Explaining Gaps and other irregularities in CV

[gotmilk]

Sorry for the forthcoming ramble.

Having received a Humanities degree and briefly worked in junior admin positions I wound up getting a job at a small company in a marketing role. Because the company was tiny and dysfunctional I was soon "promoted" to head of marketing (same pay) after the previous guy fucked off. Worked there for a year before stupidly quitting with nothing lined up. because I found the atmosphere deeply miserable. Had trouble getting a proper job after that and wound up temping for a year and a half, initially doing junior marketing stuff but then just working in a couple of reception jobs where I gained no new skills.

The temping service stopped operating March last year, and I've done almost nothing for 15 months except browse the internet, watch the odd film, and feel sorry for myself. Been living with my parents all this time. Late twenties, basically friendless. Perhaps the only thing I can feel proud of from this period has been that I've managed to stay fit with lifting and jogging, but this is not enough to explain myself.

I want to start applying for jobs again but I have no idea how I'm going to justify the gap in my life when I'm inevitably asked what I've done since February last year. I don't think it's a good idea to say I've had depression, even though that may be the truth. Then again I might just be lazy, not sure. Either way my lifestyle is impossible to defend.

Any recommendations for getting a job considering I have to justify not only a huge stretch of unemployment, but also quitting a decent job (the one which I'll be talking about the most to show my skills and experience) for a load of mindless temp roles? I think the fear of explaining all this is a large part of what has stopped me from pulling myself together sooner.

[Captain Z]

Good old "personal circumstances"/"family situation"?

Say that you were a self-employed artist drawing furry porn to order? No further questions asked.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Tell them you got Covid and nearly died, then were advised to spend the remainder of the time recuperating. The dates match up too.
Say you went on holiday last year and were unable to return home for a few months due to restrictions.
Alternatively make up jobs that you had at companies that have gone bust in the last year due to lockdown. Theres no way of them finding out whether you're lieing or not (probably).
The pandemic is your friend in this situation. Use it to your advantage.

[Goldentony]

I fucking hate interviews and i've had to sit in on a few, so for this kind of thing i'd honestly just make yourself sound as normal as possible, even if it means lying that you used to hide shit in nuns heads for fun you just need to let the people know you're sound and arent a fuckhead, just think of a reasonable like until someone brings it up and you can piss it out when needed

[Pijlstaart]

Myself, I've come to love lying, it's something that I do that makes me happy. Even now I am lying in bed. The best lies pertain to size, perhaps say you're a couple of inches shorter than you are, if you say you're a couple of inches taller they'll suspect something, but never shorter. BMI goes up, spirometry requirements go down, you avoid the draft, suddenly the lie is benefiting you and you get smaller and smaller, the descending glissendo of the slide whistle plays in your head, down down down, you're subsumed by the marginal goblin town topos, down down down, dishi rishi snarls at you from the safety of his dollhouse, down down down and there's no god down here, just you interacting with the world at a resolution you never dreamed of. The path before us is clear, you just need to know the direction to look in.

I have every faith in you, old boss didn't notice she'd shortlisted the CV of a man with an 11-year gap in it, he's a prison criminal, I warned, he'll deal drugs at us, but nevertheless she persisted, we are all blemished and the warts that sprout from us are succulent and nourishing.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I love it when the descending glissendo comes out of my slide whistle. Best bit.

[Pink Gregory]

Give it the old "ah, but I could tell you...but then I'd have to kill you." with a big old wink and a tap of the nose.

[Bahamadia]

I'm not sure how different the UK context is to the Australian but I have chronic illnesses and basically had a nasty flare up once I moved to a new city for work and university. Multiple hospitalisations, setback after setback and surgeries... and now here I am, four years later looking for work while completing some uni part-time. So I went from always working to being unemployed and sick for four years, which doesn't look great on the CV. I have had a lot of response from my CV after on my cover letters I have just explained that I got very sick, and am now better. In fact, some employers have been happy with the "story" of it, I suppose. I've been offered some good jobs (couldn't balance them with part-time work though) so I don't think the gap for health reasons is the worst thing to be open with.
Good luck :)

[kittens]

surely you are covered by covid (not literally of course ho ho ho) and can claim to have been applying for things but say it's been tough cos everywhere's been shut. or make something up, or win the lottery and don't worry about jobs any more (this is what i did)

[imitationleather]

Simply explain any gaps by saying that during these periods you were in prison.

[Bob-Kate]

Freelancing and volunteering while looking for a new role (which was more challenging due to COVID and the economic downturn blah blah blah)

You could get away with lying, but it does help to have something recent to talk about in interviews.

Do you know anyone who runs a small business and could do with improving their website/Facebook page? Or could you get in touch with a foodbank or similar and see how you could help out?

Or, say you were doing childcare and when you're asked how many kids you've got, just do a sad but brave face.

[petercussing]

I've got some big gaps in my cv from where a took some periods out to practice being mentally ill. I slightly extended some periods i worked in some jobs as people don't check that in much details so it doesn't matter if you pop a couple of extra months on it, and i also just said i had a period of unavoidable serious illness that is now remedied and most people don't really like delving into that too far in my experience.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Honestly I would blame COVID. You couldn't have picked a better time to be unemployed. The temp company folded and few places were hiring because pandemic.

[Icehaven]

You couldn't have picked a better 15 months of unemployment to hide, there's loads of Covid excuses you can use. You got laid off because of the pandemic and haven't had any luck applying for other jobs, you were furloughed by somewhere that has since shut down, you had long Covid or you were caring for someone that did, you were volunteering, there's plenty.

[Albert Soviets]

If I was truthful about my job history, I'd have more gaps than work, since I've been a workshy gobshite for most of my life. It's yet to do me any harm and that's without the added Covid excuse.

As people say, just covid it out. Or make up a job. Either way.

[Retinend]

Say you started teaching English online. Who can say you didn't?

[Buelligan]

Sorry, I haven't read the replies on this, I cannot be arsed and have other things to do.  I work (when it's not pandemic time) as a skivvy cleaning woman, giving advice on careers may not be appropriate, that is for you to decide.  However, I will add my thoughts for your consideration.

Before embracing my status as a bum, I had some jobs, prospects, even.  And I'm fairly wily, inventive.  Problem was I was too aware of what people want and not relaxed and confident enough as myself.  For all our sins, ourselves, our own skins, are the only skins we'll ever really live in, if we hide or betray them, that way unhappiness beckons.  That's what I reckon.

Anyway, what I did, because I could see quite clearly what people wanted to hear and how to please, was to do that.  Pander to these fucks simply to get a foot on.  Of course, that left me climbing the wrong fucking ladder, a ladder bristling with miserable conventional bores.  As you can see, I ran away and am now very happy if extremely poor (and overworked when things are normal).  But I sometimes wonder if there is a third way, is it possible to find a place of employment, where they pay you sufficiently and don't work you into an early grave, where you can also be yourself, a human being, possibly even happy?

What I'm suggesting, I suppose, is, rather than thinking about what you can say to these people to convince them you're someone else, you look them in the eye and tell them the reality of your life, what you want from them, what you're prepared to give to get it, that sort of shit.  It may lead to disaster and you'll end scrubbing floors like me but it's not that bad, scrubbing floors.  Perhaps though, you'll find a place to work where they're looking for you, a person exactly like you, and you fit right in.  Tricky.  Wish you all the best whatever.

[DrGreggles]

"I was doing an online course."

Used that one recently.
I mean, it was true, but no one checked.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Say you started teaching English online. Who can say you didn't?

Paul from hr

[mothman]

I'm leaning towards some combination of icehaven's and buelligan's suggestions.

[peanutbutter]

I was never asked about some pretty big gaps in my resume, I would imagine gaps are less of an issue than a list of full time jobs that lasted extremely short lengths. Whether you're going to quit in a few weeks/months would be a lot more noticablee in that whereas gaps could have a ton of reasons and dont really reflect your work ethic when in a job either.

[Icehaven]

Just one slight caveat, some jobs will want you to be able to show how you've supported yourself, or been supported, for security reasons etc. At my work all new staff have to go through a vetting process which includes accounting for any periods of unemployment in case they were living off a diamond heist or something. So if you end up applying for a job that wants this then either plug the gaps or be able to say how you were obtaining food when you weren't working (living with parents probably covers most of it.)

[idunnosomename]

honestly last year was a gift for CVs. just shrug your shoulders when you get to 2020 and go "ha! 2020 eh!" and move on.

[bgmnts]

I've never been able to explain gaps in cvs because you cant really say "yeah for six months to a year after my contract ended I was too depressed to do anything and just absent mindedly looked for work". They dont really except that.

Fuck knows really.

[dissolute ocelot]

Just one slight caveat, some jobs will want you to be able to show how you've supported yourself, or been supported, for security reasons etc. At my work all new staff have to go through a vetting process which includes accounting for any periods of unemployment in case they were living off a diamond heist or something. So if you end up applying for a job that wants this then either plug the gaps or be able to say how you were obtaining food when you weren't working (living with parents probably covers most of it.)

I've acted as a reference for multiple people for jobs with security checks (ranging from working at an airport coffee shop to fixing the spelling on secret government reports) and have never been contacted about it. I actually had government security clearance myself for several years despite not being terribly accurate on the forms (for working in a non-secret project at a company that also did government stuff). So I don't think they want anything very detailed, and it's just being able to account for your time rather than caring what you did. I'm not sure how much they'll even cross-reference it to the interview, since it's done by separate people (or not done at all).

But back to the question, it's very hard to generalise about what employers are looking for, and there are lots of prejudices involved. It definitely depends on your skills at lying, and if you're not a great liar, telling the truth often works. Lots of people take time out, for family reasons or mental health or COVID or failed business ventures (fuck I know someone who spent 6 months trying to work out a system to win at the stock exchange and he got a job when he failed), and while not all employers are sympathetic, some will be.

[Goldentony]

go "ME ARSE WAS GOING LIKE THAT" then make a fist and open your hand really fast over again

[Dex Sawash]

go "ME ARSE WAS GOING LIKE THAT" then make a fist and open your hand really fast over again

Irregularities in clacker valve

[JaDanketies]

You can say you did freelance content writing / digital marketing for me if you like. Send us a DM and I'll send you on my deets and arrange the lie.

Frankly I don't think you've got anything to worry about though. Just twist the truth a little bit.

• You naively / foolishly / confidently / adverbially left a job that wasn't working for you without having something else lined up.
• You investigated a few different industries and thought about what you really want to do and what kind of business you want to work for.
• Then COVID happened for 14 of the 18 months you're fretting about, and people stopped hiring. You spent this time reading interesting things about your job role and polishing up your skills.
• And then you applied for this job because you now have a good idea of what you want to do and what kind of place you want to work, and this particular employer fits like a glove. So really it's good in retrospect that you left your job without knowing where you wanted to go, because you've skilled up, and it's ended up with you sat here in this interview, going for something that really feels like the right job for you.

[Icehaven]

I've acted as a reference for multiple people for jobs with security checks (ranging from working at an airport coffee shop to fixing the spelling on secret government reports) and have never been contacted about it. I actually had government security clearance myself for several years despite not being terribly accurate on the forms (for working in a non-secret project at a company that also did government stuff). So I don't think they want anything very detailed, and it's just being able to account for your time rather than caring what you did. I'm not sure how much they'll even cross-reference it to the interview, since it's done by separate people (or not done at all)

Yep it depends on the workplace I spose. When I started at mine both my referees texted me to say they'd been called by the vetting service, then a few years later when we had a new starter in my department she had to explain what she'd lived on during a lengthy gap in employment. They weren't bothered that she hadn't been working, they just had to check she could account for how she'd been supported financially, as we work in a clink so obviously there can't be any room for unexplained windfalls or anything.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

They like it when you reply 'none of your business is it really, come on then, you're the big man, nothing bad ever happened to you then eh? eh?' and cry.