARD CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

Goldentony

Yalright Chisum lad hows i-

CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

right yeah right, but h-

CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

non capisco

"I'm afraid you've kept the book for a month past the return date, Mr. Chisum. It's going to have to be a fine of £5.50 I'm afraid."

"OK yeah, that's fair enough. It's just my mum's not well at the moment and she was reading it after me, she was really enjoying it but her eyesight's not what it was, you know, so she could only read it a bit at a time. She was enjoying it so much though, y'know, was looking forward to finding out what was going to happen next and that. I didn't have the heart to snatch it away from her, y'know?"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear your mum's not been well, Mr. Chisum. I'm really glad she enjoyed the book though. You've got to take what little joys you can get at that age, haven't you? You know what, I shouldn't really do this but on this occasion I'm going to waive the fine."

"CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM! JOHN CHISUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!"

famethrowa